MiceChat - Blogs - MTNGIRL http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/ MiceChat is a Disney theme parks news blog, and discussion forum. We love Disney, so visit MiceChat to see the latest Disney park information and news! en Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:28:50 GMT vBulletin 60 http://micechat.com/forums/images/mc3/misc/rss.jpg MiceChat - Blogs - MTNGIRL http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/ Remembering...... http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/623-remembering.html Tue, 19 Aug 2008 22:38:06 GMT Yesterday was the 27th anniversary of my father's death. I thought I was doing ok - but looking back on the fact that I was pretty snappy yesterday, I realize it was probably sitting there eating at the back of my mind.

Today I remembered a quote,
Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult -- once we truly understand and accept it -- then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

M Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled.

Since I lost my dad so early in life, I feel like I've relived the loss again during every significant milestone in my life. You spend a lot of time with "what if", if he'd lived how would my life be different, would he be proud of who I am, love my family and friends.

I'm sure the loss molded me and set me on the path of a lot of the decisions I made in my life - good and bad. And it's never seemed easy.

Thankfully, my life might be difficult, but it is good and I am happy and loved. And I'll always have my memories :love:


]]> MTNGIRL http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/623-remembering.html Always Learning.... http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/485-always-learning.html Sun, 06 Jul 2008 20:55:52 GMT There is one quote I don't think I ever really got, but now I do.

"Never make someone your priority when you're only an option".

I think I finally get it. It's not about shutting yourself off to people, being unkind or never taking a chance.
It's about understanding your expectations of others. It's all about what are you willing to give without expecting anything in return.

Somewhere between doormat and disappointment lives a world of happiness. I'm going to strive to find that precarious balance. ]]> MTNGIRL http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/485-always-learning.html You know who you are..... http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/466-you-know-who-you.html Mon, 30 Jun 2008 04:44:43 GMT I think of you so often and remember happily The many times we met on the net, you and me. Never have I ever known before you came along That a... I think of you so often and remember happily
The many times we met on the net, you and me.
Never have I ever known before you came along
That a long distance friendship could be so very strong.
You've given me so many things in many different ways;
You're good and sweet and kind with a smile that always says...
You'd open up your heart to anyone you see
And this is why, my friend,
You mean the world to me. ]]> MTNGIRL http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/466-you-know-who-you.html And the holidays begin.... http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/122-holidays-begin.html Tue, 20 Nov 2007 19:28:56 GMT I love the holidays. Starting with Halloween everything different decorations go up for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I love each holiday... I love the holidays. Starting with Halloween everything different decorations go up for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I love each holiday for it's own thing,

Halloween is pure fun. No stress, no worries, just silly decorations and candy.
Thanksgiving is the harkening of fall. A wonderful meal, a time to remember and the last deep breathe before,
Christmas. What can I say? I love the decorations, I love to shop and try and find the perfect gift and I love that my kid is home for a good long time and we can hang out and do family activities.

Thanksgiving starts the stress. I'm hoping to do better with it this year. I tend to get overzealous at what needs to get done and unrealistic about what can get done.

This year is exceptionally tough, in among everything I need to continue to take care of myself and I'm not doing all that great with that. Everyday I'm not improving my health is another day lost. Work is continuing to be stressful. And then the major fallout with my mom.

While I feel relieved that I don't feel I need to keep up the pretense anymore. I still feel a sadness creeping up about the family I've never had/never will have. I've noticed it this week as Thanksgiving draws nearer, the headaches/neckaches are back and with them my favorite friends doubt/insecurity.

That's what the whole deal is for me. It's a reminder that I'm never have been or never will be good enough or loved the way I should be. And it spills over, I can't always believe anyone will care or that I'll make any kind of difference. It just perpetuates a viscious cycle of beating myself down.

I hope I can make this year different. I know I'm going to give it my best shot! ]]> MTNGIRL http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/122-holidays-begin.html A good day. http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/86-good-day.html Wed, 31 Oct 2007 23:33:52 GMT Today is a good day! I wanted to stop and take note.

Sure, I've got turmoil stirring about, but I've got oh so much good.

I was reminded today that it's ok to push that turmoil aside and to just have some fun. I'm not avoiding or not being present, I'm just making a choice that deciding to be happy can be a good thing.

I dealt with my mom.
I'm not sick and I'm working on my weight and my blood pressure.
I've got good friends and I think I'm a pretty good friend myself (at least most of the time).
It's the start of the holiday season.

