Do you ever not follow your gut instinct then regret it afterward?

[Princess Buttercup]

I hate that feeling when you know you should have done what your instinct was telling you.

Here's my latest one....

Last Sunday when we were getting ready for the Renaissance Faire, I went in my daughter's room where I keep all the costumes and got out the ones that I wanted them to choose from. I purposely did not get out this one special one because it is a more expensive costume and has sentimental value to me. A little while later I came in the room to help the girls , and my daughter's friend was wearing the costume I had purposely not gotten out. I was initially taken aback because I couldn't figure out how she had found it. My first thought was "I don't want her to wear that." The top half looked good on her, but the bottom half was too tight around her waist and I was worried she was going to split the seams. Plus it looked a little too sexy for a 10 year old. And my daughter had kind of a strange look on her face that told me something was up but I wasn't sure what. I really did not want her to wear it for all of these reasons , but she looked so happy in it that I thought "Oh well, I guess I'll let her wear it." I don't know why I did that and I am kicking myself now.

During the faire, she was eating a crepe and a huge piece of chocolate covered banana fell on the skirt and made a huge brown spot. As soon as I saw it I just cringed inside. I could tell she felt bad when it happened, but then when we got home, she took off the skirt and just threw it in a heap on the floor. It is a satin skirt so I have to take it to the drycleaners. I really hope they can get the spot out.


What makes me feel even worse about this whole thing is that I've since learned from my daughter that there was more to the story. She told me that she was the one who got the dress out of the closet and that she knew it was really special to me but was going to ask me if it would be okay to wear it. Then she went to take a shower and while she was gone her friend had put it on. When she got out of the shower she told her friend "I was going to wear that if my mom said it was okay." And her friend said "That's too bad because I already have it on." My daughter said she was really mad but thought she had to let her have her way since she was the guest. I asked her "Why didn't you take me aside and tell me what was going on " and she said "I thought you'd tell me the same thing."


Grrrrrrrrr...it makes me so mad thinking about the whole thing. I KNEW I should have followed my instincts.


Oh well....live and learn. It was a good lesson for my daughter too because we had a good talk about when it's good to let a friend have her way and when it's not.

[Morrigoon]

But your daughter is such a good girl! Yay her! (I mean, trying to treat guests the way she thinks you'd want her to)

[Princess Buttercup]

But your daughter is such a good girl! Yay her! (I mean, trying to treat guests the way she thinks you'd want her to)

That's a good point! Thanks for saying that!!

[Hakuna Makarla]

I feel for you, I have done the same thing.
The one thing my kids have learned is whats mine is mine. No there is no grey erea, its mine and we do not touch what is mine!
My kids do not go into my room, nor do they touch anything that is not there own. I got tired of seeing my friends kids cape cod now) Her kids would not leave things alone and when they came to my house they touched everything. I went bonkers as they even would slap at my fish tanks. I tried to get htem to stop, and I tried telling her that the kids were not allowed to touch things that were not there own, but they never listened. I think you have to teach kids very young that whats theres is theres and yours are yours.if that dress was important you you 1. you ned to make sure they know this and that they understand " its mine you have yours"
and 2. if some one else touches your things that its a "BIG NO NO"
I am sorry she messed the dress up Butter cup I hope it can be cleaned , but I am sure you and Tiffany will remember that next time and know that things are best left not touched.
My daughter had a friend who came and well touched everything. She was overly boistrous,cute and full of pep, but she did one thing I would not allow, she got into things and even got into Rachals things that she cherished. I had a talk with her, but it did no good as she kept it up. She is not allowed to come over now. I think if you do not honor your boundarys then you are banned.
Hey, I need some idea's about Rachals costume, Buttercup, if you can send me a pic of the costumes so I know how to do Rachal as a renauciance girl !

[All Aglow]

Stuff like this happens to me all the time, although I can't think of an example at the moment. But I've learned, especially since becoming a Mom, that our instincts are usually very spot on and have been burned many times by not following them.

Your daughter, though, what a great reaction to the whole thing! She did what she thought you would want but made sure to explain to you what happened and why later on - she's awesome!

