"Ahead of us is beautiful Schweitzer Falls, named after the famous explorer, Dr. Falls. Don't worry. We'll go over that later."
"Feel free to take pictures. They've all got their trunks on."
A recent cruise was one of the best I've ever seen, on a cruise with mostly college guys. On WDW's Jungle Cruise, we have a short indoor segment that goes through a temple with snakes and monkeys. As we approached the tunnel, the skipper said "I don't know R2, what do you think? Should we go in?" He then placed his microphone up to the loudspeaker, which created a loud squeaky feedback that sounded a lot like R2-D2, and then said "You're right... I've got a bad feeling about this."
Here's another one for Pokemon fans, the same cruise (great skipper). As we approached the elephant that roars twice, he said "I've got this elephant trained really well, watch this. Hey, speak!" (Elephant roars) "LOUDER!" (roars again) "Okay, SPLASH!" Then everyone in the boat flinched in panic, and the skipper laughed and said "I'm just kidding... he doesn't learn that til level 15."
"It's not the hippos in the water that you have to worry about... It's the ones in the trees!!" *BANG! BANG!*
Watch out! Ginger snaps!
(The part with the gorillas and the tipped over jeep) "Look what those gorillas did! They left the headlights on!"
"I parked my car up here. (sees overturned jeep with apes on it) That's horrible! They left the lights on! How will I ever get it to turn over? Luckily I have triple-ape."
A late-night trip with just a few adults in the boat. (After the skipper fired the gun several times) "Does everything look better now? Everything looks better after a couple of shots."
Up ahead is our pet snake, Monty. (pause) Monty is a python.
Oh! My favorite! "There's old Trader Sam, head salesman of the area. Business has been shrinking lately, so this week only, Sam's offering a two-for-one special: two of his, for one of yours!"
"The Bengal tiger can jump over 40,000 feet... out of a 747."
"Sam, your wife makes a great stew."
"Yeah, but I'm sure going to miss her."
"See that rock over there? It's really limestone, but most people just take it for granite."
At Boarding: "Everyone step on in and move up. What you call personal space, we call room for 10 more."
At Disneyland The queue for Indiana Jones hugs the shore of the Jungle Cruise. The skippers come up with some funny stuff to comment on the people waiting in line.
Look here we have a bunch a very strange jungle species, ya see that one there [pointing to a male] the one with the wider hips--that's the female of the species.
Look here we have a bunch of Asian albino hairless apes. Ya watch [waves to people, they wave back] monkey see, monkey do.
Over there is what we call the Indiana Jones Adventure and the Temple of the Four Hour/Forever Line.
Over there is the Temple of the Forbidden Eye. You can see all of the archeologists in line, cleverly disguised as tourists.
Over there is the world's most popular bathroom. You can tell how popular it is by all of the people in line for it. Let's ask these folks coming out what they thought of it...How was it?