I've had some pretty crappy skippers recently, for sure!
The first time I went through the new effects, the skipper was like.... "oh look, monkeys" and then gunned the boat forward. At the pirhanas he goes "oh look, pirhanas" (when the "attack" was happening in FRONT of the boat) and then gunned the boat through the area with nothing happening. Wow.
Another time I got this dude who was so bad we booed him at the end. ("On your left is an elephant. On your right is another elephant." ... "If you enjoyed this ride my name is Ed [not his real name, I can't remember what it was], if you didn't enjoy it I'm ... umm.. someone else.") Sheesh. It'd be better to say nothing at all than give spiels like that.
It is hit and miss (I have gotten some wonderful skippers who pretend that the JC is other rides or spiels... i.e. "On your right is the Temple of the Forbidden Eye, inspired by the famed arts and crafts movement in California!" or "Driver you are all clear, BEEP BEEP" when pulling away from the dock).
I am grateful... grapefruit! ~ Bjork (upon winning Best International Female Artist at the BRIT Awards)
A co-worker and I were discussing the JC yesterday, commenting that comedy takes great skill with timing and everything, when we came up with a great idea for a "Katrina/Rita Aid" type event. Disney could get Steve Martin, Robin Willams, Wayne and Drew and the rest of the WLIIA crowd, Steven Wright, etc., to skipper the JC! How much would you be willing to pay to see Robin Williams do a JC tour?
Of course after 9:00 PM it would be "adults only", cause the schtick would get "a little 'blue'."
Meanwhile, maybe Disney could bring back the DUH performers to skipper the JC while they're waiting for HPB to get "sparkled"
"She's taking everything. She's taking the house, she's taking the kid, she's taking the dog. IT'S NOT EVEN HER DOG. IT'S MY DOG! SHE'S TAKING . . . MY DOG!"
- Ron Livingston, "Band of Brothers"
My wife hasn't been on the Jungle Cruise since they added the piranha attack. I wanted her to be surprised by it.
As we entered the area, the skipper kept talking about the 'back side of water' ignoring the pictures of the fish on the rocks. Then just as the bubbles started to come toward the boat, he gunned the boat and completely ignored the piranha attack. The effect was totally lost. My wife was like "What the heck was that?"
What a bummer. The piranha attack is a great addition.
But don't worry ...if you take her on it again, it'll be fun when a skipper takes you through that part the "right way" and you get to watch the reactions of the guests who have never seen it. I saw one lady almost fall out of the boat because she jumped so high and another lady screamed at the top of her lungs like she thought they were real! LOL
My almost-best Jungle Cruise came when the CM skippering our boat had a terribly hoarse voice. Just getting us aboard took all his strength. I told him I could do the spiel without any problems, and he came a millisecond from handing me the mike; then he thought better of it, and kept it. I'm sure he was thinking, gee, what if this guy uses foul language, or does a lousy job, but I'm sure I could have pulled it off just fine.
As far as Maynard, he's a delight, and we've corresponded before: the guy spent a ton of time doing an original color self-portrait and mailed it up to me. What a CM!
You know, for the 50th they should've paid Steve Martin to be a skipper just for a day. Back before he worked the magic shop on Main Street he was a skipper but they threw him off because he'd never stick to the script.
Yesterday our first skipper wasn't very good. dbc thought it was because our boat was mostly little kids, but she rushed through the jokes, wasn't loud, messed a few up... But our second time our skipper was great! It might have been because she was being evaluated ( ) but she was really funny - she kept making fun of this guy in the front of the boat. The hippo part was great as well.
Good morning, son
In twenty years from now
Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
And I can tell you 'bout today
And how I picked you up and everything changed
It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew you'd feel the same things...
I remember there was one time we had a skipper that got speared by the natives at the native attack scene. He fell over the wheel dead and had the boat go at full speed the rest of the way! We went at full speed pass the backside of water, pass the rapids, pass trader sam and then we slowly came to stop at the dock to get out. He stayed dead until everybody was off the boat.
When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true, but because of distance, not for millions of years.