I don't know many of you here, but thought it would help to write about my current situation. If could get could come good thoughts my way or help someone else it will be worth spilling my guts on the internet.
I have left my husband. We have been together for 13 years. Married for 2. I decided to leave because I was not happy and felt nothing I did would make it better. Anytime a conflict would come up, my husband blamed me. When I asked him to go to see a therapist, he said "Why? I don't have the problem". He was unwilling to take responsibility for his part in the relationship. I felt that he put someone or something before me and didn't think my pain as something he had anything do with. I'm not perfect and I will admit that at times I can be a nagging bitch. But I am willing to work on making things better. I went to a Therapist and starting to work on me. How can I make things better? I was looking for him to make things better, when it really starts with me. And I can admit that.
He is the type of person that is content with what comes to him. Whereas I'm the type of person that seeks and goes after what I want. He is always turning things around and making me feel bad. I want someone to kiss me and hug me and share my dreams. I stayed with him as long as I did because I was afraid of being alone. I settled. An ongoing conflict was that he wouldn't tell me I was cute. A small request, silly one might say. However, he felt that he didn't have to tell me. That I should know how he feels. But doesn't everyone want their husband to tell them? Is that too much to ask? He wouldn't do little things for me that he knew I liked, just because of his pride or stubborness.
I have a son from a previous relationship. He is 14. Even though "Bob" and I had been together for many years, he was never the father he could have been to my son. They were more buddies. He never comitted to "Johnny". They still go see each other, but "Bob" rarley attended school events, or did what I think a father should do. Maybe I gaurded "Johnny" to protect him. But "Bob" tended to find the faults in both of us than nurture.
Now that I've moved out, my family has admitted that they never liked him. Now they tell me. They say they never thought "Bob" was good enough for me. They have been VERY supportive and I know I have made the right decision. But this is the most painful and difficult thing EVER. I keep thinking maybe it wasn't that bad, but he still fights with me when we speak. I moved out and he even wanted to help me pack. If the love of my life was moving, I would do anything possible to stop them. He did nothing.
On top of all of this, he never understood Disneyland. I should have known then, he wasn't the one.
Thanks for reading, it has been helpful to write. Anyone else that has gone through a divore, I would love some tips. I know I will make it and my son and I will be better for it. I am looking forward to the future, but we must make it through this swamp of muck to get to the otherside.