My source (the same guy Jim Hill uses) wrote me this e-mail.
There you have it, and it's all true*Originally Posted by Sherlly Jo KingThe thing you have to understand, Tee-Gel, is that teenagers just don't like Disneyland anymore. Teenagers only make up around 1/5th of Disneyland's daily total attendance, while at other parks, such as Six Flags or Daytona Beach, teens account for more than 50%. So, to remedy this we are going to take these ten songs that Disney management feels today's youth will find swinging and implement them into the Space Mountain. They will be played randomly with their own lighting and audio effects.
1. A pirates life for me Due to the fact that they are eliminating this song from Pirates completely, it will continue to live in Rockit Mountain. You will hear cannon balls buzz past your head as you chase wenches for food. Just food.
2. Don't you (Forget About Me) In this rendition of Rockit Mountain, each seat will have a stereotype, A princess, a jock, a brain, a basket case, and a criminal. By the end of the ride (and SFX to replicate blunt smokage) all the stereotypes will be friends.
3. Muh-na-na-na Real muppets will pop up to act out this scene throughout the ride. Dang it, you WILL love the Muppets.
4. Nuthin but a G Thang Want to experience popping a cap in some fellas hiney? This version will feature BLAB style guns. Represent the west si-ied
5. Sing, Sing, Sing aka The Chips Ahoy song That's right. We are bringing back the cookie asteroids, bet you bite a chip!
6. Another Brick in the Wall A few years ago a group of "Imagineers" took a trip to Six Flags and saw a ton of shirts with this song title air brushed on. I don't know what it's about, but this version of Rockit Mountain will have laser show type brick walls.
7. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm We want YOU to be The Crash Test Dummies.
8. In the Year 2525 (Exordium & Terminus) If you can survive Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies Everything you think, do, or say is in the pill you took today. Doesn't that sound like fun?
9. It's the End of the World as we know it. Since Disney uses this song for anything slightly futuristic anyway, we are gonna use it here. SFX include a Mount St. Edelite Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs. Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic, slam, but neck, right? Right. Oh, and there will be loop on this version.
10. Can You Feel the Love Tonight Due to the changing of the Matterhorn's cars to a more non-molesting version. In order for teens to have a place to get up close and personal with a lusted one the bobsled cars will be placed in Rockit Mountain equipped with speakers that will play this song while hearts and junk swirl through the cosmos. During re-entry there will be a frank and honest discussion on sex and responsibility.
*these statments have not been verified by the FDA, FICA, USA, BYU, TDA, TJL, or the NAACP.