Let's pretend that you were printing up a Disneyland Today guidebook for a friend with some HONEST descriptions of the attractions in the park. What would you put in?
Here's my entries:
Autopia: Noisy, dull and an almost certain to result in whiplash. Certain to keep single digit IQ patrons entertained for hours.
Matterhorn Bobsleds: Looks better than it rides. This rollercoaster was built before they invented banked curves so you are in for a mean, bumpy ride. Not recommended for large guests.
Davey Crocket Canoes: Forget to workout at the gym the night before? Head to the canoes. Guaranteed to be seated behind a child with no idea how to work a paddle other than how to continue to splash you with gross, green , duck feces filled water.
Innoventions: Ever wonder what it must feel like to walk around a Best Buy while it moves at 1MPH? Neither do I but apparently some Imagineers over in Burbank did and the result is Innoventions.