I had a female skipper last March that was cracking me up. She pointed out the Indian chief and said something about losing her boyfriend at a dinner with the chief and then finished with, "just kidding... I don't have a boyfriend." When everyone laughed at the joke she went back over the mic and thanked us for laughing at her for being single. It was hilarious.
I've only heard this one a few times, but it's at the hippo pool before the 'charging' hippo and the shots to scare it away: the skipper says sometimes, if you're quiet, and listen closely, you can hear a baby hippo calling for it's mother. A few beats of silence, skipper says nothing, then yells: "HEY MA!" near the microphone. If done properly, it's hilarious.
Baby elephant at the end of the ride.
Skipper talking about the water coming out of it's trunk.
"You may think it's water, but it' S not"
"We are now heading towards head-hunter territory and folks that's always a great place to be headed."
Did she have a Southern accent? The skipper I had this fall was a hilarious young woman with a Southern accent, who told the same joke. She was easily the best skip I've ever sailed with.Originally Posted by DrFink
I've always had a soft spot for Dr.Albert Falls.
It's been a loooong time since I was at the park but I remember one stupid joke from the waiting area, an announcement came over the speaker that the JC waiting area had a great collection of venomous snakes on display while we waited. They were located in the thatching over our heads.
Don't know why I remember that.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
oh I remember that. they were basically saying they had 81 of the 92 venomous snake species of the jungle and they just so happen to be perched on the rafters of the building. Don't worry they only attack non moving prey so if we keep the line moving you'll all be fine. if the line stops then just jog in place.
"This elefant to the left is the 2nd most feared animal in the jungle and the one to the right is the most feared animal. His mother-in-law."
Or if in the hippo pool: "Already I am going to scare them off...shoo...shoo (while waving the gun and pusing away) or "...(yelling) bang...bang"
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I have only hear this one once many years ago. An the skipper's timing was perfect on delivering these lines:
As soon as the headhunters jump up an start to yell the skipper waves her hand and says. "This is not the boat you are looking for..... Now turn.... Now crouch back and hide in the jungle."
Oh, look, those lions are enjoying a family meal. You know, the tough thing about Zebra is it's like: lightmeatdarkmeatlightmeatdarkmeat. *sigh* such a pain to carve.
I always enjoy the "If you had fun my name is Mark, if you didnt, my name is Susan and thank you for riding Star Tours!"
As the boat departs...
" I will be your skipper for the next seven days and 4 romantic nights"
"Maybe the definition of home is the place where you are never forgiven, so you may always belong there, bound my guilt. And maybe the cost of belonging is worth it."
Let's not forget looking at the backside of water
"Say goodbye to the people on the dock. You'll never see them again. It probably doesn't bother you too much, since you've never seen them before."
"There's a pride of lions eating a zebra. It shows how stupid zebras are. They're all standing around in line to see who's next."
As you enter the elephant bathing pool: "Folks, this is almost unheard of."
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