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  1. #1

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    What's in a name....?

    Ok...I've been going back and forth whether or not I want to change my last name when I marry. The feminist in me cries, "why should <I> take <his> name?". I am not going to hyphenate, that's not an option. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but as of right now, he seems ok either way.

    Currently, why I don’t want to take his name:

    - My 'ethnic' last name is currently one of the few things that ties me to my heritage and family origins. That means a lot to me.

    - It fits well with my first name. His doesn't. I would be going from a 4 syllable to a 1 syllable! That’ll be quite a change.

    - My initials will then be E.T. I'm going to be E.T.

    - Bad thing if I don't is, the kids get his, while I keep my own.

    - That name is his mom's name. I don't want that same title of Mrs...

    - I just plain like it...it's ME!


    Part of me wants to. I know it would mean a lot to him…and me for that matter. Am I just being vain and selfish about the whole thing? What to do....what to do...?
    Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
    Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!
    Marge: [reading from the test box] "Ahoy, Maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you! If purple ye see, no baby thar be!"
    Homer: So, which is it? Blue or purple?
    Marge: Pink.
    Homer: D'oh!
    Marge: "If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail!"

  2. #2

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    My best friend has been married for 10+ years. She just changed her name, like last year. She waited until she was done with school, established herself in her career, and then when they started talking about having kids she switched over in an act of solidarity (for lack of a better term).
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  3. #3

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    While I'm terminally single and haven't had this issue, I have thought about it. If I ever get married, I'm probably keeping my name even though it is hideous and unpronouncable.

    1. Just cuz I get married doesn't mean I would be a different person.

    2. I'm 30, I've had this name for this long, its just who I am.

    3. I wouldn't want my name and my daughter's to be different.

    4. Call me crazy, but it smacks a little of "ownership".

    5. Hyphenating would be out of the question, ANYTHING hyphenated with my bizarro last name would seem idiotic.

    Quote Originally Posted by Senator David Wu (D-OR)
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  4. #4

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    As an aside, I changed my name right away. I think my new name is cool. (Long, and hard to spell, but cool.) You could hyphenate, or my other girlfriend dropped her middle name, made her maiden name her middle name, and took on her husband's name as well.
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  5. #5

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    I switched my name over quickly. Unlike you, I was not attached to my maiden name. I couldn't wait to get rid of it, even though it was the only thing that identified me as Hispanic....which had nothing to do with why I didn't like it. I just didn't think it was fair to carry a name of a man and family who opted to have nothing to do with me.

    My mom, aunt, and both of my SILs all put their maiden names as their middle names. You don't have to get rid of it entirely, but using it as a middle name is an option.

    I grew up with a different last name than my mom and brother and that was a bit of problem at times. I don't know why, but it was... People would frequently tell me my brother wasn't my brother because we had different last names or would address my mother by her first married name (my last name) after she married my stepdad.
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  6. #6

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    Totally agree with you A_hyb. That whole "I own you" rings in my ear.....even though I know that's not the case. Just kinda lingers, yah know?

    I don't want to hyphonate. Nor do I want to get rid of my middle name. My last name is long as is...and to add a few more letters will just tip the scales
    Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
    Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!
    Marge: [reading from the test box] "Ahoy, Maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you! If purple ye see, no baby thar be!"
    Homer: So, which is it? Blue or purple?
    Marge: Pink.
    Homer: D'oh!
    Marge: "If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail!"

  7. #7

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    Well I say keep yours unless E Tix REALLY will be bothered by it. My best friends wife kept her last name for pretty much the same reasons as you and that certainly was never an issue with my friend and they've been married for 13 years. No kids though.

  8. #8

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    But... he has such a cute last name!

    If you don't want to change it... don't!
    Is there some law that you can't give the kids your last name or change it someday or something? I dunno how that all works.

    But I can't wait until I can change my last name! Unless my future hubby has a hideous last name! But I don't have a strang ethnic tie to it, and I have a brother to carry it on.
    Good morning, son
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    Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
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    I knew you'd feel the same things...