Life's good. I'm just going to take a deep breathe and appreciate that for a moment. ]]> MTNGIRL http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/86-good-day.html <![CDATA[Why can't life be easy. Ok, not easy, just not freakin' miserable..]]> http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/71-why-cant-life-easy-ok-not-easy-just-not-freakin-miserable.html Tue, 23 Oct 2007 16:44:43 GMT I'm going to sound selfish for a bit. I hate that. So many people are worried for the safety of their family and homes, my issues should be on the back burner why I offer love and support.

I do care, for all of you impacted, I care and I'm here to do what I can.

Once again, I'm struggling.

I'm horribly disappointed with myself. I'm still sick but getting better. But I've go no motivation to try and fix my health. I don't beleive I can do it, so I'm not willing to even try. I just see the failure looming. And yet, I'd really prefer to not die. How many times do you hear you're high risk for heart attacks/strokes before you do something. Mine has been 3 and still nothing.

And I feel like an incredibly bad person and bad daughter. My mom and I are not close, and she's always made me feel insecure, unwanted and not quite up to par. She stopped by and told me she was having major surgery on Thursday but in the next breath handed me a scrapbook that excluded my father. Honestly, in that instant I felt like she wished our family had never existed. Usually I just feel badly about myself after our encounters, this time I was angry and just wanted her to be as gone as she seemed to want my little dysfunctional family gone.

Now I have to man up and do the right thing and plan on seeing/checking on her after her surgery. I have no desire to do it, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't.

Other than that, I'm feeling better and feeling stronger, but it always seems like I just can't catch a break. ]]> MTNGIRL http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/71-why-cant-life-easy-ok-not-easy-just-not-freakin-miserable.html The need to get centered http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/58-need-get-centered.html Wed, 17 Oct 2007 02:42:59 GMT I'm an incredibly emotional person. SusieP said I wear my heart on my sleeve, well, that's a very true statement.

While it can be good, it's got the downside of making little things get the better of me.

My world's just a bit off kilter at the moment. It's really making me sad. After my scare last week I really wanted to feel calm and centered and I feel more off center than normal. Sadly, as much as I try, I can't seem to get it quite right at the moment.

I think I'll just keep the faith and the hope that it will all work out fine. That's a much better mindset than letting it wear me down. ]]> MTNGIRL http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/58-need-get-centered.html A Big Scare http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/43-big-scare.html Sat, 13 Oct 2007 15:57:22 GMT So, I got a trip to the doctor this week during which I was pretty sure I was having a heart attack and was afraid for my life. It ended up being... So, I got a trip to the doctor this week during which I was pretty sure I was having a heart attack and was afraid for my life.

It ended up being pneumonia and the coughing and fluid in my chest was causing the chest pains and so I'm home and drugged up and feeling much better. That's a great thing.

I was terrified and I had all the typical worries on whether everything in my life was in place. Sadly, it wasn't. I truly admire people that can answer yes it is to that question.

Emotionally, it's been an incredibly tough week. My vacation didn't end on the high note I hoped and I had been mired down in the muck of that. Now I realize that some things just are not that important and what is really important is how I feel for the people I'm lucky enough to have in my life.

I've been accused of being a peace maker and I often stick my nose in where it's not needed or wanted. Maybe I need to stop doing that or maybe it's a good thing to try and help people remember what's really important in life. That's one I'm still thinking on. I always hope in these situations that my intent is good but I know it's not always seen that way.


What I can say for sure is that my scare has really reinvigorated me to make sure that the people that I love never doubt that, to try and be the best person I can in all my relationships and count my blessings each and every day. All of those seem like incredibly easy things to do but often get lost in the muck of everyday life.

If I can do that, I'll truly feel like I've had success in my life.

For those of you hanging in with me, many, many thanks. I hope I've told you enough how much it means to me. ]]> MTNGIRL http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/43-big-scare.html Why or why...... http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/6-why-why.html Sun, 30 Sep 2007 16:31:34 GMT Have I let my health and stress level get so bad?
Honestly, I've about worked myself to death over the past month and it's taken its toll.

Yesterday was a great day. Elton John rocked, got some shopping in, and dinner with the kid. Somehow I also bought 3 additional concert tickets, but, I guess that's ok.

Today, I'm not feeling so hot. I'm worn out physically and emotionally. Hopefully today will be a relaxing day and I'll get back into the groove of taking care of myself.

At least my toast was outstanding! ]]> MTNGIRL http://micechat.com/forums/blogs/mtngirl/6-why-why.html