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  1. #1

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    A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    One day, while making careful observations of my lunch using my sense of taste, or, in layman's terms, eating, I had the great privilege of seeing that most elusive creature, Feralis Childicus, or the common Feral Child.

    This fine specimen was hiding among the bushes along the water, engaged in some form of primitive activity. I, being aware of its nasty reputation, thought it best to observe it from a distance. However, the creature suddenly sprang forth from the bushes, flung dirt in my general direction, and proceeded to rush back into its den in the bushes. The child also engaged in various activities of stupid nature, climbing up on the rocks where it shouldn't, tearing up bushes, etc.

    Now, this led me to wonder, how did these creatures leave the civilised world and enter this wild state? I believe I have a theory which adequately explains the Feralis Childicus

    No doubt some early parent from many years BI (Before Iger) left their child on Pirate's Lair. This child was forced to live off the food of tourists, living on the rocks of the island, never developing the proper behaviours a child should learn from a good parent. Unfortunately many children have followed this example, and without the presence of a parent willing to discipline the child, Feral Children seem to be exponentially multiplying.

    Have any of you had encounters with this no longer rare species?
    The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing - Walt Disney

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  2. #2

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    Preliminary results from as-yet unpublished anthropological studies suggest that the rise in sightings of f. childicus is related to an increase in the population of Parentus Stupidicus, particularly the stroller-enabled strain of Enrageous Maximus that has been reported in this study.

    Some investigators theorize that the f. childicus diet of churro scraps, turkey leg bones and discarded wads of chewing gum promotes their aberrant behavior; others insist it is learned behavior resulting from the childicus habit of associating with p. stupidicus.
    "With the acquisition of Marvel and now of Lucasfilm,
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  3. #3

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    Preliminary studies show that the young ones of this species upon reaching adulthood will someday mark their territory with discarded trash, spilled soda, and dirty diapers in messius parkinglotus.
    "You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice daily swill, but you cannot break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer."

  4. #4

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    I don't get it. Sorry. But are you trying to be cute with your post or serious? Because I don't think it is either, but that's just my humble opinion. Nothing mean intended, just asking. Thanks.

  5. #5

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    HA HA HA HA HLOVE this Thread lol

  6. #6

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    For those who are wondering, unnamed high-level Disneyland managers insist there is no truth to the rumor that Cast Members leave out food for feralis childicus. Once introduced to the Park environment by p. stupidicus, the species appears to be entirely self-sufficient, subsisting on discarded ODV scraps, food left out for feral cats, and an occasional duck.
    "With the acquisition of Marvel and now of Lucasfilm,
    Disney may have finally found the grail. You don't need
    imagination or art. All you need is a brand."

    - Neil Gabler


  7. #7

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Wiggins View Post
    For those who are wondering, unnamed high-level Disneyland Cast Members insist there is no truth to the rumor that CMs leave out food for feralis childicus.
    Very witty. How old are your children?

  8. #8

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    +1 for "Thread of the day" made me laugh, thanks.
    Just another DL fan

  9. #9

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    Quote Originally Posted by Popcornballs View Post
    I don't get it. Sorry. But are you trying to be cute with your post or serious? Because I don't think it is either, but that's just my humble opinion. Nothing mean intended, just asking. Thanks.
    Quite honestly, it sounded a bit better in my head. Didn't quite come out as well as hoped. But, anyway, this is actually a true story, I just decided to write it in the form of a scientific.... thingy..... as opposed to the usual rant report type thing.

    Brilliant work by those who've posted on this thread, I see we have a lot of scientists among us.
    The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing - Walt Disney

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  10. #10

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    Quote Originally Posted by Spirit King View Post
    Didn't quite come out as well as hoped.
    Oh, I don't know about that. I had a mouthful of coffee when I read it, and I'm still swabbing it out of my keyboard.
    "With the acquisition of Marvel and now of Lucasfilm,
    Disney may have finally found the grail. You don't need
    imagination or art. All you need is a brand."

    - Neil Gabler


  11. #11

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Wiggins View Post
    Oh, I don't know about that. I had a mouthful of coffee when I read it, and I'm still swabbing it out of my keyboard.
    Glad to hear it. Or, sorry to hear it I suppose.
    The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing - Walt Disney

    Shut up and get to work - Me

  12. #12

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    Very cool thread! Made me laugh.

  13. #13

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    Lol funny thread! But anyways I have never seen children who behave as badly as you have said. However, parents behaving poorly is rampant. It only takes so long of seeing mommy and daddy act with no respect for those around them for the child to pick it up and do the same. On a funny note I see young boys walk into the restrooms and pull their pants all the way down to their ankles at urinals all the time (that is one behavior I hope is not learned lol).
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  14. #14

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    Breaking News:

    A representitive has contacted me on behalf of the of the Childicus species and their pronounced symptoms of the repulsivus disfunctionus syndrome. It seems the savage little creatures are looking to be adopted away from their Parentus Stupidus by Magnus Fraters and Bigus Sisterus Mommyus.

    The Childicus are showing prnounced signs that they desire to become Casticus Membra (CMs) paid by Disneycus with "stipendium checkras" and full "benefitus" in order to "facilitaticus" lots of "candycus" and "sodacus popium".

    Anyone interested in supporting the cause, please contact the Consilatorium Generalus of Pirates Lair At Tom Sawyer Island.
    Last edited by Ride Warrior; 12-21-2011 at 11:03 AM.
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  15. #15

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    Re: A treatise on the indigenous Feral Children of Pirate's Lair

    It seems this species has multiplied and moved up north. I fondly recall a glimpse of said beast playing in diapers in a six flags fountain! Sorry, no photos were taken.

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