ETA: By the way, the quote in your sig is my absolute favorite line from that entire movie. That's saying a lot because there are so many great lines in it!

[DMof2]

Always go with your gut

My daughter has a very pushy friend and I tell her all the time DO NOT TAKE HER BS! I've noticed that she hasn't really been around much so I am hoping this friendship has fizzled out.

Sorry PB hope the stain comes out.

[stinkerbell]

My daughters all have a particularly pushy friend.....it's so hard to know what to do. But I swear, all the experiences they have with those friends are learning experiences. I'm always pulling some nugget of wisdom out of the air, and we bond....cause they keep getting screwed over. Ugh.

But the thing is, I love these friends....and I love that my daughters love them. I respect that they can find something wonderful in a child that others find too difficult. I think that my kids teach these pushy kids how to be friends.

I wish your daughter would have pulled you aside....it's so hard for them at that age. I know I've heard my ten year old daughter tell a friend, "I already know my mom will say no." And she was right, but it made me feel bad...part of me wanted to let her do it. But at the same time, kids need us to be consistent, so it's a Catch-22.

It sounds like you have a smart girl, there, PB.

[Aunt Bee]

We have a saying in our family "Lent is spent".

Meaning, if you lend it out, it's either gonna get ruined, lost, or somehow never given back, and you'll have to buy a new one.


I still find it hard to say 'no' though, when it comes to lending out things.

I lent a great book out once (Signing Exact English-it was a large SEE text book). Never saw it again.

[alphabassetgrrl]

Any time I get a "feeling" and ignore it I regret it. Usually my feeling times are in regards to food... I'll get that voice in my head, eat now. And later food becomes inconveniant, and I'm really glad I followed it! Or I'll get them in regards to taking a particular route driving somewhere. There's a problem on my usual route.

[SallySkellington]

Every time I don't follow my instincts, I end up regretting it. Though there is one time I'm very glad I did follow my instincts, because I'm sure it saved my life.

This thread reminds me of something freaky that happened to me a while ago. I was thinking of one of my best friends, and I swear I heard a voice in my head that said "He won't be your friend forever." I thought it was just some stupid random thought, but not long after he turned his back on me. When I remembered that voice in the head thing, I had the Twilight Zone theme playing in my head.

[Trekkie Dad]

You know this story, PB.

Against my better judgement, I was talked into a mountain bike ride on a route I didn't particularly like. Just after starting the ride I scraped a fair patch of skin off my shin. And just when I thought the worst was over, I went over the bars and broke my collarbone.

Then came the helicopter ride to South Lake Tahoe....

PS. I got word a certain package arrived at your house today. I hope it brought a smile to your face.

[SCUBAbe]

yes...just tonight....I knew I should have said no, but I was tryign to be nice ...now after 1 1/2 hours of fighting with my parents and my daughter I have the satidfaction of knowing I should have said no...although it does not matter now....it's amazing that anytime somethign happens good in my life somethign else will happen 10 times as bad and it just sucks that good feeling away....tonight still sucks...

[NeverNeverland]

Ah, buttercup, Im' sorry about the dress. I hope the stain comes out.

[General You]

Ah, buttercup, Im' sorry about the dress. I hope the stain comes out.

Why does this sound like something Bill Clinton might say?

[Hakuna Makarla]

You know this story, PB.

Against my better judgement, I was talked into a mountain bike ride on a route I didn't particularly like. Just after starting the ride I scraped a fair patch of skin off my shin. And just when I thought the worst was over, I went over the bars and broke my collarbone.

Then came the helicopter ride to South Lake Tahoe....

PS. I got word a certain package arrived at your house today. I hope it brought a smile to your face.

WOW trekie, I do hope you are fine. man you be careful, we need you around a long time!! I know I sound like a mother hen but man I am so proud of you for all the cycling you do. I wish I had a bike, but again there is other things needed more. But you are an inspiration!! I am gong toget a bike this next spring. my boys should be old enough to follow mearound and we are going to start bike riding as a family. I had not been able to do this ( boys are 3 and 4 but next year oh yeah!!!
And when I do I am going to try to push us a little to go farhter and farther, ! Now again be careful ok Have a wonderful day!!!