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  1. #1

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    Question for you other moms...

    If you are at the park with your child and other kids (around the same age) are throwing wood chips at your kid while their mom is on her cell phone, would you go reprimand the kids or talk to the mom?

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    Re: Question for you other moms...

    I'd go talk to the mom because I really don't feel comfortable disiciplining other people's children when the mom is right there. But if the mom wasn't there, I'd say to the kids "Please stop throwing wood chips at my child" in a very firm voice.

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    Re: Question for you other moms...

    Quote Originally Posted by Princess Buttercup View Post
    I'd go talk to the mom because I really don't feel comfortable disiciplining other people's children when the mom is right there. But if the mom wasn't there, I'd say to the kids "Please stop throwing wood chips at my child" in a very firm voice.
    Actually, I'd go with firmly telling the kids to stop throwing the woodchips while the mother is there AND loud enough for her to hear you. To me, that's not disciplining someone else's child, that's protecting your own.
    Last edited by Tui; 09-30-2006 at 01:50 PM.
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  4. #4

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    Re: Question for you other moms...

    Here's the whole story. The boytwin and I went to the park the other morning after we dropped the girltwin at school. There was a mom with her two boys there; the kids were about 4 and 5 years old. Well, every time my son would try to climb on the toy thingy, the older boy would yell at him, "No, we're playing pirates." My son would ignore him and climb up to go on the slide. Finally after the 3rd or 4th time of this kid saying that, the mom told him to share. When he did it again, my son came over and told me the boy wouldn't let him up. I told him that the boy wasn't the boss and he could go on it. I said he should show them his shirt (it has pirates on it). The mom did tell her boys to be nice, ask my son his name and see if he wanted to play. Did they do that? Noooo, they then started running away when my son would come near them, saying, "Look out here he comes!" I have to say my son was handling it great -- just kept on playing and not worrying what they were doing. Well, then all three of them were sitting under the play structure and the little brats started throwing wood chips at my son. Their mom was on her cell phone and wasn't paying attention so I went over and said, "Knock it off! You need to stop throwing things at him!" I wasn't yelling, but did say it in a firm voice. The older kid looked embarrassed and said okay. I then was telling them in a calmer voice that my son was just wanting to show them that he had pirates on his shirt and he thought they'd want to see it since they had been playing pirates. Well, (this is where I lost it!) the mom then says, "Um, you can talk to me if you have a problem. You don't need to yell at them." I told her I did have a problem with her boys throwing stuff at my son and she said something to her boys about playing somewhere else. I said, "Never mind, we're leaving." I then got pretty bitchy and said to my son, "Come on let's go play where there aren't any rude boys." I was sooooo pissed at that point! My son was being soooooo good! He could have started throwing stuff back at them but he didn't. He could have shoved the brat when he was blocking his way up the stairs but he didn't!!! Yeah, I could have just left without saying anything but I was too pissed.

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    Re: Question for you other moms...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tui View Post
    Actually, I'd go with firmly telling the kids to stop throwing the woodchips while the mother is there AND loud enough for her to hear you. To me, that's not disciplining someone else's child, that's protecting your own.

    Yeah, but it's protecting myself too because most moms have a mother bear instinct that can kick in if they feel their child is under attack especially by a grown up!


    Trust me, a lot of moms don't have the maturity /ability think their little Susie or Tommy could possibly have done anything to provoke another child.

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    Re: Question for you other moms...

    Quote Originally Posted by twinmom View Post
    Here's the whole story. The boytwin and I went to the park the other morning after we dropped the girltwin at school. There was a mom with her two boys there; the kids were about 4 and 5 years old. Well, every time my son would try to climb on the toy thingy, the older boy would yell at him, "No, we're playing pirates." My son would ignore him and climb up to go on the slide. Finally after the 3rd or 4th time of this kid saying that, the mom told him to share. When he did it again, my son came over and told me the boy wouldn't let him up. I told him that the boy wasn't the boss and he could go on it. I said he should show them his shirt (it has pirates on it). The mom did tell her boys to be nice, ask my son his name and see if he wanted to play. Did they do that? Noooo, they then started running away when my son would come near them, saying, "Look out here he comes!" I have to say my son was handling it great -- just kept on playing and not worrying what they were doing. Well, then all three of them were sitting under the play structure and the little brats started throwing wood chips at my son. Their mom was on her cell phone and wasn't paying attention so I went over and said, "Knock it off! You need to stop throwing things at him!" I wasn't yelling, but did say it in a firm voice. The older kid looked embarrassed and said okay. I then was telling them in a calmer voice that my son was just wanting to show them that he had pirates on his shirt and he thought they'd want to see it since they had been playing pirates. Well, (this is where I lost it!) the mom then says, "Um, you can talk to me if you have a problem. You don't need to yell at them." I told her I did have a problem with her boys throwing stuff at my son and she said something to her boys about playing somewhere else. I said, "Never mind, we're leaving." I then got pretty bitchy and said to my son, "Come on let's go play where there aren't any rude boys." I was sooooo pissed at that point! My son was being soooooo good! He could have started throwing stuff back at them but he didn't. He could have shoved the brat when he was blocking his way up the stairs but he didn't!!! Yeah, I could have just left without saying anything but I was too pissed.
    Ugh, I would be pissed. As far as telling the kids off, that's what I would have done. Though, if the mom would have told me to talk to her, this is where my stubborness would have kicked in. I would have told her "Well, if you were watching your kids and paying attention to what they were doing, I wouldn't have to tell you anything"

