The Grizzly Gulch Growler
Published every Saturday
By Seymour Fairly
"Reporting The 'Bear' Facts Since 1888"
Special Commemorative Edition
(Main Street Gazette's footnote: Seymour Fairly might imply "See More Fairly".)
DOG GONE LUCKY!!
Prospecting Pooch is a Golden Retriever, Indeed!
Citizens of Grizzly Gulch are no doubt well acquainted with "Lucky", the plucky little golden retriever, who wandered into town on the auspicious day of our founding celebration, August 8, 1888.
Well out little town mascot has lived up to his name! As you all know, Lucky loves to sniff around the digs over at the Big Grizzly Mountain Mining Company, and last week his canine curiosity led him straight to the biggest gold nugget ever recorded in these parts!
According to our sources around town, here is how the serendipitous event unfolded. It seems that Lucky the Dog started as usual. He wandered over to the Lucky Nugget Saloon for leftover scraps and a bowl of water, and then trotted down to the Grizzly Gulch Jail to give a howling howdy to Sheriff Justice and his deputies. Then as he does every day about that time, Lucky headed over to the Big Grizzly Mountain Mine to see what he could sniff out, "He loves to follow the prospectors around," said the mine foreman I.M. Shovelman.
(Main Street Gazette's footnote: I.M. Shovelman might imply "I Am Shovel Man".)
He's a good company for the boys, and he always warns them if an angry bear is afoot nearby." Lucky made his usual calls. He visited the Prospectors' Locker, where he is always sure to get a scratch between the ears, and then made a call on old Tom Cutwell at the sawmill. But it was when he accompanied the mine's geologist, Ignatius Stone into the mine that things really got interesting.
(Main Street Gazette's footnote: Tom Cutwell might imply "Tom Cut Well".)
(Main Street Gazette's footnote:Ignatius Stone might imply "Fiery Stone" or "Sand Stone".)
"We were in the vicinity of Shaft No. 8," recalls Mr. Stone, "and I was taking rock samples, while Lucky was looking for a place to bury a bone." Then suddenly the prospecting pooch began digging like crazy and waging his tail. When Mr. Stone looked closer to see what all the commotion was about, he beheld the biggest, brightest rock he had ever seen. The "Lucky Nugget" weighs in a whopping 150 pounds, and it valued at nearly $20,000!!! But in the eyes of our civic leaders, the chunk of gleaming granite is priceless.
With the cooperation of the mine's owner, "Capt." Phineas T. Cosgrove, they intend to proudly display it in front of the Grizzly Gulch Assay Office. They believe it will be an inspiration to all the prospectors in the Gulch, as well as an attraction that will draw visitors to our fair town from all over the world.
Needless to say, Lucky Dog will be welcome at Grizzly Gulch for the rest of his life. And I think we are all in agreement that the day we adopted Lucky, was our luckiest day ever!
THIS WEEK IN GRIZZLY GULCH DIG DOING
Billy "Boomer" McCoy, lead dynamiter at the Big Grizzly Mountain Mine has informed us this week of his intention to dynamite another shaft on the east face of the peak, and gold nuggets are sure to be the bountiful result. Townsfolk are advised to proceed with caution when strolling in the vicinity of the blasting.
THE SONGBIRD RETURNS
The Growler is pleased to announce that the "San Francisco Songbird" - Madame Rubinstein - will soon treat Grizzly Gulch to a return performance of her melodious repertoire!
Who can forget her concert last year, when she brought a tear to the eyes of all in attendance with her tender rendition of "My Sweet Bower on Flower Street"?
(Main Street Gazette's footnote: Madame Rubinstein is referring to Ali Rubinstein, Creative Director of Walt Disney Imagineering Hong Kong.)
(Main Street Gazette's footnote: Flower Street is located in Main Street U.S.A.)
OLD TOWN LOW DOWN
As volunteer Mayor of Grizzly Gulch, and publisher of this respected news journal, I feel it is my duty to inform citizen that the Old Town section of Grizzly Gulch ("Geyser Gulch," as it will no doubt soon be called) has sunk another six centimeters! When city fathers built the original town, they had bo idea they had built on an active geyser bed,
"WILD CAT" ON THE PROWL AGAIN
The readers of this newspaper will no doubt recall the welcome news that Catherine "Wild Cat" Kelly - the beautiful but dangerous troublemaker - had been captured at last by Sheriff Justice and placed in the Grizzly Gulch Jail.
Well, lo and behold, she has escaped!
It's seems she smuggled a piece of dynamite into the cell with her, and blew out a hole in the wall!
THE MICHELANGELO OF THE MINE
We hear that old Tom Cutwell the fine gentleman who heads up the sawmill operation over at the Big Grizzly Mountain Mining Company, has a hidden talent - carving wooden bears from the leftover wood scraps. The charming souvenirs are proudly displayed at the "Bear Necessities" outfitters wagon, so stop by and have a look.
GOOD FOR WHAT AILS YOU
Our esteemed town physician, "Doc" Will Curem, has asked us to remind one and all that he has brewed up a fresh batch of his patented Miracle Elixir, and it will be available soon at local establishments and by mail order.
He is keen to point out that the powerful potion is good for heartburn, rheumatism and general good health.
GOLD DUST HOTEL
The only hotel in the town, And also the best!
Dance a jig with
Joe's All - Star Band
Elegant & Fancy Toilet Water
Just up the road in Mule Butte
We carry "Doc" Curem's Miracle Elixir!
THE FRIENDLY FORCE
Horse Shoeing And Metal Work
No job too small of too big!
(Main Street Gazette's footnote: Rusty O'Toolemight imply "Rusty Old Tool".)
Prospectors for the
Big Grizzly Mountain Mine
Myst not be afraid of hard work and bears.
Original blog link:
Hong Kong Main Street Gazette: The Grizzly Gulch Growler Special Commemorative Edition: Page 1
Page 2 will be posted on the blog soon!