RCMC #119 - A Call To Action! Come One! Come All! Come Once, Come Again, and again..

[ChessurInWonderland]

I feel for you. I want to make something really clear and I hope you listen to this. You're a young person going through some really awful things. These types of issues can have a negative impact on who you become in the future. While incredibly hard you MUST MUST MUST remember that none of this is your fault. It just isn't.

Your stepdad telling you that it is your fault is him failing you. He is a full-grown adult and has the obligation to protect you whether he realizes it or not. And whether you realize it or not, I'm here to tell you that you don't know much about the world simply because of your age. I thought I knew a lot at your age and I bet you think the same way, but you don't. Your stepdad is taking advantage of your inexperience in life and throwing a burden on you. Shame on him.

Knowing this, you have to come to terms with something I am coming to grips with at 28...you are responsible for your own happiness. While you can't give him a middle finger and tell him to fudge off, you can do your best to ignore anything you know in your heart is wrong and do everything possible to make your life happy by working hard and making friends.

The alternative is not good. Letting all this negativity at such a young age can lead to depression or other really bad things that will affect your entire life. Make the choice right now to embrace happiness and love yourself.

In reading your posts it's so clear your a caring and intelligent individual. The world will be losing out on you if your joy and love of life is extinguished early on. We're all amazing and capable of doing phenomenal things. Do not let someone that is failing you impact you in a way where you begin to fail yourself.

You are great. It's very clear. Anybody that tells you otherwise has no f'ing clue what they're talking about.

Thanks I found out that I don't think my mom was really mad at me, I think my stepdad just pinned it on me because he knows she's been stressed out with him not helping with his daughter, but it still kind of irks me. I found out I'm going to Disneyland after all this weekend, so I'm just going to try to look forward to that. My stepdad is always doing stuff like this, he tries to get involved in things, pretending to parent but instead just putting me down and making me always feel like an awful person. I try to be aware of everyone else, but I'm trying to deal with my own things myself at the same time that my family is completely oblivious to, and sometimes I wish he'd just leave me alone.

[my7dwarves]

Jess... we've already talked, so ya know how I feel. But here's my official MC hug to you


Mel!!! Hi there! How are you?


Rob... Hmmm.... Whatcha have in mind?


Rex... Good evening to you! How's your foot?

[mylothelostboy]

First post in the Random Court! I remember seeing something like this on a forum I was a part of a while ago - it's always good to have a random chat thread for...randomness XD

[micromind]

Rob... Hmmm.... Whatcha have in mind?

Haven't figured it out yet, but knowing me, it'll prolly involve explosives of some sort!!

lol.

---------- Post added 03-05-2012 at 07:54 PM ----------

First post in the Random Court! I remember seeing something like this on a forum I was a part of a while ago - it's always good to have a random chat thread for...randomness XD

Hey there, Milo!!

Glad to meet you.

You'll find us here on RCMC to be a lot like family. And yes, we've been known to be more than a bit random around here.......

lol.

[my7dwarves]

Haven't figured it out yet, but knowing me, it'll prolly involve explosives of some sort!!

lol.

Because you complete me....

[Rex Dopey24]

Jess... we've already talked, so ya know how I feel. But here's my official MC hug to you


Mel!!! Hi there! How are you?


Rob... Hmmm.... Whatcha have in mind?


Rex... Good evening to you! How's your foot?

hi my7dwarves. my foot is slowly healing. its starting to get better i must continue to ice it at least 30 mins 8 times a day. it sure is not easy though. somehow i make it though. i dont like the way the therapist teases me about my foot ugh. lol. how are you by the way?

[Barbaraann]

I have never really watched Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. However, it sometimes follows Little House on the Prairie on one of my U-verse channels. It has now captured my attention.

[my7dwarves]

hi my7dwarves. my foot is slowly healing. its starting to get better i must continue to ice it at least 30 mins 8 times a day. it sure is not easy though. somehow i make it though. i dont like the way the therapist teases me about my foot ugh. lol. how are you by the way?

