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  1. #31

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    MNTGIRL, you said it perfectly...
    Lots of people forget how lucky they are to have kids and raise a family. You've all figured out that most of us are lucky to get the chance.
    I think each of us really realizes what a miracle we have in our children.
    I adore my children, do they drive me nuts...hell yeah, with quite a bit of frequency lately...but I don't take one minute for granted, I thank god every night for letting me be a part of their lives, for trusting me with them.

    Children are to percious (sp?) to take for granted...they are why I am here...I am their mommy above and beyond anything else, I love bing their mommy. and I think they like being my kids. do I yell? Sometimes, Do I hug, kiss, snuggle, fix owies, read stories, play games, Always.

    I absolutly agree with the above comments about being a parent not a friend....I have been working with young children for a long time now, my first class are old enough to drive now, I still see them around town...and you know what? the parents that chose to be their childs friend rather than their parent can not reach their kids now that they are older, and they need to step in as the parent to prevent problems...but it's (usualy) too late, you can not lwt your child walk all over you as a toddler (not saying anyone here is...I just see this ALL the time) and expect them to listen when they are teens... they wont have the respect that is required for the parent/child relationship.

    I have told my daughter (at moments where she is sure I'm the worst mommy ever because of some terrible injustice or another....I can be so unfair...you know everyone elses mom lets them do it right?) I have flat out told K.
    "I am your mommy, my job, my responsability, is to make sure you grow up into a happy, bright, kind, respectful, independant woman. You don't have to like it, you don't have to like me...I'm your mom not your friend...we can be friends when you are older...my mom and I are great friends now that I'm an adult...but for now, I'M THE MOM!"

    it seems to be working..she's a pretty good kid, they both are...


    God thank you for my babies...I am blessed

    (now I need to go kiss my kids, tuck them in again, and maybe snuggle for a little bit...)
    Last edited by Tinkerbelle; 08-10-2005 at 09:34 PM.
    procrastibating

  2. #32

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    Ah...the Wolfette, what can I say. She is 8 and insists on that age, but will be 9 next month, heading off to the Third grade. Being that most of her new found friends are micechatters, she is off to a good start (at least I like to think so). Her picture is on many threads in this forum, just because she's a show off!

    She is starting to find her own opinions in life, which can be quite astounding, and sometimes annoying...that's my baby talking like that.

    She is very tiny, will be in a booster seat her in California until she graduates High School, at least that's how it's going right now. When we brought her home she was only 3 lbs (not a fun pregnancy, believe me!), and she still is only 52 lbs.

    Any of you have met the munchkin understand what I mean, and for those of you who have not....well your missing out!

    My love for her will never stop, but not looking forward to the teenage years at all, I had her very late in life, so don't know what I will do when the time comes (anyone want to adopt the Wolfette for a few years?), hopefully be a good parent, and a bit of a friend also!
    Mom, remember, it's not what a person is like on the outside that counts,
    it's what they are like in their HEART!


    - Wolfette

  3. #33

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    Omg, this is an awesome, down-to-earth thread.

    Wolfy, my second child is wee too! She's gonna be 11 in a couple of days and is only 70lbs!

    All you moms with preteen daughters: HANG IN THERE! This is a huge testing time. If you had a good relationship w/ them as younger kids, it'll be ok. Just try not to fly off the handle at them too much--even when they deserve it. They're all about emotion at that age. THAT is an important time to be a friend to them. Give them all the good advice you can while they're still receptive to it...but don't sound like you're preaching!

    Whew! Now can someone give me advice on boys?? These critters are so different....
    I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.
    That explains the trouble that I'm always in...

  4. #34

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    What?! The emotions get worse? Well, I'm gonna have to move out - we have 12 years of teenage girls ahead of us due to them all being born 4 years apart, LOL! Poor, poor DH... he only has the insane male dog to help him out with the testosterone level in the house.

    So, last night, I'm cuddling with my little munchkin. I was watching a movie that was just great until the very ending, hate when that happens... anyway, I had paused it and we'd just finished reading a book. She was sitting in my lap on our bed as I leaned back against the pillows having her evening cup of milk. She was all soft skin, baby smelling from just getting out of the bath, cuddly in her long jammies... and she just yaks ALL over herself. I mean, it just kept coming and coming and coming! Thank goodness I had the blanket pulled up over me and she was on top of it because that stopped it from getting on the bed itself - that would have been a lot more laundry! She instantly starts bawling her eyes out but hey, I'm not hugging up to her with that stuff all over her, in fact, I'm leaning back further, screaming for Daddy and gagging, LOL! I'm such a great Mom, huh? So, he gets her into the bathtub, I get in with her and we take another bath and he gets to clean up the puke - God love him!! She was extremely upset the rest of the night (all 15 minutes after that before she went to bed) but has been fine ever since. Not sure why she did it.

