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  1. #16

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Quote Originally Posted by Nephythys
    Though I agree- you can set the rules as you see fit. To be honest- as a parent, it is GREAT when someone invites you to something you can enjoy as an ADULT without having to watch kids (ok, can you tell *I* am personally excited about this?) and they should appreciate it- rather than trying to hijack your plans.

    Amen, sister!

    But you're probably going to have to make exceptions anyway. I can hear the 8 month-old's mom saying, "well, our baby can't walk yet, so there is no way he'll fall in the lake as we'll be holding him the whole time..." You might have to concede to that one. They are either going to come with the baby anyway, or not come at all. So it just depends on which battle you want to fight.

    That said, you feel free to do whatever you like. The other adults will also have a better time with no children present. It's like when you are flying on a plane and a family comes down the aisle and all you can think is "Please don't sit next to me, please don't sit next to me." Sometimes it works out and everyone has a good flight, sometimes it is miserable. Best to ensure the fun for the greater group if possible.
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  2. #17

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    LOL- you know what this with me? I have 4 kids. With kid one, I hated leaving him. He was my BABY! But by kid 4- even though I love her with all my heart and more- I am perfectly content with walking away from them. Or flying away from them and having time to myself.

    Good lord- that lady with the 8 month old (or will be at that time) might want to cut the cord and enjoy a night out without the kid!

  3. #18

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Just beware, every Dear Abbey type column is filled with stories of people who show up with their kids anyway. New general rule seems to be no one thinks the request applies to them.

  4. #19

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    It is your wedding and should be your way. I had an adults only wedding with the exception of a neice and nephews. They were in the wedding party. It will aggreviate some. One cousin did not show- cannot attend because they could not find a baby sitter, but oh well, give me a break, this is one night not a week. But than that is fine. One less head I need to pay for. I did not have a safetly concern, I just did not want to pay for a plate for a child. I also new that it would make for a more enjoyable experience for the adults with no kids. My ceremony was at 7:30PM, and the reception followed. It was at night. Kids shouldn't be up that late anyway.
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  5. #20

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Quote Originally Posted by Schlumpf
    Just beware, every Dear Abbey type column is filled with stories of people who show up with their kids anyway. New general rule seems to be no one thinks the request applies to them.
    yes- make sure you make it very clear no kids! I had my husbands cousin still ask if she can bring her kids. Geesh- i stated "no children" so no.
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  6. #21

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    I'm going to add to the "You're not being rude" chorus.

    A newborn is different than an 8 month old. I took Lil LuvsLilo to her first wedding when she was 2 weeks old. The bride INSISTED I bring her, all through my pregnancy and even when she came to visit me in the hospital. She slept through the ceremony and through the reception. The bride was so cute, she said that if any one was going to steal her thunder that day, it would be Lil LuvsLilo.

    I'm going to a wedding in a couple of weeks. Lil LuvsLilo's name was on the invitation but she's staying at her grandparents that day. I want to be able to relax and watch the ceremony. It was nice of the bride to include her but she's not going to any weddings until she is old enough to understand what is going on.

  7. #22

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Quote Originally Posted by LuvsLilo
    A newborn is different than an 8 month old. I took Lil LuvsLilo to her first wedding when she was 2 weeks old. The bride INSISTED I bring her, all through my pregnancy and even when she came to visit me in the hospital. She slept through the ceremony and through the reception. The bride was so cute, she said that if any one was going to steal her thunder that day, it would be Lil LuvsLilo.
    Wow - talk about foreshadowing. This is exactly what it's like with my newly pregnant friend. Like I said, we're like sisters, so she means a lot to me. Also, I figured the baby's going to sleep through most of it, and I've even offered her and her husband the keys to our on-site bridal cabin, should they need to feed or take a break, etc.

    As for the 8-and-over kids we're inviting, we've planned to ask the parents to rotate supervision, so that everyone can enjoy themselves kid-free most of the night. We've also planned for a kids' table with games and such, and also special kids' favors. And, we're looking forward to having them join us.

  8. #23

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Its ur wedding as simple as that! You should do what u want its your specail day like everyone else said
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  9. #24

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    When my Aunt got married in 1984 my sister and I were just youngins and we were not invited (I was 5 and she was 3). To be honest, I'm still bitter about this today 22 years later. Especially since we watched the wedding video and noticed there was another child there that was not related to the bride and groom. I don't know I just think family should always be welcome at weddings even if they are children. Fastforward 20 years and I absolutely welcomed children to our wedding. I just think getting married is about starting your own family and children are naturally a part of that.

