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Thank God my vicious, violent depression is fading (I hope!) It seems to be settling into a general feeling of blah. I'm sleeping a lot (I'm taking Benadryl to help counteract the dizzy spells right now) and I have no motivation to do much of anything. I'm hoping to shake it off pretty soon.
As of today I've been off my psych meds for 4 days. Amazing what a difference they made. I'm going through all the classic signs of withdrawal and whatnot, it's what happens when you're on Effexor for 3 years and then just stop taking it. I'm trying to maintain my positive thoughts, I know once this passes I'll feel better. But right now I'm a fcuking wreck. Very easily upset, I'm crying every 10 minutes over the lamest things. My mom doesn't know if she should put me on suicide watch or what to
The powers that be have blessed me with some remarkable friends, both near and far, both newer and older. These are people who won't let me stay down on the ground when I fall, people who constantly reassure and remind me that I am worth something. People who believe in me even when I'm afraid to believe in myself. People who care for and love me like I was their very own family. Each individual has brought something so precious to my life and my being.
So with friends like these,
I try very hard to be a good person. I've made a lot of changes in my life over the past few years, in the hopes of bettering myself overall. Thing is, every time I fix one thing, or get started, I find something else to fix or change.. And another thing. And so on and so forth.
So, when will I be done? When will I feel like a complete, good, and true person who is living up to her potential as a productive member of society? I'm not looking for instant results, but am I the only
I've been feeling rather meh since returning from vacation. Maybe now that I have no work to dread going to, my life is lacking? ;) Probably not. I'm just feeling overly sleeepy (went to bed before 7pm last night and just got up 10 minutes ago). My ankle hurts like seven sons of bitches right now, as do both of my knees. I look like I was in a war, not on vacation.
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