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  1. #1

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    Exclamation Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    Most of you who know me know that I moved to Minnesota from California a year ago. Only a couple of you know that I have a younger brother in California who has been in a lot of trouble with drinking and drugs. He has been arrested, been through treatment and still not doing well. Both my parents (who are divorced) have kicked him out and he has been homeless now for almost 6 months. So my mom felt his last hope is to send him here to live with us and he arrives on Wednesday morning!

    SO- One, I have been SO homesick and I am so excited to have someone from home here, especially my brother. I love him dearly, deep down he is a great person and I have missed him a lot.

    HOWEVER- I am terrified of what I got myself into. He DOES have a drug problem. I know that some of the external forces have made it very hard for him to turn himself around, living in the same small town with the same crappy group of friends hasn't helped.

    Getting him to a new environment, and my husband already lined him up a job where he works, will- I hope- help. Where he is has certainly not worked out and nothing else has worked. So, this is the last thing we all can think of before forcing him into the military or writing him off completely until he turns his life around.

    I have no delusions that this is the fix-all answer. I just have hope giving him this last opportunity might help.

    I love and respect you guys and am just looking for advice, support or whatever anyone has to say. He's my brother and I just have to do this.

    Am I insane? Am I doing the right thing?
    “In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.” -Michael Jackson



  2. #2

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    You ARE doing the right thing, but have patience, it's not going to be easy. Best of luck to you and yours!
    Mom, remember, it's not what a person is like on the outside that counts,
    it's what they are like in their HEART!


    - Wolfette

  3. #3

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    no tink your not nuts at all...and yes i think you are doing the right thing...my brother has the same kind of problem yours does, let me tell you it wont be easy...all i can say is just go with it and dont expect big changes over night but hopefully the change of scene and people will help him...but remember, all you can do is be there for him, and give him the tools to get better and sad to say you cant fix him unless he WANTS to be fixed.. and if you need to vent feel free to pm me! ive been down this road before so i know how it is!! good luck i will be keeping my fingers crossed for you all! keep us updated! ((((((((TINK)))))))))

    oh and i know ALL about the homesick thing...you are DEFINATELY not the lone ranger on that one..soo if you ever get homesick and want to talk PM me...we can be homesick together! im from orange county (Los Alamitos)


  4. #4

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    is there any place that he could get rehab also??? Or OA??

    Keep up the faith!!!! You are giving him a new start, you should feel good about that. It's going to be hard but worth it. Lots of love and patience. make sometime for you and your husband to stay connected. Keep your brother busy.
    Good luck and I will send positive thoughts you way....
    aka Sara




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  5. #5

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.

    This may not be the information you want to hear, but a "new environment" will not keep him off of drugs. He has to want to be off drugs -- not for you, his family, his friends, or anyone else, but for himself. Rehab may be a better place for you to put him than into your home, since by helping him you may be enabling him to keep in active addiction.

    Oftentimes people mistake kindness for weakness. I understand why you feel you cannot let him remain homeless, but until he has hit a bottom whereupon he truly wants to get better he may take down your emotional security with him.

    One thing you may want to do for yourself is check out a local Al-Anon meeting. It is a support group for people who have addicts/alcoholics in their family. Lots of people there will be going through the same issues you describe above.

    I wish you the best of luck. There is hope for your brother if he has a true willingness to turn his life around.
    I am grateful... grapefruit! ~ Bjork (upon winning Best International Female Artist at the BRIT Awards)



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  6. #6

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    I am a past drug addict, but I wanted my life changed, it took a lot of time and a lot of love from others to get past that point in my life.....You can always PM me also, I'm here for you!
    Mom, remember, it's not what a person is like on the outside that counts,
    it's what they are like in their HEART!


    - Wolfette

  7. #7

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    Thank you guys so much. You are making me feel so much better.

    I know that the change in environment isn't the "answer" and that he has to want to change. I am not sure he is there yet. But he has literally been without a place to stay for sixth months and is actually starving. I am not sure how much more rock bottom you can get.

