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  1. #1

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    Parental Advice Needed

    (sorry this is long, I really need to vent)


    ok.. I need some advice here. I have a 15 year old son. He is a sophmore in high school. He has always had problems grade wise. I use to blame it on the fact that when he was in grade school, I was a single mom working two jobs and I wasnt able to be there to teach him good study habits. He also had a speech problem that slowed him down. (therapy corrected this) I no longer think these are the reasons.

    He is really struggling this year. He is behind on credits, he is constantly late for his classes. I have been going round and round with the pricipal about all this. I think the school has labled him as lazy but I think he has a learning disability. I have been after the school to test him and I am getting no where!
    The school keeps sending me these letters saying he is in trouble for this or that and when I call to follow up the principal tells me it was a mistake and he is in no trouble.

    My son is very upset because I keep grounding him for his grades but he says he is really trying. He has been going to the homework center and turning in his assignments but fails the tests. I feel bad grounding him now, what if he really is trying his best? I think he ready to give up and his tardies are because he hates going to class.

    I can not afford tutoring and I have to depend on the school for the help. I myself am feeling like I am at wits end. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want him to drop out but this has to be killing his self esteem. Im afraid it wont be long until he starts to cut classes.

    How on earth does a mother stay strong and help her kid stay strong? What support can I give him? Has anyone else had these problems? If so, how did you deal with them?

    Thank you for listening...
    Mellymouse




    (do you think the Finding Nemo Subs line will be under 3 hours by then?)






  2. #2

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    May I sugest you call the school board,and ask them for help? I know that when my son was young I tried everything to get help. I finally went to the school district building and talked with the big wigs. They set up testing right away and found him to have a learning disability! They got him the help he needed . I am so sorry you are having these problems, I hope there is more moms out there with more advice for you

  3. #3

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    Okay I am not a parent but I think I can relate to your son a bit. First of all, I would be ticked if my school labeled me as lazy. Tutors will not help. I had tutors help me in math and I still failed. I mean their help was great for math homework but that did not help me with math tests since their is so many different ways to solve equations that students are expected to learn that it is just ridiculous. Heck I stopped taking math in college.

    Anyway, I do not think grounding him would help. He seems to need help and I think you being able to sit down with him for an hour or two to help him with homework 9no matter if you know how to do it) would be something worth trying. If that does not work, notify his teacher(s) so that they can know that he is having trouble~~most are willing to help. Find out if the school has any special tutoring problems that are free. My college offers free tutoring programs to students under certain circumstances. Most schools also do have some sort of group that meets after school so that students can ask teachers to help them out.

    Those are my only opinions that I can offer though. I hope you find them useful. Keep in their though.

    Oh and when it comes to tests, try my method:

    Test him more often at home. I mean he can study for so many hours, but how will he know what he will remember on tests if he does not know? The best way to figure that out is to test him more often. And the answers he gets wrong he should study for about 15 minutes or so and then take a break for awhile and put that to the back of his mind. Then hours later, you can pop quiz him. And once again, what he does not remember he can study for 15 or so minutes. I do this and score good grades on tests. In fact I did this for my recent mid term and was one of the few to score a high grade on it (87%).

  4. #4

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    The school board is next on my list, I just wasnt sure if they got involved with things like this. I was mainly thinking of calling them because this principal seems to have some problems here. How can a kid not be in trouble but get a letter for saying that he is 5 times in a row? How can they mess up that many times?

    Thanks for letting me know the board does get involved.
    Mellymouse




    (do you think the Finding Nemo Subs line will be under 3 hours by then?)






  5. #5

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    Disney Wrassler - Thank you for you suggestions. He is attending the homework center that has the tutors, but your right. somewhere between the homework and the tests everything gets jumbled for him. How can the school not think there is a problem?

    I think I will also take your advice and meet with the teachers. I wonder if I should meet with them alone or take him to the meetings also.
    Mellymouse




    (do you think the Finding Nemo Subs line will be under 3 hours by then?)






  6. #6

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    Quote Originally Posted by MellyMouse
    Disney Wrassler - Thank you for you suggestions. He is attending the homework center that has the tutors, but your right. somewhere between the homework and the tests everything gets jumbled for him. How can the school not think there is a problem?

    I think I will also take your advice and meet with the teachers. I wonder if I should meet with them alone or take him to the meetings also.

    I am pretty sure taking him would help so they can ask him what he is having problems with. But next time he has a test, you may want to give my method a try. Oh and yes do bring up your principles problem to the school board.

  7. #7

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    Yeah on your score! Good Job!

    That sound like a good idea for the tests. With his spelling, I make him write the words 3 times a day. Then I test him. The ones he misses he must write 3 more times and then thats it until the next day. That seemed to help.
    I wasnt sure how to apply that to his other subjects though. I will definetly try your idea starting with next weeks homework.

