I saw this on another board and thought how funny would if be if they had a button for everything!! So, forget the Birthday, Just Married, Happy Anniversary, or even the Family Reunion Buttons.
Here are some ideas:
"Just Dumped My Cheatin' Boyfriend!"
"Just Released From Lockup!" - Good for DL Security
"Just Had My Augmentation!"
"Today is My First Day on Supervised Release"
"Just Scraped Up Enough Money to Afford Park Admission"
"I Passed My 90 Day Probation Period!"
"I'm Out on Parole!"
"My Family Has No Idea I'm Here!"
"I'm Here Because My Best Friend Came in for Free Today!"