I am good.

You gotta take care of your foot! Do what the doc tells you. I know therapists can be frustrating, and frankly kinda stupid, so just try and do the exercises on your own.

I have never really watched Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. However, it sometimes follows Little House on the Prairie on one of my U-verse channels. It has now captured my attention.

I think I have seen every episode of Dr Quinn. It's a great show. I'm not ashamed. I want her life.

[Rex Dopey24]

i can't believe its monday today.

[penguinsoda]

First post in the Random Court! I remember seeing something like this on a forum I was a part of a while ago - it's always good to have a random chat thread for...randomness XD

Fresh meat!!!

er... I mean....

New member!!!! Welcome!! Welcome to our little random corner where we toss out thoughts and ideas and forge bonds with our fellow members of humanity!

Ok we just hang out here and pass time....


And Jessica.... But Dave had some very wise advice for you!

And... darn the issues with the site!!! Still having problems!!!! Poor Monorail Man has been having fits I'm sure trying to get us back on an even keel again!!!

[Barbaraann]

Monday. My favorite Day. I got a lot done today. Jason, and I reorganized the basement. Jason is my grandson's cousin. He is now occupying my basement. Hopefully, some day he will be out on his own. In the meantime he is with us. His mother abandoned him at the age of 16. His life has been very chaotic for the last 5 years.

I also primed the space in the kitchen that used to house my dishwasher. I had the dishwasher taken out and shelving put in. Hopefully tomorrow I can start to paint the shelves.

---------- Post added 03-05-2012 at 10:35 PM ----------

Fresh meat!!!

er... I mean....

New member!!!! Welcome!! Welcome to our little random corner where we toss out thoughts and ideas and forge bonds with our fellow members of humanity!

Ok we just hang out here and pass time....


And Jessica.... But Dave had some very wise advice for you!

And... darn the issues with the site!!! Still having problems!!!! Poor Monorail Man has been having fits I'm sure trying to get us back on an even keel again!!!

Look who popped in when I wasn't looking.

[ChessurInWonderland]

I think today at least made me more determined to do what I want with my life, to find and purse whatever career will make me happy instead of trying to always fit my family's wants and expectations of me. My mom lately seems to mainly parent when she is mad at me for my grades or something like that, when she has her expectations of me. When I try to actually talk to her about things troubling me and less petty things in life than just grades or something like that, she usually just laughs and I never get to really talk to her. And I've realised that if that seems to be all she cares about, and everything else I do can't make her happy, it makes me see how silly her expectations can be, because it's my life, and not hers, and she doesn't deal with the stress I deal with trying to meet her expectations. I can't articulate what I mean very well by that, but it clicks suddenly in my head very well.

Earlier in the car, too, my stepdad tried to make small-talk with me, he asked me how much homework I had, and I replied with "a lot". Then he said something about it being good, and that my hard work would get me through a high education to be successful and improve America or something like that, I remember specific phrases like that. I finally heard that, and instead of feeling pressured, stressed, cornered, and hopeless, I felt really determined. I don't care anymore about fitting their standards of a 'proper', 'successful' job. They think that because I have good grades I should sit back and pursue a career that I might find boring but that makes a lot of money, they seem to want me to pursue desk jobs and/or math based things, that I might be able to succeed in but I will probably not enjoy or feel I'm meeting a full potential in. I, however, see my grades as just proof or practice of putting hard work into things, and I'd rather just try to find the type of career I'll completely love, even if I don't ever even become 'successful' in whatever I choose, by whomever's standards of successful even are. I've just realised that I'm not the person that wants to sit back through life like they seem to expect me to, they want me to stay in this box of expectation. I don't want to sit back and let people shove me around and try to hurt me, or sit back and make my life into someone else's path, and I don't want to sit back and just try to make them happy when most of the time, I only make them happy with more trivial things in life that don't matter as much to my whole life and character in general (like they don't care at all when I make huge accomplishments in socialising more or being myself more or anything like that, when this is some of the biggest progress in my life to me).