    Yeah, I just took this thread from mushy to icky, LMBO!! I'm LOVING these posts, so honest and loving, keep them coming!!

    "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
    — Mark Twain





  5. #35

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennidisneyfer
    Wolfy, my second child is wee too! She's gonna be 11 in a couple of days and is only 70lbs!
    You know, my oldest turned 11 in June and she is 74 lbs but my middle one is 72 lbs, LOL!! There will be no hand-me-downs around here!! Oldest, tiny and petite and a bit too much of a gorgeous figure already She wears Slim jeans but has to buy them bigger so the length will fit her long legs. Then the middle one is very chubby, hard to find clothes for because we have to get her Plus size jeans to fit her waist and then they are like 5 inches too long. We FINALLY found jeans that fit her waist for the first time this past weekend, and they are currently being hemmed - YAY! She'll have jeans, we won't have so much trouble matching this year!! Then the little one, she's TALL and slim. We had to get these huge jeans with the adjustable waist and pull the waist in so far just for them to stay up because she's got the longest legs ever. And then she has a really long torso so all her shirts are too big in the shoulders in order to be long enough to cover her stomach, LOL! Did I mention, no hand-me-downs around here while they are still young enough to do that??

    "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
    — Mark Twain





  6. #36

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    So I got curiouse about K's weight....reading these posts...
    she is not very tall, she comes up just past my shoulders (almost 54") and weighs 65 Lbs, she will be 11 in a month...
    someone made the commen about their child being in a carseat untill collage, we felt that way about her too, first the law was 4 yrs and 40 lbs, well just as she was about to hit the weight limit and get out of her car seat (at 6 Years Old!)the law changed
    and she was so PO'd she had to stay in it until the begining of last school year, she squeeked by at 60 lbs. (she was 10!!)

    All Aglow, Where do you find slimjims that fit? K, has the problem of jeans either fitting her hips but being way to short, or fittin her legs and falling off (literaly) we usualy stick to skirts because jeans are so hard for her. but this year has a dress code on skirt lenth and she is growing like a weed so that will be difficult to keep up with...(It's going to be an expensive year.
    procrastibating

  7. #37

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    We got Amber's pants at Sears this year. She got the Slim's in size 12, I think, which is a bit too big in the waist but a belt helps. These are the only ones long enough for her! Of course, last year they had tons of 12 Long's all over the place, we just didn't find any this year, LOL!

    "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
    — Mark Twain





  8. #38

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    I am the very proud mom of 3 year old twins Jared and Rebecca. They are the result of fertility treatments and I am very blessed to have them! They are just waking up now so I'll have to fill you in on their personalities later!

  9. #39

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    Quote Originally Posted by dsnylndmom
    Awwwwwwwww I know how you feel J, you know that, because of everything I've gone through with Shawn. I'm sure we're going to have the ADHD talk at his first IEP this year too.

    hugs
    About the ADHD thing.

    My grandson, who is 12, has always had trouble in reading in school. Ever since the first grade he has done poorly. He has trouble concentrating. The schools have been telling his parents for all this time, he is most likely ADHD, and should be on medication.

    Well his father, my son, has fought that diagnosis. His mom was more likely to go along with the school. He has been to regular doctors, who disputed the diagnosis. He still had trouble in school. Behavior problems, bad grades. We sent him to a very expensive private tutor. Results were the worst grades ever.

    He ended up failing the 6th grade and had to go to Summer School. It became so frustrating, we were in desparate need for answers. Why couldn't he read? Why did he do so poorly on tests. We were convinced he was not ADHD. We figured there had to be another reason. Bottom line, we had him tested for a learning disability.

    That testing was just completed. (It cost us $2,000.) The verdict is still out there, since regular school does not begin until September. The doctor wrote up a diagnosis for the school and a plan for my grandson. The diagnosis was a learning disability. He is not ADHD. The doctor stressed, how many children are misdiagnosed with ADD and ADHD. It has become some school's answers for a problem with children who just don't learn the quote normal way.

    Starting in September we will find out how this plan works for my grandson. Hopefully he will get the help he needs. The road will never be smooth for my grandson. Hopefully we are headed in the right direction.

    Just bothered me, the talk about medication. Don't medicate your child, until you know for sure he or she is really ADHD. Have his or her IQ tested. They can then tall whether there is another reason for any difficulty learning. They measure the potential, which is the IQ, against the actual result. They measure many many different skills. The ones that have a great difference are the disabilities.

    Children can become very frustrated, when learning is difficult. They respond to their own stresses in many different ways, with my grandson it was behavior. Bad behavior, in an otherwise happy child.

    Hope this does not offend anyone in any way.
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  10. #40

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    Barbaraan, I totally agree. I think ADD and ADHD are way over diagnosed. I think MANY MANY children (and adults including myself) have a very hard time concentrating and are overactive. It was never a "disorder" when I was younger.