    I am not sure he is ready to change, but he is willing to make the step to move to Minnesota away from California, something he said he would NEVER do no matter what. So I feel like his willingness to do that says at least something.

    I just thank you for your kind words and support, I feel like I am doing the right thing. And I will definitely look into a local Al-Anon meeting. We have had other addiction situations in my family, so I have some experience with that, but definitely a lot to learn.

    We'll see how it goes, only a couple days until he's here. I am so thankful I have a place to come to talk and vent.
    “In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.” -Michael Jackson



  8. #8

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    well good for him...he is willing to take that step to move to where you are... that answers the question that was rattling around in my head...did he decide on his own or was he "sent" there is big step numero uno....keeping my fingers crossed he makes lots more steps till he is better!

    *sending lots of positive energy and white healing light your way*


  9. #9

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    Tink Pink - I'm awed and amazed. You are so brave to offer your help and put yourself smack dab in the middle of a difficult situation.
    I, also, have a similar situation. Mine involved my nephew, whose had a drinking/drug problem and my entire family wrote him off. I didn't. It cut me off from my family because I choose to stand by him. His mother passed on 2 years ago from MS and life has not really given him a fair shake. I refuse to have his entire family abandon him - even if it costs me.

    Your brave and loving. I'm here for you also. PM me if there is anything I can do to help.

  10. #10

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    Quote Originally Posted by groomer_4_u
    well good for him...he is willing to take that step to move to where you are... that answers the question that was rattling around in my head...did he decide on his own or was he "sent" there is big step numero uno....
    Yes, my mom has mentioned it to him and me a few times, but neither she or I ever thought he would do it. I think this morning when he showed up on my mom's doorstep CRYING because he was so hungry and had no way to get food made him realize he had to make a change and he agreed to take the step to come here on his own.

    I do hope that says something and he remembers how that felt so that he won't want to go back there again.

    On edit: to answer a precious question/concern, he has just been through treatment only a few months ago. He was arrested for drugs last August and had to go through treatment. Between lawyer fees and treatment, my dad spent around $8000 or so. It was better for awhile, but my Dad kicked him out because it was affecting his young daughers too much to have him there (I have two pre-teen half-sisters) and he moved back to my mom's town with all his old friends and started it up again.
    “In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.” -Michael Jackson



  11. #11

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    well, it sounds like he has finally hit the addicts "rock bottom" and he knows it.. soo im having one of my "sneaky feelings" here and im seeing him getting better already..but the road is still going to be rough and he is gonna backslide a few times but im really seeing him beating the monkey on his back!!!

    just keep him working and on his days off busy with something...i have a good feeling about this!


  12. #12

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    I wish you all the luck in the world, TP!
    Listen to me on the radio!

    us101country.com Fridays- 9p-12m ET and Saturdays- 7p-10p ET

    981thelegend.com Monday-Friday - 12m-6a ET

    rock105.net Sundays - 10p-12m ET

    You can also visit my DJ blog HERE!
    Also, I have a Myspace- CLICK HERE

  13. #13

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    good luck!! i took my brother in once also. he showed up on my doorstep one morning & i took him in. for him, it was a new start. i hope for the same for you guys as well!!
    <o>

  14. #14

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    OMG you guys have no idea. I just heard something really discouraging from my dad about the whole situation and came immediately to read this thread and feel better again. Thank you for the words of support!
    “In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.” -Michael Jackson



  15. #15

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    Re: Big News in the Life of TinkPink

    *fingers crossed for you!*
    Listen to me on the radio!

    us101country.com Fridays- 9p-12m ET and Saturdays- 7p-10p ET

    981thelegend.com Monday-Friday - 12m-6a ET

    rock105.net Sundays - 10p-12m ET

    You can also visit my DJ blog HERE!
    Also, I have a Myspace- CLICK HERE

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