Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 16 to 30 of 59
  1. #16

    • Banned User
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    2,576

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by jepple
    I hope that was actually in your paper. I would have laughed out loud and called all my teachers friends if I was grading that.
    lol, no- that was for you guys.

  2. #17

    • Member
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    I'm scared of you sir.
    Posts
    218

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    "I" read "your" essay....

    Helpful hint, lay off the quotation marks. Unless you do that awful little two finger wave quote thing whenever you say a few words. Than go ahead.

    Also you sugar coated most of Walt's life. Where was the antisemitic Walt, and the power hungry brother?

  3. #18

    • Banned User
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    2,576

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by Lacrossedragon
    "I" read "your" essay....

    Helpful hint, lay off the quotation marks. Unless you do that awful little two finger wave quote thing whenever you say a few words. Than go ahead.

    Also you sugar coated most of Walt's life. Where was the antisemitic Walt, and the power hungry brother?
    It was a thesis ON Walt- I should have not even really talked about his brother at all since it wasn't what we were suppose to do. And yes, we HAD to quote every few measures because of the teacher.

    I don't need helpful hints, geez. It was the rules.

    I'm serious, why does everyone on this site have to tear things apart - just read it and enjoy it for what it is.

    (Note it was 19 pages long, and it was only suppose to be 5! So I really couldn't talk more about Roy than I did- would have liked too, but my teacher would have killed me!)

  4. #19

    • враг народа
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    14,164
    Blog Entries
    3

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    I didn't read the whole thing, as I wasn't really being presented with anything new to me. However, I must agree with Lacrossedragon, as what I read sounded like it came out of a Disney Editions book.

  5. #20

    • Banned User
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    2,576

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by lazyboy97O
    I didn't read the whole thing, as I wasn't really being presented with anything new to me. However, I must agree with Lacrossedragon, as what I read sounded like it came out of a Disney Editions book.
    No! I'm just a good writer. When you write a good essay on Walt, they are all going to sound the same - I went through basically each year of his life, that's why it sounds soo bookish.

  6. #21

    • Member
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    I'm scared of you sir.
    Posts
    218

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by A Disney Dreamer
    No! I'm just a good writer. When you write a good essay on Walt, they are all going to sound the same - I went through basically each year of his life, that's why it sounds soo bookish.
    Hey now, let's not get cocky here. I'm just giving you advice, the whole quote thing, jumbled grammar and one sided views does NOT go over well in college.

  7. #22

    • Look Right, Pick Up Phone
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    1,699

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    I don't think it's the fact that it sounds "bookish". I think what lacrossed and lazyboy were referring to is the fact that you basically gave the "happy" version of Walt's life, or at least shifted focus off of certain things. Basically, it sounds like a Disney Editions book because it is all in a rather positive light, rather than completely truthful.

  8. #23

    • враг народа
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    14,164
    Blog Entries
    3

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by A Disney Dreamer
    No! I'm just a good writer. When you write a good essay on Walt, they are all going to sound the same - I went through basically each year of his life, that's why it sounds soo bookish.
    I never said it sounded bookish. I said it sounded like something that would come froma Disney Editions. In which I ment it comes across as being the "magical" Walt Disney of lore that the PR guys at Disney want everybody to think Walt was, but really wasn't entirely.

    It sounds the same because you offer nothing different or new. I've read some pretty dry books in my time (Das Kapital anybody?) but I just got nothing new, different, or exciting. This is where editting comes into play, it's okay to just leave some aspects out.

  9. #24

    • Banned User
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    2,576

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by Lacrossedragon
    Hey now, let's not get cocky here. I'm just giving you advice, the whole quote thing, jumbled grammar and one sided views does NOT go over well in college.
    This isn't a college paper! And I'm NOT getting cocky, I just don't appreciate some one slamming my face in on a project I worked on for quite a few days.

    Yes, I would have liked to go further into detail about Walt and how creative he was and also about his brother. I wanted to talk about how Eisner screwed up DL during the 1990s, but I couldn't because like I said it was only to be 5 pages long.

    And yes, I fully agree with you on the quote thing- I hate doing that because it gets repetitive, but for this final, the teacher WANTED quotes (she would mark us down actually if we didn't have them in). Jumbled Grammar? I suppose it could be in a few places while I was transmitting it over to MC, and for the one viewed-sides, I agree, I sort of took the easy way out on that, but if I would talk about the other side, it would have added 10 more pages to an already way too long essay lol

    I liked the essay though, I agree it needs work and in my mean time I'll probably just add and add to it (want to actually). but this essay right now is perfect for my teacher.