    But you know me, always willing to pick a fight.
    What an idiot....

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  7. #7

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    Re: Question for you other moms...

    I've done that plenty of times - I just make a general statement like, "don't throw that" - I've also learned that with little kids, saying Please means they have a choice.

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    Re: Question for you other moms...

    Quote Originally Posted by twinmom View Post
    If you are at the park with your child and other kids (around the same age) are throwing wood chips at your kid while their mom is on her cell phone, would you go reprimand the kids or talk to the mom?
    If another child was throwing wood chips at my child, I would stop them, no doubt, no question. If mom was right there and doing nothing, that would not stop me. Obviously she was more interested in her phone call than her children, and I certainly wouldn't want to interrupt such an important call!

    I've never been afraid to speak up and help another child learn that what they are doing is not okay. I try to do it in such a way that they are not embarrassed. If the parent is totally oblivious to what is going on, then absolutely, another adult needs to help.

    In all my years of parenting I've done a lot of "helping" and I cannot recall ever having a parent get mad at me.
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  9. #9

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    Re: Question for you other moms...

    I would most likely tell the kids to stop throwing the wood chips in a firm voice. Of course I'm used to telling things like this to other people's kids since I teach kinder. I have had to ask children to stop doing this, that or the other thing, when they follow their older siblings into class. Most parents understand that I'm in charge of the classroom so that's a little different. My son's just getting to the age where he's starting to interact with other kids so I'm sure this will come up one of these days while were at the park.
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  10. #10

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    Re: Question for you other moms...

    I guess that the teacher in me just couldn't sit by any longer watching her kids treat my son so poorly. I let them get away with the crap until they started with the wood chips! I was so stunned that she would be mad at me for telling her kid to knock it off. I can tell you that if the situation were reversed, I would be falling all over myself apologizing to the other mother for having to discipline my kid!

  11. #11

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    Re: Question for you other moms...

    Karla's answer......
    Hey kid, please do not hit my kid again, thanks ,if the boy keeps it up ( this has been known to happen ) yoo mom, your kids being rotten !!! deal with him... the mom ...... whats he doing??....... hitting my kid, being naughty, and trying to hurt his feelings. I want it to stop. thank you hon I do not care who it is, no one harms my boys, my Rachal or my space. I am not afraid of that mom, or a dad for that matter. hey I have taken a few on in my day... I am a mamma bear, mess with my kids and you take the bear by the snout! Now grant it, I am nice, I will use a good but strict voice, but if it does not stop and the mom is oblivous to it or does not care, I am all over you~!!
    Last edited by Hakuna Makarla; 09-30-2006 at 09:09 PM.

  12. #12

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    Re: Question for you other moms...

    I think you handled it perfectly. I would have said something to the child, too. In my experience, hearing that they need to stop from another grown up often has better results to stop the unwanted behavior than hearing it from their own parent. I would be fine with someone saying something to my kids, as long as they didn't touch them or scream at them. Even a raised voice, if it's needed, is fine with me. I mean, I am normally paying attention to them but if I'm focused on one and another does something that I didn't see, you better believe I'm okay with someone telling them to knock it off. You never know how the other Mom will react, but if it's harming my child, it's a chance I'm willing to take.

    "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
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  13. #13

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    Re: Question for you other moms...

    I would have done exactly the same thing. I don't have a problem talking to other kids about their behavior toward my daughters. I never have. I've had to do it about 10 times over the years. We've also left situations because parents don't parent their kids and I hate my kids seeing that.

    I also wouldn't have a problem putting my kids in a time out or going home if they threw something at another kid! They'd be in so much trouble. They're not even allowed to play with sticks or gravel--it would be such an impulse to throw them!

    I also would have made the snide remark when walking away. That's what cracks me up. I wouldn't have been able to control myself, I would have had to say something like that.

    I'm sure your blood was boiling, I know exactly how you feel, but rest assured, there wasn't a whole lot more you could have done!

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