Thank you everyone for your good thoughts for today. They gave me earplugs when I went in and then also put headphones on that played music and some happy and relaxing songs came on which REALLY helped.

They had to inject me with the contrast since I had surgery so recently. It hurt my arm and instead of it being 25 minutes it was an hour. I was so calm and mellow from the Xanax that I closed my eyes and pictured a beach and friends and drinks and it helped. Lots.

...

I get to experience another MRI tomorrow. I am so not looking forward to it. Thankfully this time I have more than a few hours to prepare for it and the doctor has given me Xanax to take before.

Heres hoping that everything comes back ok.

This year needs to end. Yes I had lots of good things, but there were bad/sad things too.

Now, just when there was a light, I am having back problems again and am a little scared that I am back at square one with the problems. Hopefully some rest will help.

Today marks many events in my life.

1. My brothers birthday who passed away, he would have been 39

2. 7 months ago my niece passed away, exactly at this time.

3. My dad was admitted to the hopsital for the last time 2 years ago.

It has been a very emotional day and I have held it all together. I don't feel strong at all, I miss all three of them more than anything.

Hug your loved ones tonight.

I had my first MRI done last night and it was a scary experience. It was loud and there was no room at all in there. They gave me earplugs but it was still really loud. I am hoping I don't ever have to have one again, or at least with more warning. I had 3 hours to prepare myself for it and I was pretty freaked out.

Anyway, that step is done and I meet with the surgeon on Tuesday.