Do you have a Disney Bucket List? Mike does . . . and a sick sense of humor to go with it. Take a look at this roster of things to do before you die and let us know what’s missing.

1.      Visit all twelve Disney parks.

2.       Watch the Magic Kingdom fireworks from the California Grill.

3.       Swim with Nemo at Epcot.

4.       Ride Space Mountain with the lights on.

5.       Visit Club 33.

6.       Compete in the canoe races.

7.       Play basketball in the Matterhorn.

8.       Climb all four Disneyland mountains.

9.       Kiss someone you love on every Disney attraction.

10.   Kiss someone you dislike on every Disney attraction.  (Seriously, it’s time we started trying to mend a few fences here.)

11.   Teach a parrot to perform the entire show from the Enchanted Tiki Room.

12.   Have lunch at the cast member break room.  Yeah, it’s not that great, but how many people can say they’ve actually done it?

13.   Go to the single rider line and find the love of your life.  (If already in a committed relationship, make darn sure that person is in line with you.)

14.   Join Club 33.

15.   Actually win the redhead.

16.   Run the Walt Disney World Marathon backwards and complain about the traffic.

17.   Make hidden psycho Mickeys by going through the park and putting googly eyes on anything that looks even remotely like a face.

18.   Get a job as a cast member, then get fired for pointing at something with only one finger.

19.   Begin a new tradition – the Food and Booze Gumball Rally.

20.   Design a new churro.  For example, the churro stuffed corn dog with a Dole Whip center (except you don’t get to use that one because I just came up with it and I’m going to make a fortune off that idea.)

21.   Learn the names of every ride vehicle in every park.  Annoy people with the knowledge.  (Actually, that last goes without saying.) 

22.   Dress up in a white wig and knickers, sneak onto the Hall of Presidents’ stage, and, when they introduce Martin Van Buren, laugh derisively.

23.   Re-enact “Up” by getting all the Mickey balloons you can find and using them to lift you over Main Street. 

24.   Fix the Yeti.

25.   Get kicked out of Club 33 for constantly opening windows and shouting to the crowds in New Orleans Square “I’m here and you’re not!”

26.   Visit Tokyo Disney Resort without once shouting to one of the audio-animatronics “Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto”.

27.   Ride the Carousel of Progress in reverse and go back in time. 

28.   Put Jose back to sleep.

29.   Go on a VIP tour and pretend to be a star.

30.   Wear a plaid vest and see how many people try to figure out what star you are leading around.

31.   Go ten minutes in DCA without cursing those bleeping pipes.

32.   Visit a waterpark and never…not once…come across a warm spot.

33.   Win the Gumball Rally.

34.   Go ahead and die…you’ve done everything.  But be sure you do it in one of the parks so you can have somewhere nice to haunt.

Well, that’s our lucky 34 . . . but there’s room for a thousand . . . any more ideas?

(Featured image is from our friend Brandon @DizFeed)

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Mike lives in Phoenix, Arizona and has two claims to fame. The first is that he was born the day Disneyland opened. So, yes, he is old. The second is that he is the funniest internal auditor in the profession of internal auditing. Yes, a very low bar. Yes, this is akin to being the sanest person in the asylum. So why not combine those two great achievements? Why not combine that love for Disneyland with a slightly offbeat sense of humor? I guess we’ll all find out.