That's right. I've been able to get the Wii, the Playstation 3 and the Xbox 360 all together here to debate each other so that we may decide for ourselves who wins the Next Gen War!
First, The players:
This is the Nintendo Wii. She is an Aquarius who enjoys playing with small animals, mini games, and vibrating controllers.
Here we have the Playstation 3. Weighing in at over 400 pounds, this powerhouse has function and size to spare.
And here is the Xbox 360. He enjoys college football, big knockers, and once drank so much yegermyester he woke up next to a fake zebra in Mexico City.
Here is the transcript from the debate.
Me: Thank you all for coming here tonight. This is to decide who the winner of the next Gen war is.
PS3: What do you mean?
Me: uh... well, you three are to debate and then we will decide...
PS3: There is no decision to be made. I'm the winner. Always have, always will be.
Wii: But more people have me. I'm cheap like that.
360: (to PS3) check out that chick's knockers. I wouldn't mind downloading some of that.
Wii: Hey big guy, you want some Classic Mario?
360: Whatever baby.
Wii: Sure thing, That will be one thousand points.
360 Points? What's that all about?
Wii: It's what I use instead of money.
PS3: Don't do it 360. She seems cheep now, but she's high maintance. If you want to keep her happy you have to keep buying her stuff. Otherwise she won't give you anything.
360: Dude, that ain't right.
PS3: If we could talk about video games now? I'm able to play...
360: This one time, a bunch of my friends and me were playing Madden, and we totally rocked these lamers and we were all like, take that you tard, and they were all like, crying and stuff. It was awsome!
PS3: ... uh.. anyway. I have a very powerful Cell processor
360: HALO ROCKS!!! WOO HOO!!! (chanting) Master Chief! Master Chief, Master Chief!
Wii: Look at what I have! It's a cute little Pokemon! Awww, look how cute and fluffy it is!
PS3: I don't believe this. We are suppose to be game consoles and I'm the only one here prepared to play games.
Wii: I like to play games. I have, like, lots of games. I have Raving Rabbids where you play mini games, I have Wario Ware where you play mini games, I have Wii Sports where you play Mini games, I have..
360: How much you wanna bet I can eat a whole pizza by myself? If I do it I get the "he eat the whole pizza by himself" award! I RULE!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!
PS3: Final Fantasy. I'm gonna get Final Fantasy.
Wii: Well I have a date with the Squarenix guy... I bet I get a Final Fantasy game too, but it will be different. You'll get to play, like, all these neat mini games.
360: What's a final fantasy? The only final I care about is the Final Four, and the only fantasy I care about is Fantasy Football! Go Redskins!!!
Wii: (to 360) Oh! I like sports too! I can play bowling and tennis and this adorable little ping pong game. I also have Punchout for 1000 wii points.
PS3: I'm about sick of this. This shouldn't even be a debate. Everyone knows I'm the best machine. That's why I cost so much.
Wii: I like it when large groups of people play with me. We have so much fun... I teach them this thing I call ,"The Big Cheese"...
360: Have you seen the knockers on these dead or alive girls. At first I was thinking all like, maybe their boobs don't bounce enough, but then i was all like, let's make their boobs bounce more! I so rock.
PS3: That's it! I'm tired of this stupid debate. I'm the best, I sell the most, I am the most powerful, and nothing anyone says will make any difference. (leaves)
Wii: Oh, poopie! I didn't want to make him mad.
360: So, baby, you wanna see my special bluetooth attachments?
Wii: Ooohh.. What's a blue tooth? (they leave together)
So there you have it. It's time for you to decide for yourself. And remember, if you choose wrong, you can always call everyone else a fanboy. That taunt always wins.
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