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  1. #1

    • Hurt, Pain, Love= <3
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    I can't imagine....

    I can't imagine someone close to me or anyone else dying. It haunts me everyday and I feel that if something happened to my dad or mom I might cry everyday and never come out of my room again. I love my dad and my mom and I can't imagine them dying. I am sitting here crying my heart out for everyone who's love ones have died. I am just sitting here thinking about everyone I hurt everyday and what happened if they died tomorrow. I just can't imagine my dad or mom die.... Nightmares haunt me to this day about it.....


    My reoccuring nightmare is about something that could happen.

    We are driving along sitting in the car at a stoplight in broad daylight. No one else is around which none of us pay attention to. A man comes in a grabs my dad and slams his head through the window leaving his head hanging out caught inside the window. He shoots my mom and then turns to my little brother and me. We manage to get away some how but he starts shooting at us as we run to the "Kangaroo" and I wake up.



    I just cry and cry and cry after that and go into my parent's bedroom and just sit and think. I wish I could take back every mean thing I said to anyone in my life. I just don't want anyone to die....




    I'm just going to sit here and cry and cry and cry.

  2. #2

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    Aww, what a horrible dream! I used to have those.. It chilled me to the bone... I would just cry myself to sleep after that... If my parents or anyone close to me EVER died, I would die on the inside too...

  3. #3

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    Yeah it hurts real bad. I've had that dream thousands of times and I wake up and cry. So it's going to happen. Hope you get over it!
    A spartan on the outside, guitarist in the inside






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  4. #4

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    I've had dreams like this all the time. This one is very horrible.

    Once, my friend's mom had a dream that a ball of fire fell on her brother and killed him..one week after that he died

    This dream might just be a warning. Your turning around and saying sorry and apologizing for all these means you've done before. Dreams like these make me absolutely turn around my attitude until the haunting goes away.


  5. #5

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    My suggestion is to not dwell on the what if's, enjoy the time that you have with them whether that be brief or long enough to bounce their great grand children on their knee. Either is going to be too short. So from someone who has lost their mother, cherish her, go right now and hug her and tell her you love her. I would give anything to be able to hug my mother just one more time, and for her to tell me to stop being so foolish

    take that jediMihawk

  6. #6

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    Exactly right Midien - there's no use waiting for everyone to die! We will all die and nobody knows when. So, live life to the fullest now - and never hang up the phone or leave the house without saying I love you.

    Will trade husband for Disneyland and DCA Pins!

  7. #7

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    Quote Originally Posted by halifax_girl View Post
    My suggestion is to not dwell on the what if's, enjoy the time that you have with them whether that be brief or long enough to bounce their great grand children on their knee. Either is going to be too short. So from someone who has lost their mother, cherish her, go right now and hug her and tell her you love her. I would give anything to be able to hug my mother just one more time, and for her to tell me to stop being so foolish
    I think that too. And whenever I have those dreams, I think those words in my head... But it still cannot completely erase the feelings of terror within you...



    Hehe, this is getting too gloomy for my taste. Let's think about rainbows and sunshine! Yay! All better now!

  8. #8

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    Quote Originally Posted by BFJen View Post
    Exactly right Midien - there's no use waiting for everyone to die! We will all die and nobody knows when. So, live life to the fullest now - and never hang up the phone or leave the house without saying I love you.
    Yup, I'm the same way. I fear for losing yoyo all too often.

  9. #9

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    I'm not trying to darken anyone's mood it's just that I needed to vent to my MC peeps.... W.A.L.Y

  10. #10

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    If you want to feel better, listen to "Fix You" by Coldplay. That song always makes me feel better.

  11. #11

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    Yes the dream is very scary. And the real life thing isn't at all any better. Like BFJen said, my mom said "I Love You" to my older brother right before he died. It is very depressing. I hate those dreams. The make my stomach hurt. Then I just think of a "happy" time with my family and it goes away.



