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  1. #31

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    Perfect use of synergy that would infuse areas like Tomorrowland. I agree with the effect that Innovations would have with a push from Apple, could be very "futuristic" (Wow, what a concept...a futuristic view of the world in Tomorrowland!)

    Hmmm...I also like the idea of not having as many "shut downs" of the attractions while they are in use, at least not from a "computer glich" standpoint.

    Imagine what DCA could be like with a little Cupertino influence. We could have Internet Cafe's here and there. To get things rolling at California Screamin'... you could get the yelling started by flashing pictures of new products that are coming out on overhead monitors! Shouts of joy for 3.5 ghz Dual Processors G5's, full and easy documentation for Final Cut Pro HD being released by Apple, Bill Gates bowing before Steve Jobs....you get the picture .
    "...and you'll want to stow away cameras, purses, hats, and of course...these little
    beauties!"

  2. #32

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    I agree it would be interesting to see what Steve Jobs would do with Tomorrowland, but not DCA.

    "This guy!"

  3. #33

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    In the Steve Jobs Disneyland you couldn't trade pins legally either. Each pin would have a tiny lock on the back. They would have to live only in your iPin collection from the iPin store. Anyone caught illegally sharing pins would be branded an iPrick.
    "As usual he's taken over the coolest spot in the house"- Father re: Orville 1963

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  4. #34

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cousin Orville
    Anyone caught illegally sharing pins would be branded an iPrick.
    Oh my!

  5. #35

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    Quote Originally Posted by PumpkinKing!
    I agree it would be interesting to see what Steve Jobs would do with Tomorrowland, but not DCA.
    The future is colored plastic. With pinstripes. And it only ships with 256MB of RAM by default when you need at least 512 to really do anything.

  6. #36

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    the carousel of progress would return as a 20 second attraction and would feature the startup *dooong* noise as it progressed, through its stringy orchestra years, circling around its current, more technological *dooong*

    Cast member instructions would be converted into a collection of reduced instruction sets rather than condensed complex instructions(nerd joke)

    You'd have the option of going into a small dark room with a fan blowing on you and various flashlights turned on and off in your eyes if you choose to ride SpaceMountain Mini.

    Everyone from MicrosoftWorld(over in Orlando) would complain about not having anything fun to do at Appleland other than a jigsaw puzzle, unable to remove their own blindfold and realize their are other games and attractions offered.

  7. #37

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    They could even bring back the ticket booklets. An iTicket would get you on any Fantasyland dark ride, but Indy for instance would be a definite PowerTicket deal. A cheap eTicket would suffice for DCA. *Mac nerd humor*

  8. #38

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    Quote Originally Posted by almandot
    the carousel of progress would return as a 20 second attraction and would feature the startup *dooong* noise as it progressed, through its stringy orchestra years, circling around its current, more technological *dooong*
    I actually think a Carousel of Mac Progress would be great, if it were brutally honest.

    WARNING: Long post!! But after this script, I don't think anyone can deny that I'm a long-time Mac user. Love the product, hate the company.

    *begin dream sequence*

    LOCATION: Carousel Theater

    *The room spins. As the theater stops, you appear to be looking at a mid 1980s computer convention. A Macintosh 512 (aka Fat Mac) is on display. STEVE JOBS is displaying this machine to a CROWD of people. Everyone is an audio-animatronic.*

    JOBS: ...And that's how Macintosh makes it easier, simplifying the technical aspects and staying out of your way while you get your work done.
    CROWD: *assorted oohs and ahhs*
    JOBS: You have a question? Back there? Yes, you.

    * A MAN in the crowd rises up. He is wearing an unattractive t shirt, sporting a bad haircut, and wearing thick glasses. He is the TECHIE STEREOTYPE personified.*

    MAN: Excuse me for bringing this up, but can users upgrade the hardware in this model? Your voided the warranty of anyone with a previous Macintosh that tried.
    JOBS: Oh, yes. Well, this model is no different. We don't believe, however, that there's a need to upgrade this model because it comes with 512 kilobytes of memory and that should work to solve anything you ne...
    MAN: *interrupting* Can I use my IBM-PC keyboard?
    JOBS: No.
    MAN: How about a PS/2 mouse?
    JOBS: Er, no.. This computer uses a mouse with a connector that we developed, it's incompatable with..
    MAN: If I took the hard drive out of my old computer...
    JOBS (angry): No! SHUT UP!

    *the room begins to shift to a new scene, as it does, a song plays through the theater sound system*

    It's a great big product line of Apples,
    Getting more confusing everyday,
    And when you go and buy a new one,
    Tomorrow, that model's gone away!
    We'll take someone's idea,
    it's quite an art,
    From IBM, to Xerox PARC.
    And by the time Steve distorts reality,
    You'll think we invented everything!
    Oh, it's a great big messy world of Apples,
    And with your help, you can make it stay,
    For even when we bring out a bad product,
    We know you'll buy it, anyway!


