"I'll be your Skipper, Gilligan, MaryAnne, Ginger..."
And a bit a Skipper did for us one time (my description will be bad, the bit was funny) where the natives were re-setting to their position and she said, "Now stop that! Hang your heads in shame and think about what you've done."
"Please be careful when exiting the jungle cruise. We wouldn't want to scratch up out dock"
My favorite joke was one that I heard from a friend and is not in the script. Near the end of the cruise some teenagers went running by the JC screaming and yelling and sort of took the whole boats attention, to which the skipper replied, "AH! I remember my first beer"
1) Do you know what the difference between the crocodiles and alligators are? The crocodiles are made of plastic and the alligators are made with fiberglass.
2) [Pointing to pillars] This was the Walt Disney Company's first attempt at a monorail system.
3) Please exit the boat the same way you entered...pushing and shoving.
4) Okay ladies and gentlemen the native usually attack from the right hand side of the boat. [Natives attack] Wait one minute here!!! What are you guys doing on the left side of the boat??? You know I told you to attack from the right and another thing what are you doing just standing looking stupid with those spears in your hand your supposed to throw them! Get back down and try that one again!
5) Ok everyone, here are the Monkeys, wave to the Monkeys... [silence] Ah, well, you see, they would wave back, but their hands are glued to the rocks.