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  1. #1

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    Sad Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!

    I've been doing research the last two hours and what I've found is not good.
    What I've found is that I am:
    1.A bad parent who medically neglects her child because he isn't walking yet which HELLO! Should say something!Should be seeing 'walking' specialist! But I'm not.I'm not pushy enough to make him walk alone,which he's getting a LOT closer to. Honestly. But the faact that I haven't seen a specialist for him yet is medical neglect and DCFS is going to come and take him away from me. Or something. We feed him. We play with him.We read to him. We make sure he is bathed regularly and has clean clothes to wear. If we notice he is wet/poopy,we change his diaper.We love him.He gets his shots and sees his doctor more often than I personally would like. But apparently that's not enough and DCFS is going to come and take him away because we are *gasp*negligent.

    2.Bugs may be 'developmentally'delayed because he's not walking alone yet. He might be *whisper*retarded slow..or somethng.I dunno. **** it. I'm just going to say retarded. To **** with being politically correct and ****. RE-TAR-DED. There. I said it. My son who I previously thought was smart (not brilliant mind you,but relatively smart)is possibly retarded. And it's all my fault.

    3.Every other kid on the planet (except the retarded ones)who is the same age as the Bug is smarter than my child. Because I am a negligent parent. Yes..I am a bad parent.

    4.Working mothers have more children who are more retarded than mothers who stay at home.So the fact that our lifestyle (which is not extravagant,just..normal)requires that this be a two income household is making our son retarded. Yay me. May I have more guilt please?Thank you sir. May I have another?!

    5.If your child is retarded,you might as well throw in the towel now because once they diagnose your child as 'slow',there is no escaping the label and you have to learn to live with it.

    6.Holy **** am I a bad parent.

    I just want to cry. I feel so bad. I have told Brandon that Bugs needs to go see teh specialist the Dr.K recommended but he keeps putting it off, like it's no big deal.

    *sigh*
    I don't know what to do. I really don't. I wonder if I should get a second opinion. Three mos ago,when Dr.K asked if he was walking and we told him no,he didn't seem concerned. Last month,he's all of sudden very concerned. And I don't quite understnd why.Bugs had been cruising for around 2-3 mos at the time we last saw the dr.He had also begun to take short 'hops' of 2-3 steps alone as well as stand alone for various amounts of time (anywhere from 2-3 secs up to a minute or more). So we figured the dr was overworried and that Bug was, in all actuality,right on track. But now,after doing my research it seems he isn't.

    And because we are 'medically negiligent' DCFS could take him away if my mother decided to take it into her head to 'report' us for that.I'm not saying she would,but I couldn't rule it out either. Who knows what goes on in that harebrained mind of hers?

    TOV


    Hit 'em where it hurts..right in the sales aisle.Help support the 'girl-cotting' of A&F. Pass the word..tell your mom,your sister,your wife and girlfriends.Show your support for women everywhere by supporting the girl-cotting of Abercrombie.

  2. #2

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!



    Whatever is going on, this isn't your fault. Hang in there, get more info. Keep us posted.
    A signature should go here.

  3. #3

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!



    I know it will get better for you, I can understand why your frustrated. Don't blame yourself, your son is beautiful and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

    I will pray for you to have some peace of mind to handle this, you can do it and its not hopeless.

  4. #4

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!

    how old is the Bug? Dont beat yourself up he can stand , he can cruise, he can take some steps...so it seems like all body parts are working. All little ones have their own time line. And what the heck is a "walking specialist"?

  5. #5

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!

    Awwwww hon, do not get bombarded. I know your pain, my grand son talked at 15 months but lost it all all of a sudden, they said" he would never speak, he would never be normal and he would be pretty retarded. Guess what? he is so smart, he speaks normal, and he is acually genius. Some babys walk very late, my sister boy did not walk until he was 20 months ol,d he is now 2 grades higher then normal kids his age. All is well, if you need info or help email me

  6. #6

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!

    Quote Originally Posted by DISNEYJUNKIE
    how old is the Bug? Dont beat yourself up he can stand , he can cruise, he can take some steps...so it seems like all body parts are working. All little ones have their own time line. And what the heck is a "walking specialist"?

    Heck if I know,DJ. But the pedi suggested a 'developmental therapist',whatever that is.
    I keep trying to reassure myself that he'll do it when he's damn good and ready,but it's tough. I've got my mother on one side saying I"m too laid back about parenting the Bug and DH on the other saying I'm not laid back enough.
    I try to listen to everybody and end up pleasing nobody. My mother bought Bugs a walker for his 1st birthday which got used maybe a dozen times. The pedi said he didn't need it, that it would impede his progress in learning to walk. So we haven't used it and Mom wonders why. She's mad at me for NOT using it,saying that THAT is the reason he's not walking yet.

    I also wonder if I should put him in preschool in the fall. There is a lowcost preschool/daycare run by the school district for employees only. I tried to get him in this fall,but there were no spots available.So in Feb or March, I'm going to try again for the fall and see what happens.

    It's hard being a first time parent!

    TOV


    Hit 'em where it hurts..right in the sales aisle.Help support the 'girl-cotting' of A&F. Pass the word..tell your mom,your sister,your wife and girlfriends.Show your support for women everywhere by supporting the girl-cotting of Abercrombie.

  7. #7

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!

    Don't beat yourself up. As frustrating as it is now, I'm sure things will work themselves out. Go see the specialist, it certainly can't hurt!

