Eff off.
Posted 02-25-2009 at 05:46 PM by sunnygirl
I'd like to give a big, heartfelt eff off to just about everyone in the world right now. I'm in a rotten mood, and I'm feeling ready to kick puppies or pinch babies.
To Lisa, at Patterson Recovery (who we PAY to repossess our trailers and boats), eff off. Don't send me 14 emails in one day about why things weren't done 2 months before I even started working here. We pay you, bitch, not the other way around, so drop your snotty attitude and just start doing the work we're paying you to do.
To Dave, the nerdy guy with the wonky eye who sits across from me, eff off. Don't come to my desk and give me unsolicited advice on how to do a job I've been doing for 13 years, especially when there's no complaints about my performance. If I want advice on how to word something another way, I'll come to you. I can't even tell if you're talking to me, or to the guy over there, because you're looking at us both. At the same effing time.
To Gabriel, the douchey Don Juannabe who I worked with 5 years ago and have the sad misfortune of working with again, eff off. I didn't like you then and I don't like you now. Stop acting like we're friends. Stop asking me if I still talk to anybody from our old employer - I hated those miserable bastards almost as much as I hate you.
To Dan, the crazy germophobe who sits in the next aisle, eff off. I don't want to participate in your potluck, so stop asking me what I'm going to bring. And stop spraying that effing Lysol all over the place, it makes my airways slam shut. Keep it at your desk, chump.
I'm sure I'll come up with a few more, given time to stew in my hatred.
To Lisa, at Patterson Recovery (who we PAY to repossess our trailers and boats), eff off. Don't send me 14 emails in one day about why things weren't done 2 months before I even started working here. We pay you, bitch, not the other way around, so drop your snotty attitude and just start doing the work we're paying you to do.
To Dave, the nerdy guy with the wonky eye who sits across from me, eff off. Don't come to my desk and give me unsolicited advice on how to do a job I've been doing for 13 years, especially when there's no complaints about my performance. If I want advice on how to word something another way, I'll come to you. I can't even tell if you're talking to me, or to the guy over there, because you're looking at us both. At the same effing time.
To Gabriel, the douchey Don Juannabe who I worked with 5 years ago and have the sad misfortune of working with again, eff off. I didn't like you then and I don't like you now. Stop acting like we're friends. Stop asking me if I still talk to anybody from our old employer - I hated those miserable bastards almost as much as I hate you.
To Dan, the crazy germophobe who sits in the next aisle, eff off. I don't want to participate in your potluck, so stop asking me what I'm going to bring. And stop spraying that effing Lysol all over the place, it makes my airways slam shut. Keep it at your desk, chump.
I'm sure I'll come up with a few more, given time to stew in my hatred.
Total Comments 4
Comments
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OMG! I'm sorry but you made me laugh SO HARD! And then I had to read it out loud to MM and then we BOTH laughed out loud.
You are funny when you're pissed!Posted 02-25-2009 at 10:42 PM by Rixter
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I
this, though I am sorry you were so annoyed. That’s is my week at the office too.
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I especially agree with the Potluck “Eff Off”, I also hate the pressure to participate in every potluck (and our dept has a lot). We just had one today, and all week it was the reminder emails and the conversation makers would come up and say “what are you bringing”. I just kept saying that I looked into the future and it appeared I was going to be home with a sick child that day. I came in, but I packed my lunch but managed to contribute a ladle, if you consider that participating.
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I would like to add an Eff Off to the ladies who overhear me tell my friends how much I hate my new haircut, and all run over like a mob to tell me how cute it is. I am sure you think its cute, that’s great. But I don’t like it, and that is not going to change just because you do. I don’t your need sympathy, my hair will grow. Leave me alone.Posted 02-26-2009 at 11:25 AM by LLEBREKNIT -
Haha this was one of the most interesting things I've read today.Posted 02-27-2009 at 12:39 AM by Alex E 
- I agree with Rixter, one of the funniest blogs I've read. And I can say that I have a few of the same people in my office space..Brilliant!Posted 02-28-2009 at 04:23 PM by donduckfan50
