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  1. #31

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    Quote Originally Posted by Witches of Morva View Post
    ORWEN: Well, this subject has taught me a good lesson. Next time I'm tempted to think badly about somebody who appears to be healthier than they really are, I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt. Let God judge them instead of me.
    This works best, I think.

  2. #32

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    Sometimes it's threads like this one that make us remember that everyone is differently abled and that issues may not appear on the surface. I honestly try to just enjoy myself completely at the DLR and not get bothered by other people, I certainly wouldn't make any judgements on anyone being able to walk around the resort it's a lot of walking and as I get older it gets harder and harder to walk around. Empathy is an emotion that sadly way too many people on this planet don't have. And whatever happened to the golden rules? She made a snide comment about someone else, I wonder how she'd take a snide comment back?

  3. #33

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    And just an observation: If you try to broach the subject politely with the person and you get hit with a blast of "How DARE you question me?" - they're probably faking it. "Methinks you protesteth too much." If they say "Knees" and keep going, it's probably legit.

    Thats the time you seek out an authority that has the right to question their claims - Disneyland Security or the local Police if they're in a public Handicap parking space with a hinky looking permit, and let them know of your concerns.
    There's No Place Like 127.0.0.1

  4. #34

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    I have adopted the practice of automatically assuming that everyone else in the world is vastly inferior to myself; being confident in this belief allows me to graciously make allowances for the shocking amount of imperfections and aberration I see in others.

    It has made me a much more considerate and caring person, sort of.

    It appears from the original post, however, that not everyone is as enlightened as I am, clearly.

    Too bad about the overheard comments--that's rough. Keep your chin up, and all that nonsense. Laugh it off if you can. If you can't, consider revenge.

  5. #35

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    My wife has a couple of not very visible disabilities and she worries about this all the time. Rarely does she need a consideration, but when it gets bad and she has to make a request of some sort, or use a wheelchair, she hates that there are people out there who without knowing will judge others, vocally even.

    Unless it is painfully obvious (group of teenagers/college kids taking turns running around with each other in a wheel chair, yup... seen that), then I assume they have a legitimate need.

    Our revels now are ended. These our actors, As I foretold you, were all spirits and Are melted into air, into thin air: And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces, The solemn temples, the great globe itself, Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff As dreams are made on, and our little life Is rounded with a sleep. mycroft16 on Twitter

  6. #36

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    Quote Originally Posted by fo'c's'le swab View Post
    I have adopted the practice of automatically assuming that everyone else in the world is vastly inferior to myself; being confident in this belief allows me to graciously make allowances for the shocking amount of imperfections and aberration I see in others.

    It has made me a much more considerate and caring person, sort of.

    It appears from the original post, however, that not everyone is as enlightened as I am, clearly.

    Too bad about the overheard comments--that's rough. Keep your chin up, and all that nonsense. Laugh it off if you can. If you can't, consider revenge.
    Hugs... but what happens when two of this type meet? I guess just don't cross the streams..
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  7. #37

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    Quote Originally Posted by fo'c's'le swab View Post
    I have adopted the practice of automatically assuming that everyone else in the world is vastly inferior to myself; being confident in this belief allows me to graciously make allowances for the shocking amount of imperfections and aberration I see in others.

    Ahh yasss, 'noblesse oblige'. Works quite well. Just don't walk away doing the 'royal head nod + royal wave'. I've tried it. I looked silly.
    "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.​"

  8. #38

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bruce Bergman View Post
    And just an observation: If you try to broach the subject politely with the person and you get hit with a blast of "How DARE you question me?" - they're probably faking it. "Methinks you protesteth too much." If they say "Knees" and keep going, it's probably legit.
    Not necessarily. I broke a bone in my foot once and due to the location of the bone and break did not have a cast. I was on crutches with no cast and no wrapped ankle and some people asked me why I was on crutches and I got tired of explaining so sometimes I didn't. That didn't make my injury any less real.