    Thank you though for your suggestions (which I already knew )

  10. #25

    • Member
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    I'm scared of you sir.
    Posts
    218

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    You posted this on a board dude. Expect opinions. We're not all going to praise you for your unneeded post.
    Perfect for your teacher? He/she said 5 pages you wrote 19, how the hell is that perfect for your teacher? Do you really think she gives a flying F about 19 pages of Disney?
    I think we're ALL being nice with this one, understand that we're just trying to be polite. But also understand that you posted it on a public forum.

    Look, Disney was a genius okay, but not a divine God. It just annoys me that 99% of the stuff about him skips over his faults. I love Sigmund Freud and his writings, but I'll be the first to write about how messed up he really was (phallic/mother/etc).
    Last edited by Lacrossedragon; 05-26-2006 at 10:44 PM.

  11. #26

    • Banned User
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    2,576

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by Lacrossedragon
    You posted this on a board dude. Expect opinions. We're not all going to praise you for your unneeded post.
    Perfect for your teacher? He/she said 5 pages you wrote 19, how the hell is that perfect for your teacher? Do you really think she gives a flying F about 19 pages of Disney?
    I think we're ALL being nice with this one, understand that we're just trying to be polite. But also understand that you posted it on a public forum.
    well 19 pages double spaced- 9 pages single spaced- I didn't know which one she wanted so I just did both and added them for her choosing.

    And yes, she does like Disney.

    And yes, I do expect opinions from others - just the stuff you said to me I already knew. I know this essay was the sweet version of Disney's life, but talking about his darker life as well would have added too much to both the paper and my brain.

    But I really do enjoy opinions.

  12. #27

    • враг народа
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    14,164
    Blog Entries
    3

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by A Disney Dreamer
    well 19 pages double spaced- 9 pages single spaced...would have added too much to both the paper and my brain.
    Edited. This is where editing comes into play. Do we need to know the birthday of every sibling? I wrote a 6 page paper on Disneyland and its impact on American society. I could have done a 300 page book, but the task was five or six pages.

  13. #28

    • Look Right, Pick Up Phone
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    1,699

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    I don't necessarily know exactly what your teacher is like, but in general, when we've been writing, everything is supposed to be supporting our thesis, no matter what. Going from that specific viewpoint, I think a lot of this essay was unnecessary because I don't think it added to or helped prove your thesis. I'll talk about specifics tomorrow when I'm less tired.

    EDIT: Also, in terms of the quotations, some seem okay, but some seem rather arbitrary. I'm having a hard time time buying that THAT is what the teacher wanted. I can see intergrated quotes as being a part of the assignment, but most of the places quotes appear in this paper are just unnecessary. Even if you had to sprinkle them in to please the teacher, I would have left them completely out of the first paragraph.
    Last edited by Twist_of_Fate; 05-26-2006 at 11:07 PM.

  14. #29

    • Minion
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    San Francisco, CA
    Posts
    1,172

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    Thesis statements in the beginning are so boring lol. Well I've been taught to steer away from that because you basically sum up the whole essay at the very first thing the audience reads. Your thesis was well supported and don't listen to others about sugar coating, you put the correct details of Walt's life that supported your thesis.
    Jeff Wayne







  15. #30

    • That's Hawt
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Tahoe
    Posts
    6,989

    Re: My Walt Disney and Disneyland School Essay

    From what I read, it was a well written and thorough analysis of Walt Disney's life. You could have gone slightly more in depth on certain matters, and dropped others. Good job for a senior exit project!
    Quote Originally Posted by drunkmom
    this is my first buzzed post in the DMCA -- I'm really in this club because I'm a bitch more than anything. I've only had to hit the backspace 4 (oops, make that 5) times in (now 7) in this (now 9) (now 15) in this post! Damn, now I'm up to 18! Our neighbors were (19) (20) making tequilla sunrises. I thought I couldn't do tequilla (22) anymore but (24) this stuff (26) was good! It started (27) with an s



Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. [Question] Essay on Disneyland
    By Madasahatter in forum Disneyland Resort
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 04-23-2009, 03:34 PM
  2. i'm writing a disney essay
    By ElephantzGoMooo in forum MiceChat Main Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 08-14-2006, 09:58 PM
  3. Disney Essay Topics
    By ElephantzGoMooo in forum MiceChat Main Lounge
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 04-22-2006, 03:01 PM
  4. Walt Disney eyes pre-school TV segment
    By Gwyren in forum MiceChat News Archive
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-26-2005, 07:33 PM
  5. Save Disney TL Essay
    By Kevie in forum Disneyland Resort
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 04-05-2005, 10:18 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •