I love you dearly, old friend. But seriously. I think I won't be able to ride you for too much longer. You hurt me. Why? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!?! Last night was a beautiful early Spring night. I saw your magestic mountain peaks and thought, "Ahhhhh. What could be better than a lovely nighttime ride on my good friend, The Matterhorn." And so I waited in line very patiently, very happily in fact! And when it was my turn to board you, I quickly buckled up and got myself situated for the 1 and a half minutes of fun you would provide me.
Alas, one and a half minutes later, I was bruised. Knocked around. BEAT UP.
I remember when taking a ride on you was fun. Now?
Now you use me and abuse me and frankly...I think I'm getting too old for this relationship.
If you can't treat me with at least some respect, I'm afraid I'll have to cut our weekly visits short.
No hard feelings, OK? But next time, maybe don't make that last turn down the mountain so hard that it feels like you're punishing me for not being 8 years old any more and being able to take it.
You're still my dawg. ~hits chest with fist~
P.S. I apologize for all the sexual innuendos in this letter. Don't get the wrong idea. I just wanna be friends.