    I know some kids do need medication and I have no prob with that.

    But I would most likely not medicate my child. Some doctors are coming up with natural ways to treat children with ADD and ADHD and I hope people start to look into these alternative ways and pressure their family doctors to look into them as well. Many of them have been succesful. I normally do not subsribe to the Homeopathic Medications, but in this case I think it would definitely be worth trying before medicating. Especially because simple diet changes seem to have an effect.

    Just my .02.
    “In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.” -Michael Jackson



  11. #41

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    I was clicking on the Send, when my computer froze up on me. I didn't know if that post made it through.

    Today we find out if my grandson completed Summer School successfully or not. He had to go for 6 weeks, and retake the Iowa test for reading. I will find out in a few hours. It will either be a very happy Friday or a Black Friday. We will find out if he repeats 6th grade, or gets to go to 7th. I am glad Summer School is finally over. I am sure my grandson is too, especially if the results are good.
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  12. #42

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    I'm assuming these comments are towards Dsnylndmom and myself? So, I'm answering as if they are! And before I start, I am not offended in any way, whatsoever.

    I have always said that ADD and ADHD are extremely over-diagnosed in kids these days. I feel the same way about so many things that years ago were just "quirks" in children and adults that are now something that needs to be diagnosed. I'm failing to come up with the word I want to describe these things here, not "diseases" but... Eh, I just can't think it to the forefront here! Anyway, remember me saying how my first daughter was just perfect? Never got sick, never acted up, never made Mommy's mind wander from my perfect little child-rearing bubble? That is NOT my second daughter. She has always been in a different class of childrearing, I swear. From the minute she was born, she's always been intense. She's also always been sickly, if we ever went two months without an ear infection, it was like a miracle to us. We spent at least 3 years visiting the doctor monthly, if we were lucky, but normally several times a month. When her speech was delayed, I assumed it was from all the ear infections. She spoke like she heard, right? The doctors never did agree. Then came the behavior problems. For the longest time, I thought she might be very mildly autistic. I didn't want that label so I didn't pursue it with anyone, but I truly believed it. She could literally be in a room full of people and not know that anyone was in the room but her. You know how kids ignore you but you know they hear you because there is always a twitch near the eyes or ears or a slight re-angling of their heads? She never did that, even if you had her facing you. Hardly ever looked anyone in the eyes, even. She would play alone for HOURS, never quietly because she was always singing at the top of her lungs, but alone like nobody else existed on Earth. There were many other traits, also. She isn't like that now but the child can not and will not settle down most of the time to take the time to learn. I've done research, I've read a TON about ADD and I know my daughter better than anyone else - I really would not be surprised to get this diagnosis and to find that medication helps her. If not all of us, most of us have a running commentary in our heads at all times. But, you and I are able to turn that volume down long enough to listen to someone, read something, get a task done, concentrate on driving, etc. She really can NOT do that. Sure, sometimes it's naturally turned down but she can't consciously tell her body and mind that it has to quiet down so she can... say, write her name 10 times. Or whatever the task at hand is. The way it would probably come across to you, and how I've said it before, is that she isn't going to do it unless she WANTS to do it. She seems very stubborn, and in a way she is. But I truly can see the "channels constantly flipping in her head" at all times, no matter what she's doing. And you can tell by conversing with her, she switches subjects faster than she gets answers. A lot of kids do that, also, but combined with so many other things, it's pointing in the direction of ADD. I didn't take this on recommendation simply from her teacher and the school counselor - I was already reading about it and had the same thoughts myself. We started the school year off with them saying, "Oh, she just had such a good heart! We just need to teach her how to control herself." And we had spent almost 6 years trying up to that point, then we all spent the rest of the school year trying even more.

    When we all 4 filled out this checklist, I read each one and thought about every kid that I know well, especially Autumn's 2 sisters. I thought how I would answer for all of them, and then where she stood in relation to them. I didn't check that she had the traits if her trait didn't seem worse than other kids I know. When we were done, we had all left only 2 blank each, and they were the same 2. I wish I could remember what all was on this checklist but for 4 different people who had spent a year with her to all come up with the same conclusions - it seems there must be a lot of truth, correct? And none of us are a health professional, the teacher won't have her this year so won't benefit from whatever comes of it and has no reason to push it.

    So, in my case at least, I feel that we've tried everything we can. My cousin was ADHD and his Mom couldn't afford his medication much so she only gave it to him when he was having a really bad day. The difference in him was amazing. It didn't change who he was but it sure made him a lot more able to be... for lack of a better phrase, bearable to everyone around him. He would still make the same jokes/comments but would only say them once or twice, rather than 20 times in a row - I mean that literally, he would get so excited when you laughed at something that he would just keep repeating it until you wanted to tape his mouth shut. He didn't have the ability to realize that was enough, to calm down, whatever the case was that day. Around age 15, after years and years of work from school and others, he finally learned to control his thoughts and body much more easily.

