Disneyland fans have never had a good definition of the word ‘quality’, and these people, just now, are much in want of one. We all declare for ‘quality’; but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing.
What constitutes the bulwark of quality-control and our park theming?
It is not our shining spires, our bustling Main Street. These are not our reliance against monotony. Our reliance is in the love of quality which Walt has planted in our surgically enhanced bosoms.
Our defense is in the preservation of the spirit which prizes quality as the heritage of all guests, in all lands, and to a lesser extent next door in DCA. Destroy this spirit, and you have planted the seeds of boredom around your own parks.
At what point shall we expect the approach of danger? By what means shall we fortify against it? Shall we expect some theme park giant, to step the state,and crush us at a blow?
All the armies of Universal, Six Flags and Knottsberry Farm combined could not by force, take a drink from our water fountains, or make a track on the Matterhorn, in the campgrounds of Thousand Trails.
At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected?
I answer: that if it ever reaches us, it must spring from amongst us; it cannot come from one of that crowd. If destruction be our lot, Disneyland management itself, must be its author and finisher. As a collection of fee-paying guests, we must live through all ticket price increases, or die by Mousercise.
Let reverence for Disneyland be breathed by every American MILF, to the lisping babe that prattles in the audience of Aladdin. Let it be taught in the park tours, in the Haunted Mansion cemetery, and in the Storybook Land cottages. Let it be written in park maps, in guide books and by Kevin Yee. Let it be preached on the internet, proclaimed in City Hall, and enforced in the Random Court of Mice Chat. And in short, let it become the holiday destination of the nation. And let the old and the young,the rich but not the poor, the straight and the gay, of all sexes, and tongues and colors and conditions, financially sacrifice unceasingly at its ticket booths and stores.
And let us strive to deserve, as far as mortals may, the continued care of Walt’s Providence.Trusting that, in future new attraction rumors, He will not fail to provide us the instruments of excitement and then eventual crushing disappointment. Neither let us be slandered from our duty by false accusations of geekiness against us, nor frightened from it by the accusations that it is over-priced and (you know) for kids, nor of dungeons in Pirates of the Caribbean.
Let us have faith in the House of Mouse, and in that faith, let us, to the end, dare to queue for two hours for Star Tours as we understand it.