  9. #39

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bruce Bergman View Post
    And just an observation: If you try to broach the subject politely with the person and you get hit with a blast of "How DARE you question me?" - they're probably faking it. "Methinks you protesteth too much." If they say "Knees" and keep going, it's probably legit.
    Quote Originally Posted by kirstenh View Post
    Not necessarily. I broke a bone in my foot once and due to the location of the bone and break did not have a cast. I was on crutches with no cast and no wrapped ankle and some people asked me why I was on crutches and I got tired of explaining so sometimes I didn't. That didn't make my injury any less real.
    "Tired of explaining" is not the same as the people who come absolutely unglued at the person who asks what their disability is. Those are the ones who are faking it. The more anger, the more likely they're faking. People with true needs tend not to be nearly that angry; maybe when first diagnosed or something, but it's more usual that they know they have an actual need. No need to get defensive.
    I pledge allegiance to the Earth, one planet, many gods, and to the universe in which she spins.

  10. #40

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    Quote Originally Posted by Malina View Post
    Yesterday I had a negative experience at the Animation Academy, of all places, that I need to vent about.

    As I have mentioned before, I have some orthopedic issues that make climbing or descending stairs unsafe for me. In the Animation Academy, where there are wide stairs with no banisters, even more so. I always politely explain to the CM at the door, as I walk in, that I have issues with stairs and ask to sit in the back row.

    So, yesterday, same thing. I approached the CM, very quietly and politely explained things and asked her if I could sit in the back row. She said yes.

    However...I couldn't help but hear (and I think they meant me to hear...) a nearby guest who apparently overheard me. She immediately started sucking her teeth and making comments about "fake disabilities" to her companions. Both the CM and I ignored her and I went to my seat, but it stuck with me.

    No, I don't look disabled at all. I look damn healthy, in fact. I can do just about anything. I wait on lines like everyone else. The reason steps specifically are problematic is because of the way they put pressure on my knees, which are very unstable, and tend to buckle without warning. By looking at me there's no way to see that I have medical issues. It doesn't mean they aren't there.

    It just bothers me to no end, that in a situation like this, there would be negative commentary. I'd waited just as everyone else had waited. I was on my own so I obviously wasn't trying to get a group of people in with me. I was asking to sit in the bloody back row, farthest from the screen, in a room where there were plenty of available seats in every other row for everyone...and someone still resented that.

    And yes, I get that scam artists are out there. I know they've made things difficult for everyone, to the point where they necessitated the overhaul of the disabled access system at Disney parks. My plea, though, is again to please, please remember that some of us really do have hidden challenges, and that the "healthy" person you see might be dealing with something you can't see. They do not need to hear nasty comments as they try to enjoy their day at Disneyland. Right?
    Why were the back row seats all bloody? Did you kill someone while you were back there??

  11. #41

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    Quote Originally Posted by alphabassetgrrl View Post
    "Tired of explaining" is not the same as the people who come absolutely unglued at the person who asks what their disability is. Those are the ones who are faking it. The more anger, the more likely they're faking. People with true needs tend not to be nearly that angry; maybe when first diagnosed or something, but it's more usual that they know they have an actual need. No need to get defensive.
    My mom had her ankle re-attached when she was 15. To date she has had over 40 surgeries, including one where doctors pounded a 6 inch metal rod up into her heel. Her foot is fused, it doesn't move it all. I've watched people stare at her and say mean things when she parked in the handicapped space my whole life and eventually she grew tired of it. People aren't nice about it...so why should someone who has been through it over and over again have to be nice and explain what is wrong with them? Especially when its none of anyone's business.

    Or take my best friend who had endometriosis - she is so embarrassed by it that when she went to get a DAS (Which was granted to her with no issues btw) she asked to speak with the cast member in private. Endometriosis is one of those "invisible illnesses" and you can bet she has been harassed about it before but she's not going to come out and say whats wrong with her just to please a stranger.

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  12. #42

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bruce Bergman View Post
    You have to assume there's a legit reason - unless they refute it themselves. Like the kids at the Park telling their friend "Hey, renting a wheelchair was a great idea! We cut an hour off the wait! Now swap off, and I'll push you to the next ride..."

    Willpower is: Not going over there, punching them both out, and confiscating the wheelchair.