  9. #9

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    Quote Originally Posted by NeverNeverland
    But... he has such a cute last name!
    I'm glad you like it! But, honestly, NNL...can you see me with his last name? Sounds like a food product!
    Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
    Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!
    Marge: [reading from the test box] "Ahoy, Maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you! If purple ye see, no baby thar be!"
    Homer: So, which is it? Blue or purple?
    Marge: Pink.
    Homer: D'oh!
    Marge: "If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail!"

  10. #10

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    aw you arent being vain OR selfish..i didnt change my last name ever and now im glad i didnt LOL

    you like your last name I would keep it!


  11. #11

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    After I got married, we were both going to hypenate our names. I've detested my name since the dawn of speech and I knew I wanted it to happen. However, 9.11 happened first, and as such, paranoia. Unlike straight folks, where you sign a paper, we had to go to court and explain why 2 men were changing our names. And pay lotsa bucks to do it.

    Lovely, so, instead, we changed all the names on magazines, and all other items. So legally, we have been recognized, but we've not changed our names.

    But I understand your dilemma, and frankly, if you are cool with your name, stick with it. It's a difficult process, updating everyone and then practicing when someone calls your new last name and remembering to respond! A name is a powerful thing. If your love for each is true (I'm sure it is...you're getting married after all!), the name part isn't the main concern. It's being a couple and having a relationship that works.

    My mother got married a second time and waited a good five years before legally changing hers. She had been on her own for so long, it was easier to keep her business associates in line with previous last name.

    So good luck on your decision. And besides, it should matter what we think...we'll always know you as "Cuzco-topia" as it is!

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  12. #12

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    Sounds like you've abandoned the name combining idea, Cuz.

    In all honesty, do what you feel in your heart. You still have time to decide, so play around with the notion of being an E.S.T. instead of a E.S.K.. Maybe you'll discover that the happiness of being married spills over into wanting to change your name, and maybe you'll see that you'd rather be an E.K. for now. I know I'm not really saying anything new here, but I thought I'd just put in my .02˘ here...






  13. #13

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    My Mom has been married twice, the first time she changed her name (in the 60's you didn't really have a choice)and kept it after the divorce. The second time in the 80's, she hyphenated on her legal documents. She still goes by her original married name. That's who she is and that is who she's going to stay.

    I will keep my own name. Although there are distant cousins, for all intents and purposes, I am the last of my family. I also like my name. Good and bad, it's who I am. I can't imagine anwering to something else.
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  14. #14

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    I would RATHER combine our names into a new name! I was serious about that! For one, it will still have a similar ring to it as each of our own. Plus, how symbolic would it be to make a new name for our new time together (sappy, I know). I'm telling you....Treatakides! Or Karitreates!

    I like being E.K. I can't write a cursive T for the life of me!

    Quote Originally Posted by fastpassmountain
    Sounds like you've abandoned the name combining idea, Cuz.

    In all honesty, do what you feel in your heart. You still have time to decide, so play around with the notion of being an E.S.T. instead of a E.S.K.. Maybe you'll discover that the happiness of being married spills over into wanting to change your name, and maybe you'll see that you'd rather be an E.K. for now. I know I'm not really saying anything new here, but I thought I'd just put in my .02&#162; here...
    Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
    Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!
    Marge: [reading from the test box] "Ahoy, Maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you! If purple ye see, no baby thar be!"
    Homer: So, which is it? Blue or purple?
    Marge: Pink.
    Homer: D'oh!
    Marge: "If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail!"

  15. #15

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    Re: What's in a name....?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cuzco-topia
    I'm telling you....Treatakides! Or Karitreates!
    I'm sorry Cuzco, Treatakides sounds like the name a pedophile would choose!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Senator David Wu (D-OR)
    Don't let faux-klingons send real Americans to war!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheHousingBubbleBlog
    Everyone says that the U.S. doesn’t make anything anymore, but that’s not exactly true. We’re the world leader in the manufacturing of bull****.

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