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  1. #1

    • Bruce Timm is a genuis.
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    Naughty Things to do at Disneyland [Satire]

    This was a tongue in cheek list I made up a few years ago, and have added to a few times since. Feel free to add your own wacky ideas! Please note that I haven't actually done these, but I bet it would be a hoot (and possible expulsion from the park) if I did!

    Top Ten things to Do at Disneyland
    (Preferably When No One’s Watching)

    10.Look for Leonardo DiCaprio’s dead, frozen corpse among the bits of iceberg on the Submarine ride.
    9.Get the Pirates of the Caribbean in a knockdown drag out, full contact, winner-take-all fist fight against Indiana Jones, Abraham Lincoln, and the entire cast of “It’s a Small World.”
    8.Aim your spit towards convertibles while on the Monorail.
    7.See if there really is a basketball court inside the Matterhorn, and use any means necessary to find out.
    6.See if you can convert the Teacups into a little Autopia. Goodbye, china!
    5.Much like the ghosts on the Haunted Mansion, follow Mickey home!
    4.Take the rails off of Autopia; give those nurses in the first aid station something to do!
    3.Have your 5 year old ask incessantly (and loudly) “Where’s Snoopy?” (or, alternatively, “Where’s Bugs?”) especially if there’s a character around.
    2.Take some REAL dynamite to the mine ride and Tom Sawyer’s Island with you.
    1.Come back when it’s dark, take the mine ride’s dino bones, and attempt to make a profit off of them.

    The New and Improved Top Things to Do at Disneyland
    (‘Cause I Could Think of More Than Ten!)

    · Dress up like one of the workers. When tourists ask for directions, show them the way by pointing with only one finger.
    · Bug the trash can band players, asking if after a while their instruments begin to smell.
    · On “Star Tours,” casually discuss the weight to velocity dynamics of vehicles that only appeared in Star Wars books with the Japanese tourist sitting next to you. Make sure he doesn’t know English well.
    · On the Indiana Jones ride, try to get the Jeep to go down the road Indy blocks at the beginning, “just for fun.”
    · Take the head off one of the cartoon characters in front of children.
    · Start a fight with Mickey Mouse. Sue him.
    · Laugh at anybody who says they want to go to California Adventure.
    · Pants Abraham Lincoln. Oh wait…nobody goes to that exhibit.
    · Replace the music on “It’s a Small World” with “Inna Gotta Davita.”
    · Make Disneyland more like Knott’s Berry Farm. Rob the train.
    · Steal a car from the Autopia. Drive it through the park.
    · Form your own parade and perform it on Main Street. Ignore security at all costs.
    · Continually ask what the Little Mermaid’s clamshell size is. Even ask the actress playing her.
    · Ask the street cleaner following the horse-drawn carriage how much his pay is.
    · Pimp your hoes on Main Street.
    · Dress as various Disney characters. When asked about it, give an indignant look, mumble something about “those damn tourists,” and walk away.
    · Go swimming in the lake.
    · Try to find the dungeon in Sleeping Beauty’s castle.
    · Capture the Abominable Snowman alive. He can bring you millions!
    Light a man a fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of the night. Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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  2. #2

    • Waiting for the monorail
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    Ian, I think the word satire should give you a clue it is a joke

    Man this list is funny! I know I'm going to be trying to figure out what to add when I go to sleep tonight. Thanks for the laugh.

  3. #3

    • Bruce Timm is a genuis.
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    Oh my, yes. These are definitely jokes. Of course, I wouldn't be this rude in real life. But if I were evil...

    That being said, I guess I should add a disclaimer:
    DON'T TRY THESE AT HOME! (Or at Disneyland, or anywhere else I guess.)
    Last edited by pjdonnell; 01-22-2005 at 10:19 AM.
    Light a man a fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of the night. Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

    My webpage, it's Blogtastic!

    Now with working Guestbook!

  4. #4

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    LoL... I'm just picturing someone riding an Autopia car around the park... too funny!!!

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainfully
    LoL... I'm just picturing someone riding an Autopia car around the park... too funny!!!
    I've always wanted too see some CM Autopia race around the park.
    -Monorail Man

  6. #6

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    I'd like to drive a spinning tea cup through the park.
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  7. #7

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    I would love to repalce It's a small world..... though it woul be some great jazz music....

    like In the mood.... that wont drive anyone inseign...... or would it??

    (I too would lvoe to race in the park in autopia cars....)

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dustysage
    I'd like to drive a spinning tea cup through the park.
    Eep! That would make me too dizzy!

  9. #9

    • all aboard!!
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    My favorite is the child saying bugs, etc. Sooo funny.
    everybody has a laughing place

  10. #10

    • Minion
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    LMAO!!!
    Pimping your hoes on main street and taking the head off of mickey...I got visuals....HAHAAHHAHA!

  11. #11

    • Waiting for the monorail
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    I would want to drive Mr. Toad's wild buggy through the park.

    Watch out! Here I come and nothing is stopping me!!!!

  12. #12

    • Gloomy Day, probably rain
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    You mean I wasn't supposed to do all that stuff??

  13. #13

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    1. Well for me is to drive one of the Autopia cars around Disneyland, then take it home.
    2. Use the handcar on the Disneyland Railroad, and take it for a spin.
    3. Use on of the submaries and go through the Rivers of America.
    4. (Joke Wise) Before blowing up Tomorrowland, I would say "Fire in the Hole!"
    5. Drive the Monorail back to my house and keep it.
    6. Drive one of the Disneyland Railroad Locomotives REALLY REALLY FAST.



    Walt's love of Trains!

  14. #14

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    hmmm.... you know the toad vehicle could work... just get a car battery.. hehe (*looks around*)

    I would still take a Autopia car... since they are still gas powers would have to get a trailer to put it on.. or spend over a billion dollars on gas to take it back home.... hehe

  15. #15

    • Waiting for the monorail
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    Disneyland RR Guy: When I was a little kid I always wanted to do #3. I really thought you could and used to beg my grandparents to get in the ROA line.

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