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  1. #31

    • Minion
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    Re: favorite lines from jungle cruise

    Luckily when I stopped working the Jungle Cruise I haven't heard too many of my original jokes. The two that use to get the biggest laughs were:

    Hippo Pool: "Look! There's one hiding up in the trees!" BANG BANG. "I think I got him"

    Native Village: "Let's find out why the natives are jumping around" make it seem like I was communicating then come back to the mic. "Well, looks like Mongo lost the key to the restroom again last night and they haven't found it yet."

  2. #32

    • California Dreamin
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    Thumbs up Re: favorite lines from jungle cruise

    There all so good, its really hard to chose. But if I had to chose, which I guess I do they would be;

    1.) Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please. Would the party that lost the roll of 50 $20.00/$100.00 bills, wrapped in a red rubber band, please report to the turnstile...we have good news for you. We have found your rubber band.

    2.)Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the World Famous Jungle Cruise Please do not take pictures while you are in the queue. Once again please do not take pictures while you are in the queue; They are nailed to the walls for a reason.

    BTW tvikorn I love your signature
    I am the sailing instructarr. And on movie nights, I run the projectarr. Only PG. Nothing arr.
    - The Sea Captain

  3. #33

    • Popular Princess
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    Re: favorite lines from jungle cruise

    Quote Originally Posted by SS_Columbia192 View Post
    There all so good, its really hard to chose. But if I had to chose, which I guess I do they would be;

    1.) Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please. Would the party that lost the roll of 50 $20.00/$100.00 bills, wrapped in a red rubber band, please report to the turnstile...we have good news for you. We have found your rubber band.

    2.)Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the World Famous Jungle Cruise Please do not take pictures while you are in the queue. Once again please do not take pictures while you are in the queue; They are nailed to the walls for a reason.
    i yeah! i almost forgot about those ones! those are the best! i especially like the one about the pictures!
    I'd rather be at Disneyland




  4. #34

    • T i DuBL GuH eRR
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    Re: favorite lines from jungle cruise

    Skipper: And over here to your left... (short pause. everyone looks to the left) ...you'll see absolutely nothing.

    Haha I felt so stupid. It was hilarious though; he got everyone.
    "Difficult takes a day
    Impossible takes a week"
    - Jay-Z

  5. #35

    • New Member
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    Re: favorite lines from jungle cruise

    "And up here on the left we have two toucans, one more toucan and we'd have a six pack"

  6. #36

    • some imagination huh?
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    Re: favorite lines from jungle cruise

    I liked waiting in line and hearing a CM over the PA say "I have an announcement to make: Can I have your attention?"

  7. #37

    • Head Postmaster of Random
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    Re: favorite lines from jungle cruise

    i had a bunch...

    "ATTENTION, ATTENTION!! I NEED EVERYONE TO LISTEN...CAUSE WE ARE NOW ENTERING THE FEARSOME WHITE-WATER RAPIDS OF KILAMANJARO.....we are now leaving the, well, yeah white water rapids of killamanjaro...."
    "Permane Ser Sentados Por Favor"
    "Watch out for anything that ssssslliittherzzz"
    "Launch control, LV....Go ahead....All video recorders off."


    Quote Originally Posted by Ride Warrior View Post
    I'm glad that you have an interest concerning postal delivery, mousephreak. We've needed better mail service for some time now. Therefore, with the power vested in me it is of great delight that I dub thee, Head Post Office Dude of Random. Arrise and start licking those stamps! We're backed up, and time is money.
    If you won the lottery what would you do?
    Quote Originally Posted by Wally View Post
    Buy a bunch of monkeys and have them re-enact the Civil War for my amusement.

  8. #38

    • Carry On My Wayward Son..
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    Re: favorite lines from jungle cruise

    BTW tvikorn I love your signature[/quote]

    thanks! I find it very fitting..haha
    From Family Guy:

    When Brian the dog meets Michael Eisner at the car wash...

    "Come to Disneyland!!!!! BRING MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"









  9. #39

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    Re: favorite lines from jungle cruise

    Quote Originally Posted by aerinpegadrak View Post
    That's my favorite OG joke. My second favorite OG joke is: "I hope you folks know what you're getting into today. It's called a boat."

    My favorite non-OG jokes ain't getting printed here. Though I do have two words for anyone in the know: Banana Republic.
    "b-o-t-e boat."

    And I know exactly what you're talking about. I know a certain skipper who is going to be teaching it to me soon.

    My favorites, though? (NON-OG)

    @Rhino: "With friends like that, who needs enemas?"
    @Squirter: "Now Bobo will demonstrate the male of the species. *squirt* Squirting prematurely." "Now Bobo will demonstrate the female of the species. *no squirt* "Faking it."

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