[my7dwarves]

I think today at least made me more determined to do what I want with my life, to find and purse whatever career will make me happy instead of trying to always fit my family's wants and expectations of me. My mom lately seems to mainly parent when she is mad at me for my grades or something like that, when she has her expectations of me. When I try to actually talk to her about things troubling me and less petty things in life than just grades or something like that, she usually just laughs and I never get to really talk to her. And I've realised that if that seems to be all she cares about, and everything else I do can't make her happy, it makes me see how silly her expectations can be, because it's my life, and not hers, and she doesn't deal with the stress I deal with trying to meet her expectations. I can't articulate what I mean very well by that, but it clicks suddenly in my head very well.

Earlier in the car, too, my stepdad tried to make small-talk with me, he asked me how much homework I had, and I replied with "a lot". Then he said something about it being good, and that my hard work would get me through a high education to be successful and improve America or something like that, I remember specific phrases like that. I finally heard that, and instead of feeling pressured, stressed, cornered, and hopeless, I felt really determined. I don't care anymore about fitting their standards of a 'proper', 'successful' job. They think that because I have good grades I should sit back and pursue a career that I might find boring but that makes a lot of money, they seem to want me to pursue desk jobs and/or math based things, that I might be able to succeed in but I will probably not enjoy or feel I'm meeting a full potential in. I, however, see my grades as just proof or practice of putting hard work into things, and I'd rather just try to find the type of career I'll completely love, even if I don't ever even become 'successful' in whatever I choose, by whomever's standards of successful even are. I've just realised that I'm not the person that wants to sit back through life like they seem to expect me to, they want me to stay in this box of expectation. I don't want to sit back and let people shove me around and try to hurt me, or sit back and make my life into someone else's path, and I don't want to sit back and just try to make them happy when most of the time, I only make them happy with more trivial things in life that don't matter as much to my whole life and character in general (like they don't care at all when I make huge accomplishments in socialising more or being myself more or anything like that, when this is some of the biggest progress in my life to me).

Jess... you are surely on the right track here.

Ultimately, you are the one that has to live your life. That doesn't mean you don't have respect for your parents and their opinions/advice, it just means that in the end when you are old enough you have to make decisions that are right for YOU.

Someone once told me that in making career type decisions, you need to find what you love and then figure out a way to get paid for it. I think that is very true, and where so many people go wrong.

Fact is, you will be successful in anything you choose for your life. You are smart, sensitive and have tons of potential and untapped talent.

All you need is a little support and encouragement.

And we are all here anytime for just that.

[penguinsoda]

Jessica... you are a very together young woman, and you have a good head on your shoulders. You now have the drive and determination to set your goals and reach for them, and thats just what you need to do.

I know has a parent, we want better for our children than what we had.... we want them to have an easier life, to be able to life life without problems. We want them to be successful, and to make enough that they don't have to worry. But ultimately in the end its going to be your life and you have to do what is in your own heart and that you think will make you happy.

Some years ago when my daughter told me she wanted to teach, I told her she was stark raving nuts. But in the end I also told her that she had to do what was in her heart of hearts... because if I talked her out of it and forced her to take another path in life, then years down the road she would wonder "what if" and could end up resenting me for it. If in the end it doesn't work out and she can't survive or be successful in her chosen career, at least she knows that it was her choice and she gave it a shot. And as mom, if it doesn't work out, I'll be there to try to pick up the pieces and support her and her husband however I can.

Somewhere I have... or had a book called "Do what you love, the money will follow." Sure its nice to be comfortable and all, but there is something to be said for doing something that you actually look forward to getting up in the morning for. To many people hate their jobs and the jobs cause more stress than the money is worth. As long as you can make a living at what you are doing, peace of mind and mental happiness can be worth more than all the money in the world.

[Rex Dopey24]

hi penguinsoda.