    I can see why your friend would be bothered by one baby being invited, but not another (since really there's no danger of the 8 month old crawling off into the lake). You're kind of playing favorites, but if you are handsdown closer to the pregnant friend than the older baby friend, than I think that's fine. And it is pretty tacky of the other friend to actually say she wanted to show off the baby!

    BUT, you're the bride and it's your event invite whomever you like. Be prepared to have some people be bitter over it though for many years to come (Gosh darn that Aunt!), though.

  10. #25

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    I do hope the parents of over-8 kids actually *do* rotate the kid-watching and don't just pawn their kid off on the one or two parents that get stuck there.

    Good point that people will ignore the no-children request. How rude of them. I think especially those with newborns will want to bring them, both that the parents will think they'll "be no trouble" and they "can't leave them". Might be a good idea to have a plan for the toddlers and newborns who are brought along. As I see it, you can either deny those parents attendance at the wedding, put a special place for them, away from the regular crowd, or let them bring the kids anyway.
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  11. #26

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Very true about having family close. With our case, our friends are much closer to us than family. In fact, only 10% of our guests are actual relatives.

    Am I playing favorites?? Yep. I'll admit that in this case. But, it's true that my pregnant friend is closer to me than most of my family, so I felt it important enough.

    The other friend has never even bothered to visit with us, even when her and her husband came out here two years ago on vacation. They "couldn't make time to meet up". But, now that they have a kid, they want to come and show her off. That's why I'm not really feeling too bad about our choice.

    But, it is frustrating. We're paying for our own wedding, so family demands are really secondary to what we want. That said, I think if I get any more balking about the "no toddlers" thing, I'll simply say, "Oh, ok, then. That means you'll be happy to provide on-site sitting service, right? Let me get a couple service numbers for you to call and set that up."

  12. #27

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Quote Originally Posted by alphabassetgrrl
    As I see it, you can either deny those parents attendance at the wedding, put a special place for them, away from the regular crowd, or let them bring the kids anyway.
    The friend who's in charge of our day-of coordinating would have no problems with the first option. In fact, she'd probably take pride in it. But, actually, I'm not tooooooo worried about the people on our guest list dishonoring our request. That's why they're on the guest list in the first place.

    I'm thinking the new mom with the 8-month-old will probably get too disgruntled to come out anyway. Her loss - more food and booze for others.

    (Yes, I have almost no sympathy when it comes to our wedding. )

  13. #28

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    You have every right to say no kids! Our wedding video has a part you can't hear because of an 8 mos old baby. Bugged me that the mom didn't take the kid out! Some people loose their common sense when they have kids!

  14. #29

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Quote Originally Posted by alphabassetgrrl
    I do hope the parents of over-8 kids actually *do* rotate the kid-watching and don't just pawn their kid off on the one or two parents that get stuck there.

    Good point that people will ignore the no-children request. How rude of them. I think especially those with newborns will want to bring them, both that the parents will think they'll "be no trouble" and they "can't leave them". Might be a good idea to have a plan for the toddlers and newborns who are brought along. As I see it, you can either deny those parents attendance at the wedding, put a special place for them, away from the regular crowd, or let them bring the kids anyway.
    I think alphabassetgrrl has the right idea here, if someone is rude enough to deny your requirement of no young children. Deny them entry to your wedding, you don't need to be rude about it simply have someone pull them aside aand say that the Birde and Groom specifically said no young children and we are sorry but for their comfort I cannot allow you in. It's your wedding your friends should respect your wishes.

    Good Luck

  15. #30

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Quote Originally Posted by twinmom
    You have every right to say no kids! Our wedding video has a part you can't hear because of an 8 mos old baby. Bugged me that the mom didn't take the kid out! Some people loose their common sense when they have kids!
    I missed my best friend's wedding because I did my part as a parent. Lil LuvsLilo was the ringbearer. She was only 2 years old so the plan was for her to do her job and then sit down with me. She did her job but didn't want to sit down so I had to snatch her up and take her around the back of the house. It sucks I missed seeing the ceremony but there was no way I was going to ruin my friend's special day.

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