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  1. #1

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    PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    Okay... I know that MiceChat is a very gay friendly message board... I came out to my best friend yesterday... She was pretty freaked out... I almost fainted... thankfully she accepted me and she's still my friend, but I feel kinda weird and I'm still pretty freaked out... could someone please give me like advice of something?
    I have a dream
    A song to sing
    To help me cope
    Trough everything

    If you see the wonder
    of a FairyTale
    You can take the future
    even if you fail...

    I believe in Angels
    Something good in everything I see
    I believe in Angels
    When I know the time is right for me...

    I'll cross the stream.... I have a dream

  2. #2

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    Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    I'm so sorry. It does happen, and there is no good way to prevent. Everyone has a different tollerance for the shock of this news. If she really cares about you, she will come around. Give it time. I lost my grandmother to this news for about 6 months. Then one day she started calling. After that, everything was better than ever.

    There are a couple of recommended steps to take in the future:
    - Tell people whom you think will be able to handle it.
    - Start dropping hints and clues, so they can come to terms before you tell them.

    You will be ok. If you need to chat with anyone, we have a lot of very carring Mos and Hags around here. It is great that you feel comfortable getting this out in the open, but sometimes people will be more honest and/or helpful if you take it to PM and Chat.

    Warm Hug,

    Dusty
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  3. #3

    • The Unknown Princess
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    Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    no advice Mr. just a
    Always keep smiling because you never know who is falling in love with it.
    --------------------------------------------------------
    Part of the Disney Ohana

    --------------------------------------------------------

  4. #4

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    Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    Coming to grips with your sexuality is a HUGE step in and of itself. Coming out to the people in your life is a GIANT step.

    Best thing to do is seriously think about who you want to tell and in what order (at least thats what I did). I told a few friends and family members to feel the waters, then when everything was cool with them I told my mom who, after the initial shock, was cool. Then its a piece of cake!

    Good luck with everything!! You have A LOT of people here "in the know". So ask away!

  5. #5

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    Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    Just be yourself, and those who love you for who you are will be the ones you want to be your friends. Congrats on taking a huge leap!

  6. #6

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    Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    I think you have to think about things in the long run rather than the short. This is your life and you need to be happy while living it. Being comfortable and direct is a impoortant step in achieving that. However, there may be a few bums along the way AND there may be some very nice surprises. Just take it slow and be true to yourself. You are in a world here at MC (and in real life I'm sure) where there are lots of understanding people. Just keep being true to yourself and people will love you for who you are.

  7. #7

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    Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    i am sending good thoughts and hugs your way. this will be a difficult time for you, i have had many friends go through it, but you will come out happier and stronger! best of luck to you!!!!!
    please be afraid.

  8. #8

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    Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    I agree with everything so far printed here. We are not just words on the screen--each and everyone one of us has experienced what you are going through. And it still is a process for some us.

    Know that and know that you aren't alone.

    And that National Coming Out Day, our one holiday outside of Pride events, is this Tuesday. So you are ahead of schedule. On that day, we're supposed to out ourselves to one person. You've done a great job dude, and such bravery such be rewarded.

    Go to a Disney park with your friend. Or buy a Chantico at Starbuck's. Or one of those Pumpkin Spice things that Dusty recommends!

    It took a while for myself--I kept thinking it was like it was going to be on tv, I said it, everyone hugged me and it was over by the next commercial. I've realized, over time, that the process is ongoing and highly beneficial. It does get easier with every friend you have. And also remember, there's no hurry. You do it when you are good and ready. You don't have to finish by the next commercial. Don't let anyone pressure you otherwise.

    Dude, you are very brave--and I'm proud of you! Let us know how it goes.

    Peace,
    Roo
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  9. #9

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    Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    DUDE YOU TOTALLY ROCK!

    It is a brave step to take. Like Dusty said, start by trying to gaige the people near you and their tolerance for how the "other half" lives. Drop hints here and there by say, well, nancing around in a little chiffon number or lipsynching showtunes at thanksgiving dinner. And finally buy copies of the book "So you think the person who gave you this book is gay." and hand them out to your closest friends.

