My inside source has been keeping quiet lately, but he's back and has given me some of the most important changes that will be coming to Disney's California Adventure in the next few years.
- Soarin' Over California will be renamed "Sora Over California". This will make things more efficient.
- Heimlich's Chew Chew Train will be renamed "Heimlich's dark and disturbing decent into the world of Obesity" It will feature new audio clips like "Oh! Candy Corn! I eat this to help fill the void in my soul!"
- Carsland will not be based on the motion picture "Cars" but will instead be based on the old Disneyland Parking Lot. Disney will monitor Websites and everyone who says they wish they could have their parking lot back will only be allowed in this new land.
- Grizzly River Rapids will be re-named to Grizzly Enormous River Boat Exciting Rapids. The new sponsor will be Gerber's baby food.
- Taste Pilot's Grill will feature an all new pickle container.
- The animation studio will soon feature a new exhibit featuring John Lasseter saying, over and over again, "Listen people, get with the program. Computer animation is just as good as traditional animation. Haven't any of you seen Toy Story?"
- For a added sense of realism, every twenty-fifth guest on the Tower of Terror will be slapped on the back of the neck with a roofing shingle.
- Mc Donalds will sponsor a new attraction called "How many hamburgers have you sold Mr. Morgan Spurlock?"
- Due to budget cuts "Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color" water show will be cut back to "Chubby Kid with a Water Gun"
All and all, I'm pretty dang excited!!!!
- Nasty burnt coffee smell will be replaced by nasty self-satisfied DCA hater smell.