    And don't be afraid of your son being labeled forever. Let me tell you a little story. My daughter did all her developmental milestones early (i.e. walked at 8 months old). All of them except talking. My stubborn kid said "doggie" at 9 months old and didn't utter another word until she was 3. That's right, three years old. Not "mama" not nothing. She was evaluated by audiologists... no hearing problem. Neurologists... nothing wrong there. Had an IQ test... she scored over 150!!!! But still no talking. Finally we (myself and her doctor) decided to put her in sign language classes. From the age of two to three she spoke in sign language. Then shortly after her third birthday she started speaking in complete sentences and has never shut up.

    After all that, she has NEVER been labeled, it has not held her back in any way. In fact she's at the top of her class! The nub of it is, don't worry about labeling. See the specialist, see if there is something going on for you to be concerned with. If there isn't great! Plus it'll get DCS off your back.

    I'll be thinking about you!!!

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  8. #8

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!

    what my friend hyper said!! go see some one who may give you answers. I was told that most parents do not find out there child is autistic until the age of 3 or 4 or older. I found out real early, and had him with oc thereapists, physical therapists etc. he is awsome and no one could ever tell. better to find out now and go from there and get buisy with helping him learn then wait and see . good luck!

  9. #9

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!

    This is defintely not your fault!!
    Kids develop at different times.
    My oldest walked at 9.5 mths my younger son didn't walk until 15mths.
    My oldest did EVERYTHING early and fast my youngest does everything late and at a snail's pace. He's still not caught up with speech. I am sorry that you are going through this.
    How old is your little one? Go ahead and check out the specialist see what he/she has to say.



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  10. #10

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!

    first off it does not sound like you are neglecting him..he sees the DR regularly, He's fed, clean, changed, and loved...family services will not take him away just because he is not walking yet.

    If your Pedi. recomends a specialist go, what can it hurt...odd are they will give you some tips to help him walk and tell you he is doig just fine...How old is he anyway? Children all walk at different ages...My Daughter was walking at 9 months one of the babies I care for didn't walk until 16 months...they all develop differently.

    and if, just if, you do find out that your baby has some developmental delays, know that it is NOT...did you hear me NOT your fault. Being a working mother does not cause your child to be developmentaly delayed.

    If he is delayed, well then you have a special gift that most mom's don't get, a child that just may need a bit more of your attention, a bit more of your time, just a bit more, and what a wonderful thing to get to be with your child more. Most of us take our children for granted, at least sometimes, but the mom's I know with children with delays do not, they see their child for the blessing that they are each and every day...
    What a wonderful thing to know.



    and again child services will not take him away just because he is not walking.

    and remeber above all He loves you, you are his mommy, and you love him, you will get through whatever is coming.

  11. #11

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!

    He's 19 mos..he'll be 2 in April.

    I feel like this is entirely my fault because I can't afford to stay home with him. We have to have 2 incomes (pitiful as mine is) to get by.We couldn't afford to have just one..it just wouldn't work.

    DH says he'll talk to his mother (an ex-kindergarten teacher and former nurse) and see what she thinks.After all,she does have lots more experience than either of us. He thinks if she's not worried,we shouldn't be worried.

    But I still am. And now I'm up instead of in bed because I can't sleep because of this.

    I feel like I'm not trying hard enough, that there is something more I could be doing but I don't know what it is because I'm new at this.

    I also told DH if he doesn't call the specialist on Monday, I will. I let it slide for a month and I'm not willing to let it slide anymore. I'm just not.

    TOV


    Hit 'em where it hurts..right in the sales aisle.Help support the 'girl-cotting' of A&F. Pass the word..tell your mom,your sister,your wife and girlfriends.Show your support for women everywhere by supporting the girl-cotting of Abercrombie.

  12. #12

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!

    First off calling the specialist is a good idea, if anything it will at least give you peace of mind...

    secondly Why do you think you are at fault? You are not. Being a working mom does not mean you caused this, there is no connection that I am aware of, This has nothing to do with you needing to work.
    procrastibating

  13. #13

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!

    Well I FEEL like I caused it because by the time DH gets home with DS in the evenings (after picking him up at MIL's house),I'm so exhausted I can barely get dinner on the tavle, bathe him and get him into bed. On the weekends, I usually end up spending most of Sat cleaning and Sunday just kind of flopped on the couch trying to pull myself together for another week.

    And he's not in any sort of preschool/daycare..he goes to the MIL's on the days when DH and I both have to work during the day (I always have to work days cuz of my job,but DH doesn't always have to). I feel like maybe he's not being stimulated enough and that he doesn't have enough contact with kids his own age (outside of his cousing IttyBitty) which may have something to do with it.

    TOV


    Hit 'em where it hurts..right in the sales aisle.Help support the 'girl-cotting' of A&F. Pass the word..tell your mom,your sister,your wife and girlfriends.Show your support for women everywhere by supporting the girl-cotting of Abercrombie.

  14. #14

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!

    I wouldn't worry...all kids develope at different rates. My child could walk at 10 mo and was running around before she was two, btu she had trouble speaking. She was not making full sentences and her words were not clear. Another child who was the same age in the nighborhood could speak full sentences clearly, but she could not walk without falling every few steps. My mother and her mother liked to compare them. On day i got sick of it and said, 'you know when they are 16 nobody is going to care who walked or talked first."...that put an end to that....

    go to the specialist, but don't beat yourself up over it.

  15. #15

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    Re: Parental Ranting...feel free to skip over!

    Good for you get that apt with the specialist to ease your mind and fears. Also if working has caused this think for minute how many children would be delayed and not walking , or talking ? Nope its not the cause its nothing that you caused as a parent , go get some sleep. I am positive that you are a wonderful mommy .

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