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  1. #31

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    I appologize for butting in, but...

    A perspective comming from a male point of view..

    1. It is your wedding, and you should do what ever makes the day most special to you. For most people, there is only one wedding day. So invite who you want and don't invite others.

    2. I have been at weddings where children of any age (infancy to teen) caused so much comotion and made the wedding and reception not at all that enjoyable. Crying infants that the parents refuse to leave the room with, and children and teens who just create an unpleasant enviornment. I've also been to weddings where the children were well behaved. Really it is up to the parents of children no matter what the age to see that they behave and do not become the center of attention. The bride a groom should be the center of attention.

    3. If someone says they cannot come unless they can bring their newborn, or 8-month old or what-ever, ask them nicely to please try to find a sitter for just this once.

    4. If you are as important to your friends, as you feel they are to you, I believe they will understand and respect your wishes. The ones who feel you are an important part of their lives will make arrangemens, the others will not.

    In the end, it all comes down to number 4 doesn't it?

    Congratulations, and I hope you have a very special day! And a wonderful life together!

    Just MHO, YMMV

    CU@DL

    Andy
    Last edited by CUatDL; 03-02-2006 at 05:27 PM.

  2. #32

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    i work weddings & see kids who are just melting down by 8pm. hmmm...wonder why? these poor little ones are kept out all night by parents who want to have fun with their friends (which is understandable), but bring their kids instead of getting a sitter.

    i think if anything, the kids can come to the ceremony, but need to go for the reception. there are exceptions, but most receptions are glorified parties. they're either too fancy or too rowdy for kids...grown-ups drinking, dancing, having conversations inappropriate for kids to hear, etc. unless it's specifically advertised as a kid-friendly wedding, i don't bring pixie kid with me!
    <o>

  3. #33

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Small Children at Wedding are fine as long as they are served with a side of tartar sauce.
    -----------------------------------------------
    DISNEYLAND: Greatest Man-Made Place On Earth

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  4. #34

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    [QUOTE=Disneyphile
    As for the 8-and-over kids we're inviting, we've planned to ask the parents to rotate supervision, so that everyone can enjoy themselves kid-free most of the night. We've also planned for a kids' table with games and such, and also special kids' favors. And, we're looking forward to having them join us. [/QUOTE]

    That sounds lovely, DP. My ten year old daughter would love a special table like that at a wedding! Kids that age are the perfect age for your speciall day. They'll wonderful time with all of the time and thought you and Ken have put into YOUR day!

  5. #35

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Your Day...Your Money....Your choice! I think you are even being quite nice letting kids come that are over 8 (Wolfette included), do what ever you want....I know I did when it was my "Special" day! Wolfette was the only child at my Wedding..........
    Mom, remember, it's not what a person is like on the outside that counts,
    it's what they are like in their HEART!


    - Wolfette

  6. #36

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    I missed my best friend's wedding because I did my part as a parent. Lil LuvsLilo was the ringbearer. She was only 2 years old so the plan was for her to do her job and then sit down with me. She did her job but didn't want to sit down so I had to snatch her up and take her around the back of the house. It sucks I missed seeing the ceremony but there was no way I was going to ruin my friend's special day.
    Good for you! I'm sorry you missed it but you did the right thing! My husband missed my nephew's wedding because he was watching our two (they were in the wedding but we weren't going to have them stay in the santuary during the ceremony).

  7. #37

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Another vote for No kids!! Sadly, people will complain and be bitter- but WHO CARES!! Do it your way. How many times in a person's life do you get to have a whole day devoted to you and what you want? Not many.
    “In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.” -Michael Jackson



  8. #38

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    It just amazes me how someone can turn your wedding into an event all about them!

  9. #39

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    As everyone else has said, it's not rude, it's your wedding and you should be able to have things any way you want. It's nobody's place to try and change your plans or requests and it's not fair of them to expect otherwise.

    What would bother me the most is not even that she wants to bring her 8 month old, but she wants to capitalize on your special day as a way to show off her daughter. As NGU said, this is not about them!

  10. #40

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    The minute I saw the title of this thread, I thought "not a good mix." Even if they don't run around, there really is no way to keep a child under, say, four, from crying or talking during the ceremony. I see this all the time -- someone with a child of about two trying repeatedly to quiet it and finally taking the child away -- it's a very distracting process for everyone else. If there are small children there, it's guaranteed there will be unwanted noises during the ceremony. And you're right about the newborn - they sleep, and when they do cry it isn't that loud. An 8 month old, on the other hand, won't want to be held the whole time, will fight to get down, won't be capable of keeping quiet and will be very loud. Your audience will be distracted, and YOU may even be distracted, which would be very sad. However, if you do make exceptions for anyone's child, there may be repercussions for which you must be prepared. Weddings are notorious for causing breaches between guests themselves, and between guests and the wedding couple, because somebody felt slighted. Maybe you could use the excuse that the newborn is being nursed, and needs to eat frequently.

    Notice that there isn't anyone in this thread who thinks you're wrong about not wanting small children there. It's accepted wedding etiquette.

  11. #41

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    I'm just going to chime in here...

    It's your wedding, and frankly I think you are being VERY generouse to allow older children to come...

    I have never brought either of my children to a wedding,(I would not want them to disrupt but also I would not want them in such and adult atmosphere) or any other adult event, as someone else said, receptions are usualy big parties, with alcohol and adults being adults, running the range from very formal to very casual but seldom are apropriate for children...as earlier mentioned alcohol, adult conversation and children do not mix.

    Stick to your request, do not allow children if you do not want them, and as someoneelse said, if someone balks, give them the number to a local childcare agency, you may even want to include that in the invitations if they have not yet been sent out.
    (ie: As this will be an adult only event we have included the numbers of 2 babysitting agencys in the area for your convienence)
    procrastibating

  12. #42

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Quote Originally Posted by twinmom
    You have every right to say no kids! Our wedding video has a part you can't hear because of an 8 mos old baby. Bugged me that the mom didn't take the kid out! Some people loose their common sense when they have kids!
    Derek video taped a wedding that had this exact same problem. Kid screamed through the whole ceremony!!!!

    Dp, it's your day. You can make any exceptions that you want for your wedding. If you do not want kids, then don't have them there. It's a saftey issue, and yes, her child won't "fall in the lake" but will she keep her kid quiet if she starts making a considerable amount of noise during the ceremony?
    Katie
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  13. #43

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Quote Originally Posted by PanTheMan
    Small Children at Wedding are fine as long as they are served with a side of tartar sauce.
    I would have thought tatar sauce a little casual, maybe a mint aspic or a
    delicate hollandaise?
    A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
    In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

  14. #44

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    One more vote for "no kids". As stated earlier, I too am thrilled at a chance to go somewhere sans children and I also think it's generous of you to allow kids as young as 8 years knowing this is an issue for you.

    I've brought babies, toddlers, and small children to weddings where kids were allowed and I've been to weddings w/o kids when they weren't allowed. Either way is fine with me. It's up to the couple, not the guests.
    I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.
    That explains the trouble that I'm always in...

  15. #45

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    Re: Small Children and Weddings

    Quote Originally Posted by bejeweledcat
    I would have thought tatar sauce a little casual, maybe a mint aspic or a
    delicate hollandaise?
    I prefer mine with melted butter. Mmmm.
    I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.
    That explains the trouble that I'm always in...

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