    Same thing with finding out half the UCLA and USC Football Team has fake HCA Placards for their cars. And a lot of Limo Drivers have them, too.

    --<< Bruce >>--
    I remember that. It was at UCLA though.

    I agree though. It's very sad when a few bad eggs spoil it for others…others who really are differently abled (I like that phrasing) and do need assistance in one way or another.

    It's very hard to ignore what others say and think….easier said than done.

    Just consider the source though. You know your needs. They're clueless. Best to try and ignore it the best you can.
    Last edited by CASurfer65; 01-20-2014 at 07:18 PM.

  13. #43

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    No, you don't owe anybody an explanation when they make comments, but the reactions are different from someone who's scamming. The scammers will make sure everybody within earshot knows their "problem." As often as possible, probably. And that everybody knows how insulted they are. Making a big scene.

    I don't think people who have an actual issue and need for accommodation will have the same level of making a scene. Speaking with a CM in private? Yes, when you know you're in the right. Not so good if you're a scammer.
    I pledge allegiance to the Earth, one planet, many gods, and to the universe in which she spins.

  14. #44

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bruce Bergman View Post
    And just an observation: If you try to broach the subject politely with the person and you get hit with a blast of "How DARE you question me?" - they're probably faking it. "Methinks you protesteth too much." If they say "Knees" and keep going, it's probably legit.

    Thats the time you seek out an authority that has the right to question their claims - Disneyland Security or the local Police if they're in a public Handicap parking space with a hinky looking permit, and let them know of your concerns.
    I have to say I don't quite understand the logic of this. At least the Disneyland security part. What could they possibly do to verify the DAS was received for proper reasons? Or that the person has a legitimate medical issue of some kind? And if your litmus test happened to be wrong, and they weren't faking it, now they have to stop and explain everything to security. That would really make their day at the park fun. Would the OP have been better of if instead of a rude comment he had security called on him?

    I get that we don't like to see people get away with things (and I get that the OP wasn't even getting any special benefit at all in that particular case), but I would think that the whole point of this thread is that it's best to just give them the benefit of the doubt.
    Last edited by Steveman; 01-20-2014 at 08:16 PM.

  15. #45

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    Re: Nasty comments to disabled guests, from other guests.

    Quote Originally Posted by alphabassetgrrl View Post
    No, you don't owe anybody an explanation when they make comments, but the reactions are different from someone who's scamming. The scammers will make sure everybody within earshot knows their "problem." As often as possible, probably. And that everybody knows how insulted they are. Making a big scene.

    I don't think people who have an actual issue and need for accommodation will have the same level of making a scene. Speaking with a CM in private? Yes, when you know you're in the right. Not so good if you're a scammer.
    I do agree with this. I don't see a need to explain myself to anyone who asks, but I wouldn't lose my temper about it.

    I think my response to someone's questions would very much depend on the spirit and context in which they were asked. If a CM told me "I need you to elaborate" after I asked for disabled ride loading/etc. I would be absolutely happy to do so. I always have my doctor's note with me, and I wouldn't think twice about showing it to a CM, or giving City Hall my doctor's phone number to call and verify, or whatever they needed. I'm not saying they would, I know there are privacy ADA issues that come into play there, but I'd be glad to verify my condition if asked to do so. And that holds true in any situation where there's a need to know - ie at a subway station where I need the elevator instead of the steps, or at work where I need the same. I have no issue saying what is going on.

    I've also been happy to answer questions from strangers from time to time. For a while I had to wear a monster knee brace that looked like something out of a science fiction story, and I did get asked about it - often from small children who were curious. I didn't mind giving them a brief explanation. Sometimes they're asking because they/their partner/their kid/their friend/etc. went through something that may have looked similar, and they want to compare notes or offer encouragement.

    However, if I were on a queue at Disneyland and a random stranger, who had no involvement in the situation, demanded to know why I was in the disabled queue, or needed to sit in the back row, I would be very tempted to tell them to kindly mind their own business. Because it's not their concern and I'm not obligated to tell them about myself. I wouldn't lose my temper but I'd probably say something like "and why do you need to know that?"
    Last edited by Malina; 01-20-2014 at 09:23 PM.

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