    No seriously though, me, I have had the fortunate experience of having very positive reastions from My Mom, other family members, and close friends. Most were like "Finally!". Many were happy I had simply come to terms with who I was and grown as a person, more comfortable in my own skin. But here's the thing. The people that I wasn't to sure would take it well I really still haven't told becasue, as it turns out, I am not close to them to begin with. They may suspect it but let them wonder.

    I mean really being truthful, open and honest is the first thing you should do. But some people can handle it and others simply can't where as some don't deserve that level of friendship to begin with. Be cautious and compassionate. You will do fine.
    "All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
    Homer Jay Simpson



  10. #10

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    Talking Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Disney
    Okay... I know that MiceChat is a very gay friendly message board... I came out to my best friend yesterday... She was pretty freaked out... I almost fainted... thankfully she accepted me and she's still my friend, but I feel kinda weird and I'm still pretty freaked out... could someone please give me like advice of something?

    Bravo, Bravo!!!

    You should be very proud of yourself for taking such a huge step!

    It sounds cliche, but the more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable others will be with you. This holds true not just with coming out, but with many other things in life.

    I've heard that one of the most shocking things people experience when they come out to those close to them, is that often no one is particularly suprised. I know when my brother came out to me many years ago, my reaction was "Yeah, I've known since you were 2... glad to see you finally figured it out!"

    Support is key, I know you have support here on the board, but I hope you have some off line as well!

    Congratulations!!!

  11. #11

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    Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    As a girl who has had several friends come out....including my bestest oldest childhood girlfriend (who is bi) and my closest guy friend (also bi-ish) and my college roommate (he's gay) and a good high school friend (gay)....I have to say that those conversations are the ones I'll remember forever.

    And they all went well.....but one conversation was more memorable than the rest. My high school friend I hadn't seen in a few years and I ran into him at a gay club. He told me he was gay and that he'd known it for years, and I said, "Me too!" and gave him a big hug and a smooch. We danced for a while....and then we were joined by my then-boyfriend. My friend was confused. Apparently, he thought I meant that I was also gay, not that I'd known he was gay for a few years. Oops.

    I have never had to come out to the people I love, but as someone who has had people come out to her, I have to say, that to some people it might be a shock, but to others, they'll just be glad you're finally saying it out loud, so you all can move on. Others won't be happy....they'll feel a grieving sort pang....and others will be more unhappy and feel a bit more than grief, and won't treat you well. I'd find your safest support first and then go from there. I'm sure you know who will be the hardest to tell.....I say baby steps. Make sure you're strong first.

    to you! I'm proud of you.

  12. #12

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    Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    Lots of good advice on this thread that I don't want to complete reiterate, but another resource you may want to check out is PFLAG ... there are meetings all over the place.

    When I first came out my parents thought I was being brainwashed, but after going to PFLAG they finally came around to a greater understanding of what being gay is all about.

    There should be a meeting directory and/or contact numbers for your area listed on their website.
    I am grateful... grapefruit! ~ Bjork (upon winning Best International Female Artist at the BRIT Awards)



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  13. #13

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    Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    I have no advice to give you, but I just wanted to wish you luck and to say that it was very admirable for you to come out!

  14. #14

    • The Useless Prince
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    Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    I remember when I came out. It was last spring. my friends were so supportive. then I told my dad he was shocked at first then he gradually stoped worring about it. Even tho I can tell he still does worry about me. Just let it go naturally, when you think the time is right. P.S. look at my location. that is a little hint I dropped when I first joined

  15. #15

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    Re: PLEASE HELP I feel weird because I just came out

    Thank you all sooo much!!!! I was so depressed this morning... I tought my friend was being weird to me...(I cried) but later things cleared out... we haven't touched the topic yet, well except for this noon (she gave me some lipgloss she borrowed from my mom on saturday, BTW her 15th birthday party, I told her that day... anyways she told me to put it in my pocket because... and then she just fell silent and we both kinda giggled...) but then I knew that I made a good step... and thank you so much for your support! You have no idea how much this helps me!!!! Thank You Micechatters!
    I have a dream
    A song to sing
    To help me cope
    Trough everything

    If you see the wonder
    of a FairyTale
    You can take the future
    even if you fail...

    I believe in Angels
    Something good in everything I see
    I believe in Angels
    When I know the time is right for me...

    I'll cross the stream.... I have a dream

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