  12. #12

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    Just remember that most of our dreams are our minds way of dealing with something that is going on in our life. Did you do or say something to someone that you highly regret? The dream may have been generated out of the guilt you felt for saying something to that person.

    It's a horrible dream to have and I hope you don't have it again soon but you might want to consider apologizing for what you have done or possibly looking at what might have caused the dream in the first place.

    I hope things work out for you.

  13. #13

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    Oh, after this I feel terrible for all the thingsI've done. All the lies I've told, even if I thought they were protecting the person. What if my parents or my sister, my cousins, any part of my family died? I have those dreams sometimes, but not too often.
    We're the new face of faliure,
    prettier and younger,
    but not any better off.
    -Fall Out Boy

  14. #14

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    Oh goodness.. wow - how horrible. My dad died in 2004 and while he was in the hospital, I used to have these dreams ( not really dreams tho... more like nightmares ) about tombstones with my dad's name on them. I also had that dream, but with my great-uncle's name, and he died the week after the dream, and my great-aunt too, and she died about 2 weeks after the dream. It still worries me, and the NIGHT my dad died, that night, I said to him in prayers: "Daddy, if there is SOME way, somehow, pls give me a sign that you're alright." then the next day, all these people coming in and out of our house bringing food and presents for us because of him dying, someone would have seen this, but no one did..... what happened was that later in this day my aunt ( not the one who had died ) found a small white note on our doorstep. She picked it up, and gave it too me. I read it. It said, and IN MY DAD'S HANDWRITING: "Everything is okay, I'm in a better area, and there are rainbows, and clouds, and over the rainbow it's wonderful. Don't worry about me, its all ok." I saw this and just burst out in tears. It was, I believe, a TRUE SIGN from my Dad, from what I asked him to do. In the months before he died, he had told me "If something happens to Daddy, I want you to be strong, and if there's a way, I'm gonna connect back to you guys." I truly believe it was the sign. That was the connection. I will never forget the note, and I still have it. It's written on the back of an envelope, which was quite typical of him, since he was a songwriter, and would just write on random things: napkins, envelopes, etc. I just thought it was the WEIRDEST thing. The dreams though... they were scary. The one thing I remember that has hurt me since then, and probably always will was, my Dad and I were playing a video game ( he was like a grown kid, he LOVED computer games and video games ) and when I lost, I told him I hated him. I think I just said it out of my own selfishness, and it was for the most stupid reason. I know he felt hurt, cause I saw it in his face, and I apologized later, but I could tell it had hurt him. I'll never forget it, and it still gets me to this day how much I want to take everything I ever said that was mean to him back. I know he forgives me, as he always did, but... i don't know, its still painful to think about.... but anyways, I don't think there was ever a worse day in my LIFE than the day my mom came home from the hospital and said "papa se murio". In spanish, this means "Daddy died". Those were the worst words I have ever heard. I just ran to the bedroom, closed the door, and began SOBBING. I couldn't believe it. This man, who had fought for 6 years a cancer that the doctors said he had had 2 months left to live, Melanoma.. and he did everything he could have done to try to fight it, and live through it. I never thought he would have died! He fought till his whole body had cancer tumors, except his heart, which the doctors thought was especially rare. It got to EVERY place on him except his heart. It NEVER got any tumor. I just still can't believe it, 2 years later, and I don't think I ever will. Sometimes I feel like I'm in this terribly long nightmare and I'm just gonna wake up and everything will be back to the way it was. . . I guess I'm just gonna keep sleeping then, cause I know it isn't true. But even though I know I'm supposed to "move on" like people have told me, it's not easy at all. You never really realize what you have till its gone, and that's exactly what happened. I never imagined him gone, but now, not only do I have to imagine it, I have to believe it.... its terrible. But I think about him everyday, and remember how he told me to be strong, and I try. So, as life goes by, I'll always remember hiim, and the strength he gave me to go on.




  15. #15

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    Re: I can't imagine....

    Wow..I feel sorry for you.I have never had any close relatives die. The closet was my mom's great aunt whom I've never met.Other than that I only have had 2 of my dogs die.
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