In 1992 Disneyland saw the epic premiere of Fantasmic!. This ground breaking, multimedia, must see, Disney spectacular, Event opened to wild reviews and has forced it's message of creativity onto unsuspecting guests ever since! However, over time it has become evident that Fantasmic! is truly a product of it's time. The technology used to beguile and enchant guests along the rivers of America has now become pedestrian. In addition to the tired visuals, the music can only be identified as "Plastic POP". But most importantly Fantastmic! Infringes on the basic principals of Walt Disney's iconic Theme park. So I propose Disney retire the well-worn antique in favor of something new and fresh while restoring Disneyland’s thematic integrity!
F!’s technology fails to produce a “how did they do that” reaction among guests. Lasers, mist screens, and pyro are now considered cheep. Shows such as The Fountains of the Bellagio offer virtually the same thing for FREE every night. Why not treat children and adults alike with the wonder of The Mark Twain Riverboat like never before!
The new show will be titled…Fantasmike! (F for frontier and ike for Klondike.) This earth shatteringly epic show will utilize the ultimate in technology, storytelling, and thematic continuity to deliver a spectacle worthy of the Disney brand!
The Mark Twain will open Act one of Fantasmike! By navigating the rivers of America with enchanting reverence and decorum. As the Mark twain passes the stage, viewers will magically be transported to natures wonderland. The depiction of fabulous Rainbow Caverns will immerse viewers in a kaleidoscope of colors projected on every single surface of the Frontierland area! Yes, through the use of vary important and yet virtually invisible special effects you will now witness beautiful caverns.
Act two opens with the ethereal sounds of nature. In contrast to it’s predecessor, Fantasmike!’s score assumes a more subdued restful approach. The timeless sounds of calm happy woodland animals will comfort viewers with a true understanding of how alluring and supremely majestic America was pre Fantasmic!. Using the latest in audio effects Disney will present 3D sounds set to overwhelming images of...... still water.
F! will continue to introduce guests to the wonders of days gone past by depicting a rousing stage show reminiscent of Golden Horseshoe Revue. Through the wizardry that is Walt Disney Imagineering, Davy and his 65 backup dancer comrades will dance on a magical wooden stage! This unprecedented number will unfold in a measured 26mins, marking the most prolonged dance routine ever choreographed for a Disney show!
This is a work in progress and I think it solves all the problems of Fantasmic! while still being really entertaining.
Note: I noticed that no one posted a reactionary "Fantasmic! Rocks" thread, so I filled that void. This is my first full attempt at satire so forgive me if I was a trifle obvious in my convictions.