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About LinkBacksElk Chili? Sounds good.
Elk Chili? Sounds good.
The Right Honorable Count Boogie Bonz of Random, at your service.
On Track for Weight Loss!
It sounded great but some Skips are not made of Iron Stomachs and Custodial never forgave them for the smell in the bathroom stalls! It was the one day Jungle didn't have a backup... on or off the river!Originally Posted by BassBone
"Happiness is a Low Water Level"
"Creating magical memories and making Managers cry since 1955!"
Ah yes...the elk chili!
Funny story about that particular Skip...One day, he shows up for his opening shift (7:45 AM) toting an entire bucket of KFC and a 2 liter Mountain Dew. The opening lead says to him, "I didn't know we were having a potluck today." Skip's response....
"What potluck?" And proceeded to tear into the fried chicken.
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Ah, those long-gone days in the Jungle! These stories get my mind spinning back, back to the Summer of Aught Three...
Fishing for Nemo off the dock - what a hoot!
I'm reminded of the Dead Skipper bit: If you're on a deadhead this works best, but if you have a small and cooperative crew aboard, they can play too. As we headed for the Falls the second time (the backside of water), I'd slump forward over the wheel and play dead. The boat coming at you just sees a speeding boat with a dead skip - sometimes they'd have a great line, but the best was a rookie who would try to ignore it or be completely dumbfounded and say nothing.
That summer we also ended up waiting at Trader Sam a lot (oh, wait - you too?), and I would see how long I could keep the cannibal jokes going. You've heard all the standards, but my favorite was that Sam and I were both on the Atkins diet - then we ran out of him.
A shorter variation on the EBS gag: (Urgently) "Ladies and Gentlemen, can I have your attention, please... (pause) Thank you."
"And as you exit this side, Ron is there to help you out by the rear... OF THE BOAT, Ron! Sorry about that, ma'am..."
I have to go now - someone's threatening to nail my kids' feet to the Small World floor...
- Johnny
"Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." - BB
Ladies and Gentleman may I have your attention please..this just in to the Workd Famous Jungle Cruise...an update to some of today's sports scores
7-4
8-3
11-5
and this late breaking info late in the ninth, a partial score of 2.
-"Enjoy the rest of your stay here at Disneyland, where all of your dreams come true...well except for two of them, short lines and cheap food."
Ladies and Gentleman may I have your attention please, we have a inportant anouncement from our jungle ducks.
Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack,Quack, Quack,Quack, Quack, Quack,Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack,Quack,Quack,Quack,
Quack, Quack,
Quack,
Thank you.
It's time for Din Din.
"Happiness is a Low Water Level"
You know I was never one for the line jokes...
"Ladies and Gentleman special announcement, today is Taylor's Birthday... that's right today is Taylor's 20th Birthday, please wish her Happy Birthday as you step in the boat." What's so funny you ask... her Birthday was in December, and this was the middle of July!
"Now approaching the dock is David. He's brand a new Skip, just got trained! He's actually not very funny but please clap and laugh along as much as possible... it will boost his confidence!"
For me it was always the more subtle gags like taking a wrench and one of the boat propellers out of the shipping office. I'd walk a few feet in No Man's and loudly say to the lead "I forgot the paperwork Brent.... which boat did this one come off of again? Holding up the propeller in front of everyone"
"Happiness is a Low Water Level"
"Creating magical memories and making Managers cry since 1955!"
I'd say that was just foul
But then it would be too much like a Jungle joke ...
I'm not sure if foul fits the bill if you are really trying to duck out of this and fly past without ruffling any feathers!
"Happiness is a Low Water Level"
"Creating magical memories and making Managers cry since 1955!"
Oh, man - I think I'm quacking up...
"Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." - BB
These puns are for the birds.
The Right Honorable Count Boogie Bonz of Random, at your service.
On Track for Weight Loss!
Fun with Water Colors.
