by, 12-25-2007 at 08:49 PM
It is Christmas night and I am sitting here thinking of the past year. So much has happened.
My main focus has been my dad, who at this time last year was so out of it on morphine he didnt realize I gave him a crappy haircut. But he appreciated it.
As people keep telling me, I have made it through a year, I cant help but think of the things that my dad has missed and be sad. I know he is with us and watching us, but that still is hard.
I have now experienced every holiday for a first time without my dad. I do not feel any stronger. I feel sad. I miss my dad. It has been a year since the kids last saw him.
The next few days willl be a real test for me. It is the last few days until the anniversary mark of my dad passing away on the 28th. If I can make it through these next few days I feel like I can make it through anything. Or so I keep telling myself.
I was finally able to make a collage of pictures of my dad and hang it on the wall. It was very hard to do but I did it.
I have so much sadness in me but know that I am a stronger person for having gone through all this. One day I hope to be able to help someone else who has lost a parent.