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  1. #1

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    Stroller Derby-a Utah Journalists DL Trip

    This is an article by the funny and talented Robert Kirby, a Utah journalist, about his recent Disneyland Trip. I thought you might like it!


    Stroller Derby in Disneyland by Robert Kirby

    My granddaughter finally got to see Cinderella in Disneyland. We almost didn't make it, though. There was a stroller pileup outside Critter Country.

    Seems a triple-wide tried to pass a tandem rig on the right and cut off a double-decker. Formula, diapers and juice boxes were all over the place. Purple-faced drivers were going for each other's hair.

    The proper thing to do would have been to stop and help sort things out. But it was our third day at Disneyland and stroller rage didn't impress us anymore. We got past on the shoulder.
    I'm not sure when baby strollers became high-occupancy vehicles. I do know they don't work well in crowds, not that this stops sock-your moms from trying. At Disneyland, it was worth your life to stop short in front of one.

    My children's first stroller was good old-fashioned Detroit rolling iron. It weighed 90 pounds, had plastic wheels, a bit of foam rubber padding and a wire cage for supplies. We almost bought a wheelbarrow instead.

    Onboard baby buggy technology in those days was three colored beads strung on a wire, an abacus so simple it was insulting even to toddlers.

    Strollers today are tour buses by comparison. They're made of high-impact polymers and feature cup holders, defrosters and global satellite positioning. Some have eight-wheel drive.
    A tricked-out pram in Mickey's Toontown had - I'm not lying - a DVD player built into it. I had to ask. Mom and Dad said they drove it off the lot for $950 and felt bad because they couldn't afford the luxury model.

    Strollers this nice may be a comfort to the ones riding and maybe even the ones pushing, but they have no business in heavy pedestrian areas without improved safety devices.
    Based on what I saw in Disneyland - sometimes from the safety of a lamppost - the most hazardous stroller is the tandem, or one kid riding behind another.

    The tandem poses a major collision hazard because it's the drive-by-feel method. Basically, the driver is in the back of the bus and therefore the last one to know what's happening.
    Add a third seat and the tandem stroller contraption is so cumbersome that mom looks like a monkey trying to work a rack of shopping carts back into a grocery store.

    The double- and triple-wide strollers are slightly better in terms of driver visibility but score rock bottom in driver courtesy. In this configuration the bus is being driven sideways.
    The double- and triple-wide strollers are almost impossible for speedier pedestrians to get around. And when three or four mommies start pushing their outfits shoulder-to-shoulder down a street it's a scene right out of Ben Hur.

    Even the single-occupancy stroller is a danger in the wrong hands.

    Unfortunately, after 10 hours of shuttling kids around the Magic Kingdom, there are plenty of those.

    Strollers today need turn signals, back-up beepers, rearview mirrors, air bags, gross weight restrictions, safety inspections, no-fault insurance and mandatory operator testing.

    The Happiest Place on Earth also needs an HOV lane.
    Disneyland Fan Since 1985

    Next Trip: July 6 for the Premier of Dead Man's Chest!!!!!!!!!!

  2. #2

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    Re: Stroller Derby-a Utah Journalists DL Trip

    Oi... Robert Kirby. lol
    St. Elizabeth, Patron Saint of Themed parks. Protect us from break downs, long lines, and used gum. Amen.

    "Dance like it hurts, love like you need money, and work when people are watching" - Dogbert





  3. #3

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    Re: Stroller Derby-a Utah Journalists DL Trip

    That was a great article and I think we have all lived it too.
    judimouse

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  4. #4

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    Re: Stroller Derby-a Utah Journalists DL Trip

    Man, that guy hit it right on the money. Nothing against strollers, but there is a difference between a "baby stroller" and some of those monstrosities that a kid could comfortably live in until college.

    If you elect me Mayor of Main Street, I will make both stroller licenses and insurance mandatory!

  5. #5

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    Re: Stroller Derby-a Utah Journalists DL Trip

    What ticks me off are strollers being pushed by people on cell phones! Hello, unless you're dialing 911 for running me over, get off da fone!


    This has been a Filmways presentation dahling.

  6. #6

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    Re: Stroller Derby-a Utah Journalists DL Trip

    Nice read!

    Thanks!

  7. #7

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    Re: Stroller Derby-a Utah Journalists DL Trip

    That article nailed it.

  8. #8

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    Re: Stroller Derby-a Utah Journalists DL Trip

    I thought it was funny. The whole time I was reading it in the paper I was going "yep. I hear ya buddy."
    Disneyland Fan Since 1985

    Next Trip: July 6 for the Premier of Dead Man's Chest!!!!!!!!!!

  9. #9

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    Re: Stroller Derby-a Utah Journalists DL Trip

    Quote Originally Posted by speederscout
    Man, that guy hit it right on the money. Nothing against strollers, but there is a difference between a "baby stroller" and some of those monstrosities that a kid could comfortably live in until college.
    Amen. The other day, I saw a group walking by with four adults each pushing one of the Disneyland strollers. As they passed, I overheard one woman commenting on how much easier it was to push the smaller, lighter stroller than one of the massive heavy ones. Honestly, I don't see how the giant strollers benefit anyone.

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