    *The scene is now sometime in the 1990s. The internet boom has not taken off yet, but online connectivity still exists. The scene on display is an Apple Dealer, as a family looks over some boxy Mac LCs*

    SALESMAN: If what you're looking for is a kind of machine for your son to do his homework, and you want the additional features of today's machines, this is probably your best bet, price-wise.
    MOM: Well, Jimmy, do you like it?
    *Young JIMMY is enthusiastically browsing through the Applications*
    JIMMY: Wow, Mom! It has a color screen and can play the new Carmen Sandiego! This is way cooler than the SE!
    DAD: That's what progress is all about, son.

    *In the background, PARAMEDICS carry a STRANGER out on a stretcher. He has passed out from seeing the PRICETAG on a MAC PORTABLE, which is higher than some new cars.*

    SALESMAN: Now, I want to warn you, the monitor doesn't come with this.
    DAD: How much is that?
    SALESMAN: Well, if you want to look over there you can see our selection.

    *A variety of APPLE MONITORS sit on display on the opposite wall*

    MOM: Oh, my. Do you have one like the kind they would use at school?
    SALESMAN: That one on the left is likely the monitor he uses at school.
    DAD: Huh. Well, I guess we'll just have to get that display that's on sale on our way home.
    SALESMAN: Actually, you can't. Macs don't have the same connection in back as PC does, so you have to buy an Apple monitor. Well, actually, you could buy a Radius monitor instead, but they're priced even higher.
    DAD: Well..... What else can I not change?

    *From out of nowhere appears the TECHIE STEREOTYPE from the previous segment. He is older now, and though he still has an awful haircut, his HAIRLINE is receeding*

    TECHIE: On this machine? The monitor can only work with monitors with Apple plugs, the keyboard and mouse use special Apple plugs, the hard drive must be a special Apple or Apple-approved hard drive, the memory is just special enough that you can't buy memory from just anywhere, and the printer and modem connections are special Apple connections that are just like the..
    SALESMAN: SHUT UP!

    *TECHIE disappears*

    SALESMAN: Now, if you'd like this one, I can print up a receipt for you at the desk.
    DAD: *sigh*... Well, all right. I'll buy it. After all, that's just the cost of progress.
    SALESMAN: You'll have to wait a minute for the receipt to print.

    *The SALESMAN begins to print up a receipt. To the shock and horror of the assembled audience, he is using a STYLEWRITER. As the inkjet printer sluggishly churns out pages of simple black and white text that should never take so long to be produced, a CAST MEMBER invites the audience to a STRATEGICALLY PLACED SNACK SHOP, so that everyone may purchase an intermission treat at the convenient "Daisy's Wheel Cafe." The audience ponies up as the StyleWriter prints for what feels like forever.*

    *Finally, when all the trash is dumped and the pages wring through the printer, the Carousel starts moving again, and the song plays over the speakers.*

    *An older family with a 17 year old are in their LIVING ROOM, which is the stage setting. It appears to be close to modern times, although somewhat slightly into the future. The son is at a computer desk, with a variety of gadgets. He has an IPOD, a USB PRINTER, and some ugly mass that may be a COMPUTER. It is a mishmash of brushed steel and colored plastic, and a flourscant-colored Apple logo shines from the front. People from some walks of life may consider it ugly, but those without TASTE may consider it TRENDY or COOL.*

    SON: Boy, Dad, I used to laugh when you talked about progress. I didn't think our lives could get any better than they already are. But thanks to Apple, progress really does happen!

    DAD: Really? And what kind of progress?

    SON: Well, it used to be that our computer was beige, and now it's... Uh.... Not beige! That's progress!

    DAD: Well, maybe, that's progress, but is it really making your life easier? Think deeper, son.

    SON: Oh! My iPod! I don't know how I would have managed my old CDs without it. Thank goodness that Apple innovated the world's first MP3 player!

    *EVERYONE on stage sits in complete silence for one moment. Nobody seems to acknowledge the FACTUAL ERROR in that statement.*

    DAD: Well, that's certainly progress. But look beyond that and see how progress lets you do things today you couldn't do years ago. You can open up your computer and add parts to it. It seems like just yesterday I was looking at a Fat Mac and someone told me that they didn't allow you to get inside it at all.

    SON: No way!

    DAD: It's true. Plus, your printer is a USB standard compatable with both Mac and PC, your monitor uses the VGA standard, your keyboard and mouse are USB, and the gigabyte of memory we added last week came out of your old PC.

    SON: I never thought about that.

    DAD: But it's there, and it's progress. Sometimes, all it takes is a CEO to pull his head out from the clouds and embrace industry standards rather than try to make up his own. That makes progress happen faster than ever! Now, I want to watch some TV, so you email that person selling the car you want and ask him how much he wants for it, okay?

