Ladies, I have reached the end of my rope.
Let me preface this by saying how much I love my husband. He is a dear man and I am lucky to have him. That being said, he is still a man. I have never wanted to be a wife who nags. I don't want to be a pain in the neck. However, I am getting b!tchy and naggy and I don't like it.
I have come to the conclusion that I have been trained, and I don't like it. My husband has trained me to pick up after him, take care of everything around the house, and take good care of him. He works very hard and I don't really mind it. However, I also work very hard, currently I work one full time job, one part time job, and do some independant contracting on the side. Once summer is over I will also be a full time student.
You can see how being a mother to my husband could get a little old. I have told him over and over again that I don't have time to do everything and could he possibly help me out. I then get the song and dance of "I am tired when I get home (so am I)" I don't feel like doing anything after work (you think I do?)" "I don't know what you need help with (um, look around)" "Just tell me what you need help with (I have told you a hundred times!)" I am at the point where I am tired of nagging and I am tired of feeling bitter everytime I have to pick up after him or do something he is perfectly capable of doing and should do for himself.
So I had an idea today, to try an experiment and see if he notices, to see if I can train him. Its simple really. I just want to train him to pick up after himself. To put his clothes in the hamper, to not walk in the door and just drop everything, to throw away his garbage. You know, simple basic things that I always do for him. But starting now, I will not do any of it. I am not going to make a big deal about it or tell him that I have made this change, I am simply just not going to clean up after him any longer. I will wash his clothes, but only if they make it into the hamper, won't pick up after him. You get the idea. Maybe when he needs clothes for work and none are clean, or when he can't walk through the front door because 10 pairs of his shoes are in the way, he will get the idea.
So ladies, (and gents) what do you think? Am I crazy? Is this something I just have to learn to live with, or can I change this one little thing? Do any of you have the same problem? I came here mostly to vent, but also to hold myself accountable. After a few days I might just get tired of looking at the mess and clean it up myself, but you guys have to keep me strong. I can't cave until he notices.
I really don't want to change anything major, I just need him to see how unfair it is that he takes for granted that he never has to do anything. We don't have kids yet, but I can't even think about it when he is so helpless himself. So I guess we will see how long it takes before he notices. My guess: 2 weeks.