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  1. #1

    • Minion
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    Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    Does that mean that that's it, it's done?

    I have been talking to this guy for abut 2 weeks and seeing him for one. he really is a great guy, old school gentleman, and i really like him and enjoy spending time with him.
    Tonight, he asked me to come over, i met him roommate we talked and carrie on for about an hour. We headed back to my car, and i was dying for him to kiss me, so i asked him to and he did. This was my first, first kiss. And i know i am super inexperianced, but there was no "spark" for me. I am really worried that thats it, finito. He seemed to really enjoy himself, but i was SO not into it. True i have a lot on my mind. i was really hungry, my mom was expecting me home, we were outside in the open, and i was nervous. So i know it's my fault, but can a spark come in later if there is none now?


  2. #2

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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    given all the circumstances you listed that were distracting you, i'd def give it another try...sometimes firsts are not all they're cracked up to be and if you enjoy his company and like him enough to want to kiss him, then there's something there that's worth giving another shot to imho
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  3. #3

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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    Quote Originally Posted by krystledm View Post
    Does that mean that that's it, it's done?

    I have been talking to this guy for abut 2 weeks and seeing him for one. he really is a great guy, old school gentleman, and i really like him and enjoy spending time with him.
    Tonight, he asked me to come over, i met him roommate we talked and carrie on for about an hour. We headed back to my car, and i was dying for him to kiss me, so i asked him to and he did. This was my first, first kiss. And i know i am super inexperianced, but there was no "spark" for me. I am really worried that thats it, finito. He seemed to really enjoy himself, but i was SO not into it. True i have a lot on my mind. i was really hungry, my mom was expecting me home, we were outside in the open, and i was nervous. So i know it's my fault, but can a spark come in later if there is none now?
    you know, the same thing happened to me too. it's really a long story with what happened to me, but it is a happy ending. i say don't worry about it, 86% of people say their first kiss wasn't what they wanted it to be. and also half of all statistics are made up.

    but seriously, not everyone's first kiss turns out the way they want it to be
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  4. #4

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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    What constitutes a "spark" can be different for every person, as well as different from kiss to kiss. One thing I would definitely recommend is to clear your mind when you kiss someone... forget the world and focus on the person you are with, on the kiss. If you are analyzing things, or thinking of other things, then you could very well miss that "spark"

    Our revels now are ended. These our actors, As I foretold you, were all spirits and Are melted into air, into thin air: And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces, The solemn temples, the great globe itself, Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff As dreams are made on, and our little life Is rounded with a sleep. mycroft16 on Twitter

  5. #5

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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    My mother told me, humourously, that "they're all for practice." Meaning, you have your whole life ahead of you---kiss him again and double check. And if there was/is no spark? That's cool. You learned, grew and are now a bit closer to what you want in your dating life.

    But don't take our word for it. I'm going to side with Mycroft on this one. For each and every one of us, love is in an opinion and is experienced very, very differently from each and every one of us. We cannot tell you how or who you are attrached to-it is not our place and never should be. So take our advice with a grain of salt.

    And instead, just listen to your heart---it's much louder than we'll ever be.

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  6. #6

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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    I think if you enjoy hanging out with him, then you should continue hanging out with him. The circumstances of your first kiss sound a lot less then ideal - so it stands to reason that the kiss itself would also be subpar. Give him another shot, you never know. He could knock your socks off next time!

    One thing I'd do differently - I wouldn't have asked him to kiss me! Something about the waiting and wondering, "Is he going to do it now?" used to always tickle me (when I was a single Sunnygirl). The waiting and anticipation was always my favorite part of the game.
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  7. #7

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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    I agree that you should definitely give it another try, given that everything else is enjoyable for you. Firsts are very often awkward, kisses, meetings, dates.

    "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
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  8. #8

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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    Another vote for giving it another shot.



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  9. #9

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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    Quote Originally Posted by All Aglow View Post
    I agree that you should definitely give it another try, given that everything else is enjoyable for you. Firsts are very often awkward, kisses, meetings, dates.

    I agree, and maybe it was because you were nervous. If the second time you still don't feel a spark then maybe consider only being friends.

  10. #10

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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    I had a friend that went through the very same thing with the first guy she kissed. She found out it was because she liked kissing women, instead.

  11. #11

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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    I was into this chick once and she said there was no spark, so the next time I saw her I gave her a book of matches, said heres 25 sparks, She dug it so much she found her spark, unfortunatly I shortly lost it, isint life funny?

  12. #12

    • Minion
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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mad Madame Momba View Post
    I had a friend that went through the very same thing with the first guy she kissed. She found out it was because she liked kissing women, instead.

    I'm pretty sure I'm not into chicks, but thanks for the idea, lol

    All in all, i have reflected on the whole issue and think i need to try again NOT hungry, tired and distracted. I also think it is a rhythm issue, like hes faster, i'm slower and i was trying to modify and just got self-conscious... idk....*sigh*

    I guess i'll found out tonight

    thanks for the advice ladies (and gents)


  13. #13

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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    Quote Originally Posted by Joshnyah View Post
    I was into this chick once and she said there was no spark, so the next time I saw her I gave her a book of matches, said heres 25 sparks, She dug it so much she found her spark, unfortunatly I shortly lost it, isint life funny?

    That was very cool! And ironic.

  14. #14

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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    I know I'm late to the party, but wanted to throw in my two cents!

    This happened to me too! The guy kissed me on the first date and I was totally caught off guard and not really into it.. I think I too was distracted and my mind was elsewhere. So I also worried that he and I didn't "click" in the kissing department.

    I gave it time, and things settled down for me and when I got more comfortable with him and knew him better, the kissing improved dramatically!

    Definitely give it more time and more chances.
    "And don't underestimate the importance of BODY LANGUAGE!"

  15. #15

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    Re: Girl advice: First kiss no spark?

    When I had my first kiss, my friend asked me if I saw fireworks. I replied that I only saw blue skies, meaning that it wasn't what I had built it up to be in my mind. However, he was a boy who I really liked, and am still good friends with today.

    Definitely give it another try. It gets better with practice!



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