    I really just want to get her through school successfully. I honestly don't even care if she gets good grades, as long as she passes. The important thing to me is that she LEARN what she needs to know in life. Like, her teacher and we knew that she knew her alphabet. She knew it when she started Kindergarten. However, when it came to be test time, she wasn't in the mood and refused to answer any questions on what letter was what. On her first Kindergarten report card, she had ONE letter marked as being known. I didn't worry all that much because I knew that she knew them all and thought she'd get better and "working on demand." Well, by the end of the year, that wasn't the case. And that was just Kindergarten, she can't still be doing that in 3rd and 4th grade and later in school! So, we must do something NOW.

    Whew, this got really, really long!

    "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
    — Mark Twain





  13. #43

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    Barbaraann, No way did I take it offensively, not at all.

    I haven't yet read All Aglow's novelette there , but I'm sure we'll say close to the same things.

    Shawn has been in Speech Therapy since he was 3. We did the state mandated ADHD checklist when he was 5 with his ST, myself and his Pre-K teacher. We all had the some responses but we also all felt the same way, he may have some ADHD tendencies but it's way way too early to proceed with any medication, he was only 5!!

    Fast forward to 1st grade. At each parent teacher meeting, they had 3 a year at that school, she talked about him being on meds, each time I refused, he was 6 years old and it was his first year in school. I wasn't interested in it at all. Every meeting she tried though. She told me she felt he'd have alot of issues in 1st grade and he had alot of issues settling down for story time after outside time, um duh he's a boy and he's active give him time.

    Then she gets a student teacher, who basically takes over the class. She is WONDERFUL, simply wonderful. Her last day she took me aside and told me how amazing his progress was. That he is one of the most polite well mannered little boys in there and that he did amazing well the last few months with waiting his turn, answers questions etc etc at CARPET TIME. The same thing that the main teacher complained about that 1st quarter, hmmm seems the concept of giving them time WORKS doesn't it.

    His report, was damn near perfect, amazing for a boy his teacher SWORE was ADHD riddled.

    He still has problems, he still has impulse control issues(THAT is my worry)and he's still a bit behind his peers, especially with reading. He's going to be a math kid like his dad. But, he's doing okay. This year will be a bigger test being in full day school, but we'll take it one step at a time. Hopefully, we'll have another wonderful ST like the last two in Stockton to help us guide him. (His ST at the school last year couldn't disagree with the main teacher more and was willing to fight her with me if need be, it didn't come to that though)

    I agree that ADD and ADHD is totally overdiagnosed. And many times it's "diagnosed" way too young. I have a friend who had her son on ritalin at 4 years old, FOUR. The kids has now been on numerous types of medication because the other types weren't working or quite working, he's 10.

    Kids aren't allowed to be kids as much anymore, schools are taking away class parties, recess, art time anything that encourages imagination and then complaining that today children have no imagination. It's very frustrating.

    Anyways, what I was trying to get at was to get to know your kid first. If you choose to medicate it should be YOUR decision, not the teacher's, not your MIL's but YOURS and your doctors.



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  14. #44

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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    I just returned from my grandson's house with good news. My grandson is passing to the 7th grade. Summer school was worth all his sacrifices. He had to give up his day camp and a trip to Disneyland. He worked hard and was able to pass the Iowa test in reading. He had a 78% average in his class work and a C grade overall.

    Now we can start the next school year, by presenting them with his Learning Disability diagnosis and they can give him the specified help that he needs. They will then stop pushing medication on a child that does not need it.

    I am having a better day. We have 3 more weeks of summer to just enjoy.
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    Re: Have kids? Let's chat about them here...

    Quote Originally Posted by Barbaraann
    I just returned from my grandson's house with good news. My grandson is passing to the 7th grade. Summer school was worth all his sacrifices. He had to give up his day camp and a trip to Disneyland. He worked hard and was able to pass the Iowa test in reading. He had a 78% average in his class work and a C grade overall.

    Now we can start the next school year, by presenting them with his Learning Disability diagnosis and they can give him the specified help that he needs. They will then stop pushing medication on a child that does not need it.

    I am having a better day. We have 3 more weeks of summer to just enjoy.
    That is AWESOME news! I bet he is really relieved and so happy that they figured out how to help him get through as he needs to, and he did it. He is getting into the roughest of years, in my memory anyway, right now. My middle one went to summer school this year, too, but it was only for the month of June. The kids start school here on Monday, I hope your Grandson enjoys the remainder of his summer and does lots of fun things, lots of being a kid things!

    "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
    — Mark Twain





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