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brad chowen

Insert Kid’s Movie Fart Joke Here…(The State of Family Entertainment)

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by , 01-10-2012 at 10:20 AM
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Why is it that every single CGI talking animal movie nowadays has to have a fart joke in it? Is it some law? Do the writers actually write good stuff and then the executive up in his gold plated office walks in and says “ The script looks great, but where is the scene where the talking dogs fart?” And why …why do the kids watching the movie think it is by far the funniest scene in the movie?

It was a Sunday evening which means Family Movie Night at the house. I had a bunch of kids movies clogging up the DVR and tonight the kid’s choice was [U][B]Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure 2011 (4 out of 10) [/B][/U]. A completely disposable holiday movie with an unremarkable (been there done that story) about a clumsy Stable Elf that accidentally steals Santa’s sled and loses Santa’s Magical Sack. He of course enlists the help of a teen that is dealing with the death of his dad and Beethoven (in town on loan from his owners for a commercial). The typical holiday movie plot follows the attempts of 2 bumbling crooks that end up with Santa’s Sack and the Elf and Beethoven trying to get the sack back. Overacting rules the day and Beethoven who never talked in his early films gets the CGI talking dog treatment here thanks to a magical candy cane that let’s people understand dog. (WHY NOT). All turns out well in the end and Beethoven helps fly Santa’s Sleigh back to the North Pole (of course).

Oh Yeah …..The fart scene. A staple of modern day children’s movies, especially when talking dogs are involved. I don’t think Walt would be adding fart scenes into his movies. Beethoven (voiced by Tom Arnold) and another dog burst out into a series of farts after having a treat the Elf gives them. The kids start cracking up like it was the funniest joke ever written. The dogs continue to fart and discuss the farting. It is just too lazy and too easy when writing a kid’s movie that isn’t really that good to say INSERT FART SCENE HERE , but it happens again and again. Shrek burped and farted his way to fame and every talking CGI dog or Hamster movie since has carried the FART torch. It is a lowering of standards. The kids favorite scenes from Marmaduke was …..”Wait for it ……Wait for it………(Insert dog fart here)” This joke was in the movie twice and for some reason was the kids favorite or most memorable scene. (kids today what can you do?)

The lame Hamsters of G-force mined the fart joke. [B][U]Alvin and the Chipmunks 2007 6 out of 10…[/U][/B] went a step worse with one of the Chipmunks actually pooping and another one eating it saying it was a raisin……(GROSS) This is like something out of Jackass not a kid movie. Why is it okay to get away with crap like this because it is a Chipmunk? Of course with everything I complain about in movies I’m a bit of a Hypocrite because of course I loved the infamous campfire fart scene in Blazing Saddles and the Austen Powers peeing for like 3 minutes scene in Austen Powers….. but those weren’t movies aimed at kids. I wish Hollywood would aim a little bit higher than …..INSERT FART JOKE HERE.

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