I hate to admit it, I've been avoiding the park this year.
Why, you ask? I bought my soCal annual pass on 12/02/07 and had a fantastic day of Christmassy fun. My husband dragged me to the wishing well to sing for him, bought me a peppermint sundae- it was a wonderful Disneyland day. So why have a been avoiding the park?
Because on 12/03/07, my husband walked out and never came back.
He let me know later that the Disneyland trip had been a way to make sure I didn't know the divorce was coming, so I wouldn't have time to react thanks to shock. When I asked why he had made me sing, he said, very coldly, "habit".
It's been a year-long struggle, having my favorite place in the world turned against me in an instant. One of my sisters, who knows of my long-time adoration of the park, said "You get custody of Disneyland in the divorce. He betrayed the spirit of the place and used it to hurt you. Disneyland now belongs to you." I liked the idea, but couldn't imagine it. Disneyland without my husband? We'd spent 3 anniversaries in the hotels, been passholders for two years, had a long-standing partnership on Buzz Lightyear- how could I ever go back without him?
Well, yesterday I did. I took a new grad-school friend (Erica) and met up with my sister and her darling two girls. I rode Space Mountain twice in the morning, took on Buzz a few times, even withstood the line at Midway Mania twice (That ride ROCKS).
Did I cry a little during Soarin'? Yes. Did I tear up during the fireworks, thinking of how much I missed being able to lean against him? Yes. Did I reflect for the first time in a while on what a stupid waste of a good thing he caused? Yes.
But Disneyland is mine again. I've always known that going there is a delight, I just never knew it could also be a triumph.
Think I'll still have to renew that annual pass...