Ok guys - this is funny, creepy and worth sharing....ok, not so funny....but still....whoa!
Here is my ad-
and I get this CREEPY response-Hi-
I have a friend who put up internet personals. She met alot of really creepy guys before meeting the love of her life. I have no illusions that this is a magical quick answer for my dating life, but hey, why not. If it goes bad I can always delete the ad and block the creepy emails.
But enough of that-you want to know about me. Well, First off, I'm a mom. Of four. Yes, four. So, if you are a man who has even the smallest doubt that you would or could get involved with a mother of four- then stop here and good luck in finding your dreamgirl. Life is simply too short to spend your time pursuing something that you really don't want.
I have three sons, 15, 13 and 11, and my daughter is 5. Clearly they are the main driving force in my life. And while I am not "daddy-shopping", I am hoping to find someone who might in fact, want to audition for the job. But that is not the main goal here-my children will grow up and leave- so you would have to like ME enough to stick around.
As for myself- I'm a tall 5'11" red- blonde stubborn and determined sort. Blue eyes, but don't let that fool you. Intelligent, and sometimes wordy to a fault. *grin* Average build- want to get in better shape, no lies about that. Hey, you have four children and see how you fare. *wink*
I have a professional job, I work 40 hours a week and otherwise I spend alot of time with my kids and my family. I moved home when I was going through my divorce and I am still here. The support and love of family has been one of the main things that helps me get through.
I play video games- with my kids, without my kids. I love to read, I'm a fan of Sci-Fi (Farscape rules) and an admitted Trekkie. I go to renaissance festivals and I like to dress up at Halloween. I love my "toys" my computers, my cameras, and my games. I consider myself creative, like to do crafts and sew. I LOVE Disney- so should you!
So as for what I want- I have this to offer:
Wanted: Tall and attractive Prince Charming. Must be kind, patient, affectionate and posessing of a grand sense of humor. Making me laugh is a must. Physical strength is required, no wimps please.
Must like kids, and be willing to roll about in the grass and be as silly as can be. Must understand that fear does not equal respect. Should value a child as a treasure and not a burden. Must be willing to dance with my daughter and be a good role model for my sons.
Intelligence is a must! Conversation skills should be highly developed. Needs to know how to listen. Practiced at empathy and honesty. Liars are automatically out of the running. Has to have the ability to trust.
Should not have a fear of commitment, should be able to make himself vulnerable and available to a real future. Needs to understand that a man does not need a harem to be happy, and always looking for the next best thing only serves to cause pain and insecurity. I should be enough for you, if my love and loyalty are not enough and you need to keep looking for more, then you are not right for this position.
Must be willing to work at compromise and needs to know this is a team effort, not a competition. Should be complimentary without appearing false.
Needs to remember that women need to be physically loved too, someone who is stingy or cold with their affections need not apply.
Words matter, as do actions. The right applicant will know how to use both appropriately. Romance is an absolute non-negotiable item, he must be able to sweep me off my feet. Must be confident.
Should be dedicated and willing to see things through. Able to balance out his life so that he does not neglect the things that matter the most. Should not turn his back on those who care for him in his quest for other pursuits.
Has to able to appreciate what he was, value those he loves and show those traits consistently.
Should be a gentleman when needed and a rogue when the moment calls for it.
For the right applicant there are wonderful benefits to be had.
A lot of mileage on the engine???Oh boy, This is my counter offer for the position offered:
I like the video games, the Sci-Fi (Farscape rules) I also like to go to the renaissance festivals and I like to un-dress my self at Halloween (so prepare your self for that night). I love my "toys" my computers, my cameras, my bike, my plane, my boat and my SUV. I LOVE Disney- as well. I have been there 20 times in the last 3 years.
So as for what I am, I have this inventory:
Normal heigh 5 '8'' (horizontally, this doesnt matter), I can use heels or you can use me as a key ring attractive Prince Charming. Im kind, patient, affectionate and I think I have a good sense of humor (otherwise I shuoldnt answer this application)
I will try to be your clown to make you laugh. about . Physical strength required, not a problem, but if needed I'm willing to take viagra.
I like kids in 2 ways, a).- I love create them, and 2)when they cry, because is when their moms take them away. Im willing to roll about in the grass only besides you and be as silly as you can be.
I understand that fear does not equal respect. I value a child as a treasure specially whe is mine.
Intelligence is all about......., did you wrote (is a must????) so tat means you are willing to live with brutus??????
Conversation skills are highly developed. I know how to listen. I like to practiced at empathy and honesty.
I do not have a fear of commitment, Im available to a real future. I understand that a man does not need a harem to be happy, but this helps alot (believe me).
I should be enough for you, if my love and loyalty are not enough and you need to keep looking for more, then you are not right for this position. Well this is a very drasticall statemet. have you noticed that human been (by nature, may needs a space some times?) nothing is absolute in this life, and this is a nature law.
Im willing to work at compromise and I believe know this is a team effort, not a competition. I have never been married before and as far as I know I dont have kids yet, so you are ahead with many many nights of pleasure.
I will be complimentary without appearing false. I will remember that women need to be physically loved too, (Notice that you wrote women)
I guarantee you, Im very hot in my affections.
Words matter, as do actions.(For sure, words reflect intelligence)
I love Romance if you are willing you will be sweeped off your feet.
Should be dedicated and willing to see things through. Able to balance out his life so that he does not neglect the things that matter the most. Should not turn his back on those who care for him in his quest for other pursuits. (I'm Totally agree with this)
Has to able to appreciate what he was, value those he loves and show those traits consistently. (Not a problem with this)
Im always a gentleman, If you are smart you dont need to be a rogue .
For the right applicant there are wonderful benefits to be had. (Please describe the benefits????)
Based on the profile described above, Im interested to be considered as a candidate, but please reconsider some of the main responsibilities, because based on the job description, (woman, 33 years , with lot of mileage on the engine, and looking for so many requirements as a brand new model, makes difficult to thing in a good bid.
Good lord- I am so blocking this idiot.