Considering this is MiceChat I highly doubt I am spoiling the magic. Jungle's water is not naturally green. Some true rivers are, I found that out while researching the boat names. It depends on the content of the river, silt, local plants, if it is rocky (makes it clear) or muddy. In any event it's dyed green, usually overnight. However there have been some cases where they've dyed it while it's running.
Back side of..... um nevermind- On a couple occasions they decided to pour it in backstage and let the pumps drop it over S.Falls. The thought was that it would dissipate in the water and you wouldn't know, it would look a little greener is all. The reality is that it would clump up on top of the falls, really build up, then it was as if DuckZilla ate a bean burrito or something up there! It was always random, and usually timed to when you did the "Backside of Water" and then as you pointed that falling wonder was in their snapshot!
Beautiful Blue- On occasions they have grabbed the wrong bag of dye. It's rare, but it does happen. My best memory was of Benny. As I approached the falls from the front I see this massive bright blue water falling. Bright blue... couldn't miss it. Underneath I hear Benny " Ladies and Gentleman the worlds largest flowing glass of Kool-Aid... um no drinking please." A couple trips later I snagged a boat and I was under when Benny was approaching. I thought I had him. Suddenly I hear "Ladies and Gentleman 2000 flushes, does wonders for your plumbing and makes ours blue!". So for any junior Skips... that's why it was tough to get me to drop the mic, because I was used to Skips ad-libbing.
Mystery Color- For some reason it was decided that the over the falls method wasn't quite the effect they wanted. SO they talk me and 2 guys into taking an empty boat. I drive, they shovel out the dye behind me. This would have been perfect, except the bags didn't have labels. The first large spot on the river was the Elephant Pool... shovel shovel... splash splash... what the... It was RED, and it looked horrible. One of them commented that it would dilute and a boat was gaining on me so we floored it. They tossed a little here and there. At the Hippos I think one of them was sensing that they were running out of time so he just dumped a whole bag in. I pulled around the corner but was trapped by a slow Skip so there I sat. Behind me I could hear the boat approaching the Hippos
"You know kids, hippos are extremely gentle creatures, hardly ever attack, very peaceful OH MY GOD THEY BLEW UP A HIPPO... DUCK RUN RUUUUUUN! BANG BANG"
I laughed all the way back to the dock. They were right it did dissipate, in about 2 hours.
I also developed this logo, I put it on the Adventurer Thread but I know most of the Skips lurk here more then anywhere. You'll notice the man in the photo is the good Dr. S!
Last edited by techskip; 08-19-2007 at 06:21 PM.
"Happiness is a Low Water Level"
"Creating magical memories and making Managers cry since 1955!"
^^^ Red dye in the hippo pool...
If any active Skips want to try Dead Crew, I'm sure I can drag a compliant cast of corpses over from the Noon Meet for you. Sundays at about 11:30 or 1:30 is easy - PM for details.
Anyone work up any good Bats Day material?
Phone call for you from George Carlin, Skip! And he's not happy...
--<< Bruce >>--
There's No Place Like 127.0.0.1
Please realize I completely support Goth culture, and I realize the mohawk isn't usually associated with Goth... but you see a lot of them on Bat's.
Usual lines
"So I guess electrical socket won that round huh!"
"Did your teeth spark when you put your finger in the light socket?"
"I've seen Mouse Ears, Nemo... but I have to tell you THAT wins the prestigious park hat award!"
"Ever get that urge to take all the strings from the balloon guy and then yank all the balloons down at once?"
Skull Canoe- "Hey cheer up, they didn't make it either!"
But as for specific "days" or "weeks" my favorite are Red Shirt Day and Beauty Week.
We had a brand new Skip, running late, just barely made it on time and jumped in the boat. We start loading and of course, red shirt, red shirt, random family, red shirt, red shirt... you get the idea. Not knowing the back story the kid goes "Wow, looks like everyone's together for the red shirt cruise... where's my red shirt?" One of the guys in the back "I've got your shirt right here baby" and mocks taking off his shirt! The boat was in tears and the Skips face was redder then the shirts!