    As for the principal, geez man, sometimes I want to just sock the guy!
    Mellymouse




    (do you think the Finding Nemo Subs line will be under 3 hours by then?)






  8. #8

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    definately fight for them to provide appropriate education options for him. I am having to do the same thing- the school has been stalling out on providing an IEP (individual education plan) for my (almost) 14 year old for years now. My oldest is on one and it does work (when he is not causing his own chaos)

    Keep at them- go to as many administrators as you need to- enlist the help of the special educators, get the school psychiatrist.......school social worker, anyone.....because I guarantee you that you HAVE to push and push because the schools do not want to spend the money and time YOU need them to.

    Good luck- stay with it. That's what I'm doing- so it can be done. (I hope )

  9. #9

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    Quote Originally Posted by MellyMouse
    Yeah on your score! Good Job!

    That sound like a good idea for the tests. With his spelling, I make him write the words 3 times a day. Then I test him. The ones he misses he must write 3 more times and then thats it until the next day. That seemed to help.
    I wasnt sure how to apply that to his other subjects though. I will definetly try your idea starting with next weeks homework.

    As for the principal, geez man, sometimes I want to just sock the guy!
    LOL. Don't we all? Thanks for your nice compliment. Oh and is he having trouble in math? I mean that is honestly very hard to study for because every single day you learn something new in math class when you start to think you have it down, they jumble it up again by making us do equations differently. I mean it is really rediculous how much math professors and schools expect us to know. In math I always did good on the Homework but when it came to tests I did bad because I did not understand how they wanted me to solve equations since they taught me so many different ways to solve them and get different answers. I just don't know what can be done to help people out in math and that is one of the hardest courses in school unfortunately .

    Oh and most teachers are more than willing to give their home email and phone numbers to students who need their help. So I suggest getting those from his teacher(s).

  10. #10

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    I thought the schools were suppose to help our kids. This is so frustrating.
    Im sorry to hear someone else is going through this. Why go into the educational system if you really dont want to try? Some of these people really need to rethink their careers.

    Thank you for the encouagment Nephythys.
    Mellymouse




    (do you think the Finding Nemo Subs line will be under 3 hours by then?)






  11. #11

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    Quote Originally Posted by MellyMouse
    I thought the schools were suppose to help our kids. This is so frustrating.
    Im sorry to hear someone else is going through this. Why go into the educational system if you really dont want to try? Some of these people really need to rethink their careers.

    Thank you for the encouagment Nephythys.

    I agree. I honestly do blame the school system. I mean come on! They have tests that determine if your child is smart enough to pass to the next grade (which can be very intimidating), tests that see how much your child knows (pointless for schools to participate in since they should only worry about what they will be teaching the student), etc. Math just frustrates me to the limit. I think I have better chances teaching myself math (with the work I do/will be doing) than having to be forced to learn so many different styles of math that I may never use in the future and unfortunately a lot of kids do bad in school trying to learn certain math equations that they will never use. Okay back to the main topic I too get a little carried away with math lol.

  12. #12

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    I dealt with an older principal who did not care if my son did well or not. I went over his head because he called my boy lazy and worthless!! Guess what? my son had a very high IQ and was bored. He did not do the work and when he did finally do it he did it well. But he was bored . I went over the principals head and that fried him. but I did it and never regretted it. He wanted to be mean I got meaner!!!

  13. #13

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    Melly, I have to say thanks for creating this thread because it is nice to know that their are people out there out there who feel the same frustrations that you do.

  14. #14

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    Quote Originally Posted by hakuna makarla
    I dealt with an older principal who did not care if my son did well or not. I went over his head because he called my boy lazy and worthless!! Guess what? my son had a very high IQ and was bored. He did not do the work and when he did finally do it he did it well. But he was bored . I went over the principals head and that fried him. but I did it and never regretted it. He wanted to be mean I got meaner!!!
    Speaking of principles, I will not go much into detail, the principle at my school suspended me with out even knowing why I was being suspended. Well let me tell you....my mom marched into his office and gave him a spitslapping (screaming so loud that her spit was slapping him in the face) lol.

  15. #15

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    Re: Parental Advice Needed

    Disney - he took math (alegebra)2 semesters last years and summer school. He passed summer school with a D. Even after 3 times he is struggle again. The same class. And I have no clue how to help him there. Im lost everytime he opens his book.

    Its not just the work though. His english teacher has an accent so think, even I have a hard time understanding her. Im not trying to sound down on people with accents but she's teaching english!

    His Spanish teacher is the sweetest woman Ive met but oh my gosh! She loses her train of thought at the drop of a hat! At back to school night, she couldnt even explain her own grading system! How are kids suppose to handle this?
    Mellymouse




    (do you think the Finding Nemo Subs line will be under 3 hours by then?)






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