This is an article by the funny and talented Robert Kirby, a Utah journalist, about his recent Disneyland Trip. I thought you might like it!
Stroller Derby in Disneyland by Robert Kirby
My granddaughter finally got to see Cinderella in Disneyland. We almost didn't make it, though. There was a stroller pileup outside Critter Country.
Seems a triple-wide tried to pass a tandem rig on the right and cut off a double-decker. Formula, diapers and juice boxes were all over the place. Purple-faced drivers were going for each other's hair.
The proper thing to do would have been to stop and help sort things out. But it was our third day at Disneyland and stroller rage didn't impress us anymore. We got past on the shoulder.
I'm not sure when baby strollers became high-occupancy vehicles. I do know they don't work well in crowds, not that this stops sock-your moms from trying. At Disneyland, it was worth your life to stop short in front of one.
My children's first stroller was good old-fashioned Detroit rolling iron. It weighed 90 pounds, had plastic wheels, a bit of foam rubber padding and a wire cage for supplies. We almost bought a wheelbarrow instead.
Onboard baby buggy technology in those days was three colored beads strung on a wire, an abacus so simple it was insulting even to toddlers.
Strollers today are tour buses by comparison. They're made of high-impact polymers and feature cup holders, defrosters and global satellite positioning. Some have eight-wheel drive.
A tricked-out pram in Mickey's Toontown had - I'm not lying - a DVD player built into it. I had to ask. Mom and Dad said they drove it off the lot for $950 and felt bad because they couldn't afford the luxury model.
Strollers this nice may be a comfort to the ones riding and maybe even the ones pushing, but they have no business in heavy pedestrian areas without improved safety devices.
Based on what I saw in Disneyland - sometimes from the safety of a lamppost - the most hazardous stroller is the tandem, or one kid riding behind another.
The tandem poses a major collision hazard because it's the drive-by-feel method. Basically, the driver is in the back of the bus and therefore the last one to know what's happening.
Add a third seat and the tandem stroller contraption is so cumbersome that mom looks like a monkey trying to work a rack of shopping carts back into a grocery store.
The double- and triple-wide strollers are slightly better in terms of driver visibility but score rock bottom in driver courtesy. In this configuration the bus is being driven sideways.
The double- and triple-wide strollers are almost impossible for speedier pedestrians to get around. And when three or four mommies start pushing their outfits shoulder-to-shoulder down a street it's a scene right out of Ben Hur.
Even the single-occupancy stroller is a danger in the wrong hands.
Unfortunately, after 10 hours of shuttling kids around the Magic Kingdom, there are plenty of those.
Strollers today need turn signals, back-up beepers, rearview mirrors, air bags, gross weight restrictions, safety inspections, no-fault insurance and mandatory operator testing.
The Happiest Place on Earth also needs an HOV lane.