    *As the SON returns to the computer, DAD turns on a BIG SCREEN TV and watches a financial channel.*

    ANCHOR: Steve Jobs today introduced an upgrade to the Apple iMac line at today's MacWorld Expo. Jobs later fielded questions from the audience about the new product, including this inquiry about the computer's graphical muscle.

    *A clip begins. JOBS is standing at the podium. A man in the audience stands up. He is wearing an ugly shirt, and may have had a bad haircut had MALE PATTERN BALDNESS not deprived him of the oppertunity.*

    TECHIE: In your speech, you mentioned this computer's graphics are driven by an AGP graphics card. Are these AGP cards identical to the ones most consumers see in stores?
    JOBS: No. They need a special Mac BIOS that's been flashed on the firmware at the factory. The graphics card you see at your local big box chain won't work.
    TECHIE: So, I can't take advantage of most of the emerging video card technology, unless that manufacturer decides to make a Mac version, which may or may not be priced similarly to...
    JOBS *angry*: SHUT UP!

    * The room spins towards the exit, the music chimes in*

    It's a great big world of flashy Apples
    Visit a store today!
    Last edited by MickeyMania; 04-01-2005 at 06:34 AM.

  9. #39

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    Quote Originally Posted by MickeyMania
    I actually think a Carousel of Mac Progress would be great, if it were brutally honest.

    It's a great big product line of Apples,
    Getting more confusing everyday,
    And when you go and buy a new one,
    Tomorrow, that model's gone away!
    We'll take someone's idea,
    it's quite an art,
    From IBM, to Xerox PARC.
    And by the time Steve distorts reality,
    You'll think we invented everything!
    Oh, it's a great big messy world of Apples,
    And with your help, you can make it stay,
    For even when we bring out a bad product,
    We know you'll buy it, anyway!


    [/i]

    WOW! Brilliant. And my sentiments exactly. Love the products way more than the predatory aspects of the company. I have 5 macs and can't go in that store without dumping more cash in their hands, knowing all the while their formatic arrogance. Love that.. and the song is genius. Someone will give you bad rep for this.. hold on to your hat.
    "As usual he's taken over the coolest spot in the house"- Father re: Orville 1963

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  10. #40

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    Poor Steve!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cousin Orville
    WOW! Brilliant. And my sentiments exactly. Love the products way more than the predatory aspects of the company. I have 5 macs and can't go in that store without dumping more cash in their hands, knowing all the while their formatic arrogance. Love that.. and the song is genius. Someone will give you bad rep for this.. hold on to your hat.
    You guys are being a little too hard on Steve Jobs. If it weren't for him, we'd be at the Microsoft Gates of Hell! I know you guys love the Mac, but hate Apple. Steve's only been back at Apple for eight years and look at how much things have improved. Apple has been pushing for Open Standards versus Microsoft's proprietary standards.

    True Steve is a little nutty, and he's done some really bizare things that make him legendary. Overall, the contribution that he has made to advancing technology is the important part. Think of how little Microsoft has advanced the industry since 2001 or earlier. Steve is the only CEO of a big tech company that is not in contraction mode.

  11. #41

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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperDisneyDad
    You guys are being a little too hard on Steve Jobs.
    It's not all Steve's fault. John Sculley really screwed the pooch, too. Thanks to him we had some of the bad products mentioned above, abominations like the first Netwon and Quadra IIvx that were simply rushed too hard, and Mac II-series that had their bus speeds intentionally cramped down to keep them from competing too well against higher priced systems.

    If it weren't for him, we'd be at the Microsoft Gates of Hell!
    Actually, this is part of the attitude I tried to address in my post. Only in recent years is Apple really moving forward, thanks to OS X. Previous Mac OS was a pain (extensions? rebuilding the desktop?) that relied on it's point-n-click interface like a crutch. And they didn't even invent that, contrary to popular opinion. Xerox PARC did. The iPod isn't the first MP3 player either, but I see that mis-statement everywhere.

    I may be wrong, but I believe it's either because Apple marketing is so darn good or because their most dedicated fans spread misinformation from time to time, or maybe a little of both.

    Still, you can't please everyone. That was the point of my little jab at the end, that they've progressed so far and yet some people will always say they haven't come far enough.

    Steve's only been back at Apple for eight years and look at how much things have improved. Apple has been pushing for Open Standards versus Microsoft's proprietary standards.
    They have made steps in the right direction that have helped the Mac users they have (including me!) but it's not always that way. Example of HUGE importance that appeared recently: Apple's been keeping their AAC/FairPlay DRM exclusive to iPod so that they can continue to monopolize MP3 players, refusing to play along with anybody else.

    I say that's huge because it's a place where Apple's position is really important, and they're acting like Microsoft would.

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