1. Keep is appropriate.
2. Try not to bring up religion or politics.
3. More once I think of them.
I'll start. It's not really a joke, but oh well.
I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself !
Phobias (These actually are real believe it or not):
Androphobia- Fear of men.
Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc.
Anthrophobia or Anthophobia- Fear of flowers.
Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single.
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Barophobia- Fear of gravity.
Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Coprophobia- Fear of feces.
Defecaloesiophobia- Fear of painful bowels movements.
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
Helminthophobia- Fear of being infested with worms.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.
Ichthyophobia- Fear of fish.
Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope.
Pentheraphobia- Fear of mother-in-law.
Symmetrophobia- Fear of symmetry.
Urophobia- Fear of urine or urinating.
Venustraphobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Xenoglossophobia- Fear of foreign languages.
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat.