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  1. #46

    • With my wife....
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    Quote Originally Posted by mamabot
    The jokes about Trader Sam's dinner parties are always classic.
    I always get just a little bit nauseated at the thought of him giving me the "cold shoulder"
    "I could never convince the financiers that Disneyland was feasible because dreams offer too little collateral"

    --Walt Disney

  2. #47

    • Rally Vixen
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    Quote Originally Posted by E-ticket
    I always get just a little bit nauseated at the thought of him giving me the "cold shoulder"
    Anything listed on the park maps as an attraction is fair game for inclusion in the Rally.
    I cannot confirm nor deny the inclusion of any attraction in the Rally.



    May the Gumballs Be with You...Always.

    NO GOATS!

  3. #48

    • Minion
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    i heard this one at the time of exiting the boat....
    hope you enjoyed the ride my name is john and you can see me over at the improv every wednesday night....valeting your car.

    I dunno that made me crack up...i'm a dork, i know :o

  4. #49

    • Baybeh!
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    Quote Originally Posted by LAURA
    i heard this one at the time of exiting the boat....
    hope you enjoyed the ride my name is john and you can see me over at the improv every wednesday night....valeting your car.

    I dunno that made me crack up...i'm a dork, i know :o
    My favorite closer was:

    "Thank you for visiting us here at the world famous Jungle Cruise, and we hope you injoy the rest of your day here at Walt Disney's Magic Mount....I mean Kingdom."

  5. #50

    • Rat Tat Tat.
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    Ahhhh...you've been an outstanding crew, now you'll be out standing on the dock.

  6. #51

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    This has nothing to do with the actual script, but with how good the skippers are at their jobs. The last time I was at Disneyland my family was getting on the boat and my brother looked at the skipper and said to him "Hey, this boat is listing!" The skipper replied without missing a beat " That's impossible this is an unlisted boat." I will never forget that. My favorite lines are "Backside of water" and WDW "Those butterflys grow to between 12 inches and 1 foot"

  7. #52

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    I don't exactly remember everything that was said but it was upon the return to "civilization". The skipper told us some thing to remember that his mother told him when he was little. Whenever we were feeling down, scraped our knees, etc. other injuries and heartbreaking moments. He then shone the flashlight on the Arabic writing on the side of the Aladdins Oasis, and made a pathetic attempt at speaking jumbled Arabic. It was just great.

  8. #53

    • Know More Than You Should
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    We are now entering the Great White River Rapids.

    We are now leaving the Great White River Rapids.


    ****************Ad*****************

    Trader Sam's NOW OFFERING 2 FOR SPECIAL
    2 OF HIS HEADS FOR ONLY ONE OF YOURS
    Offer Expires Febuary 28 2005

    ****************Ad*****************













  9. #54

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    Okay... I have to add a few.

    "We're entering banana country, so keep your eyes peeled."

    "Up ahead is an ancient Cambodian shrine, built by ancient Cambodian shriners." (okay... someone already listed that one, sorry)

    "As we come back to civilization there's a real mystery here: two docks together, we call that a paradox."

    "I want to thank my fingers because I can always count on them, my arms for never leaving my side, my legs for their support..."

    "This is headhunter territory, and it's a terrible place to be-headed."
    "Say, uh, ever hear of the devil's paint pots? Real mystery of the desert. Bubblin' pots of mud in all kinds of colors."

  10. #55

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    My favorite JC joke happened on a nightime cruise in the early 90s. We stopped in the hippo pool and the skipper switched off the lights. He rubbed the microphone on the underside of the canopy..... (this was with the old striped canopies).... making a terrific sound and yelled........One of them has a saw!!!......

  11. #56

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wedge519
    This has nothing to do with the actual script, but with how good the skippers are at their jobs. The last time I was at Disneyland my family was getting on the boat and my brother looked at the skipper and said to him "Hey, this boat is listing!" The skipper replied without missing a beat " That's impossible this is an unlisted boat." I will never forget that. My favorite lines are "Backside of water" and WDW "Those butterflys grow to between 12 inches and 1 foot"
    You know what... most of the skippers I've had have been great! However the last time I went, we had someone... I have no idea how she got to be a Jungle Cruise Skipper. She sat in the front with her back to us the whole time and mumbled into the microphone... we couldn't understand a word she said. She skipped so many good jokes and went quite a ways without even saying anything. Not many people laughed. My poor boyfriend had never been on the JC before... and he didn't understand why I liked it so much. I had to explain to him that usually the skipper is so much better. He loves puns... and I told him some of the jokes... but it just wasn't the same. I was just shocked at this lady's pure lack of enthusiasm.

  12. #57

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    One of my favorites was from an unscheduled stop near the end of the ride, apparently while we were waiting for the dock to open up.

    There's nothing around us but plants, so the skipper says, "Let me point out some the local flora to you. ... There's some. ... There's some more. ... There's some more over there."

  13. #58

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    Once on the Jungle Cruise our skipper told us about his dinner with Trader Sam. It went like this
    Skipper: Sam, I have to say your wife MAKES a great soup!
    Sam:Yeah, but I sure am gonna miss her.
    My other favorites: "If you enjoyed your tour my name is (Skippers name) and this has been the World Famous Jungle Cruise. If you didnt enjoy it my name is Jose and this has been the World Famous Tiki Room." "Your free ride is over, pick up your things and get out! I'm sorry that was rude. PLEASE get out!

  14. #59

    • Baybeh!
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    Can anyone imagine what Groucho Marx's Jungle Cruise would have been like?

    "A few more jokes like the "Paradocks" joke and we'll soon find out" (He says flicking an invisible cigar)

  15. #60

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    My Favorite Jc Lines

    My favorite lines, which they don't use any more:

    Going through the rain forest: "Look at all of the mist coming down through the trees, actually those are the baby monkeys at the tops of the trees".

    Passing the two bull elehants: " On the left we have the second most fear creature in all of Africa - the male bull elephant, and over to the right we have the most feared creature in all of Africa - that's his wife".

    Passing the skulls on the small boat: "Here are the traditional arts & crafts of these natives, actually it's the remains of my last crew".

    Passing the dancing warriors: "They are actually doing the I got to go to the bathroom dance".

    Some of my memories.

    Glenn
    Former cast member

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