The debate among Disney fans has raged for years. Which is better – Disneyland or Disneyworld? Well, we finally have an answer. A thoroughly researched and unbiased analysis has been completed, and below are the results.
|Disneyland||Walt Disney world|
|The Happiest Place on Earth.||The Happiest Place in Florida (maybe).|
|Occasional smog with chances of rain.||Occasional mild days with significant chances of heat, humidity, and hurricanes.|
|Has Sleeping Beauty’s Castle.||Has Cinderella’s Castle…of death!!!|
|Has Guardians of the Galaxy.||Has Tower of Terr…Okay, you win this one.|
|Is where Walt walked.||Is where Walt would die of embarrassment if he ever saw EPCOT.|
|Has Small World, a whimsical boat ride passing a cherubic chorus of delightful dolls representing children from around the globe.||Has Small World, a nefarious plot to take over the world by training children to wander the streets humming that song until everyone goes mad.|
|Has Indiana Jones Adventure.||Has Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular…of death!!!|
|Is where Walt’s frozen body has been secretly hidden, awaiting the day when his genius can be revived.||Is where the real, live Figment has been trapped, ensuring imagination will never run free again.|
|Has Tom Sawyer Island, where children of all ages can play and explore.||Has the abandoned Discovery Island, where no one is claiming Dr. Moreau-like experiments are being conducted…but, then again, who really knows.|
|Has clear, cool water supplied from the finest aquifers of Northern California.||What, exactly, is that I’m tasting in the water?|
|Has Fantasmic.||Has Fantasmic…of death!!!|
|Has a hidden club above Pirates of the Caribbean that serves as a respite for the lucky few who have access.||Has a hidden grotto under Pirates of the Caribbean that serves as the staging ground for the zombie apocalypse.|
|You can get Mickey ears with your name on them that allow you to share the joy of reliving your childhood.||You can get Mickey ears with implant devices that force you to share your PIN with the dark web.|
|Has lifelike animals throughout the attractions that are the result of incredible Imagineering skills.||Has lifelike animals throughout the attractions that are the result of…well, actually, the less you know, the better.|
|Has churros, Dole whip, Mickey ice cream bars, and corn dogs.||Has churros, Dole whip, Mickey ice cream bars, and corn dogs…all, of death!!!|
|Is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America… with hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world.||
Is dedicated to the unstoppable passage of time that is slowly guiding us all towards an inevitable death.
Well, I guess that settles that. The answer is crystal clear and there can be absolutely no room for disagreement.
Of course, if you have your own ideas, please feel free to share them.