My Red Shirt experience- We'd literally just gotten the guns back, So not many people knew about the guns. Next to me was a couple. Not sure why but opposites attract. One was a larger individual, height and weight. His partner was a smaller guy, 5'3 possibly 100lbs or so.We take the trip, great trip btw everyone cracking up, and then we hit the hippos. I fire off the gun and the big guy SCREAMS... like a woman in an opera... real set of lungs! At the same time he literally jumps into his partner's lap! Partner is crushed, pissed, and cussing up a storm "Quit embarassing us, this is why we don't do these group dates... get up... etc." He finally settles back in around the natives. Then we hit the piranhas. It was hippos all over again. Little guy "It's a fish, a stupid fish on a stick, please move I'm loosing feeling in my legs!" I would otherwise have thought it inappropriate to laugh but the entire boat was in tears, it was one club and everyone knew everyone, as they said "like one big family, no hiding here!"
Beauty Week- is when they have all the pageants at the Convention Center. We got bored and nominated one of our own. Mihael B. became known as "Miss Pro-Towel" complete with tiara and pro-towels stapled into a sash! If you knew Michael you'd know he prefered being called "queen" not "princess"... he had so much fun doing that. And then management pulled the plug and we lost our spot!
"Happiness is a Low Water Level"
"Creating magical memories and making Managers cry since 1955!"
Fun with Water Colors.
Considering this is MiceChat I highly doubt I am spoiling the magic. Jungle's water is not naturally green. Some true rivers are, I found that out while researching the boat names. It depends on the content of the river, silt, local plants, if it is rocky (makes it clear) or muddy. In any event it's dyed green, usually overnight. However there have been some cases where they've dyed it while it's running.
Back side of..... um nevermind- On a couple occasions they decided to pour it in backstage and let the pumps drop it over S.Falls. The thought was that it would dissipate in the water and you wouldn't know, it would look a little greener is all. The reality is that it would clump up on top of the falls, really build up, then it was as if DuckZilla ate a bean burrito or something up there! It was always random, and usually timed to when you did the "Backside of Water" and then as you pointed that falling wonder was in their snapshot!
Beautiful Blue- On occasions they have grabbed the wrong bag of dye. It's rare, but it does happen. My best memory was of Benny. As I approached the falls from the front I see this massive bright blue water falling. Bright blue... couldn't miss it. Underneath I hear Benny " Ladies and Gentleman the worlds largest flowing glass of Kool-Aid... um no drinking please." A couple trips later I snagged a boat and I was under when Benny was approaching. I thought I had him. Suddenly I hear "Ladies and Gentleman 2000 flushes, does wonders for your plumbing and makes ours blue!". So for any junior Skips... that's why it was tough to get me to drop the mic, because I was used to Skips ad-libbing.
Mystery Color- For some reason it was decided that the over the falls method wasn't quite the effect they wanted. SO they talk me and 2 guys into taking an empty boat. I drive, they shovel out the dye behind me. This would have been perfect, except the bags didn't have labels. The first large spot on the river was the Elephant Pool... shovel shovel... splash splash... what the... It was RED, and it looked horrible. One of them commented that it would dilute and a boat was gaining on me so we floored it. They tossed a little here and there. At the Hippos I think one of them was sensing that they were running out of time so he just dumped a whole bag in. I pulled around the corner but was trapped by a slow Skip so there I sat. Behind me I could hear the boat approaching the Hippos
"You know kids, hippos are extremely gentle creatures, hardly ever attack, very peaceful OH MY GOD THEY BLEW UP A HIPPO... DUCK RUN RUUUUUUN! BANG BANG"
I laughed all the way back to the dock. They were right it did dissipate, in about 2 hours.
I also developed this logo, I put it on the Adventurer Thread but I know most of the Skips lurk here more then anywhere. You'll notice the man in the photo is the good Dr. S!
Don't forget the Methane Monster!
Walt's love of Trains!
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