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  1. #1

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    Why men cheat on their wives

    What makes men cheat? Natasha Caruana signed up to a cheaters' dating agency to find out

    What makes a man cheat? Itís a question thatís been considered by countless women before. But although Natasha Caruana is no relationship expert Ė or heartbroken wife Ė she knows more about infidelity than most.



    She knows, for instance, that men who cheat arenít always in it for the sex (though some definitely are). She knows that they tend to cover their tracks well (and always pay with cash). And she knows that even newlyweds can succumb to affairs.



    Where do all these insights come from? Throughout 2008 Caruana, a photographer, went on 80 dates with married men Ė and clandestinely photographed each one for her artwork, The Married Man.


    One woman's 80 dates with married men - Telegraph

  2. #2

    • world class bilge rat
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    Re: Why men cheat on their wives

    Interesting article. Especially the part about guys who cheat for emotional support.

    Speaking as a 56 year old guy who was married for nearly 26 years and has been single for the past 8 years and who did not cheat but considered it a few times, I find the article to be pretty realistic.

    My late wife suffered from bi-polar disorder her entire life, and left this life in the usual way for such persons.

    There was very little sex during our marriage, I missed it a lot. But to an even greater degree, I missed the emotional connection. It just wasn't there; it seemed that she was too busy battling her demons to pay much attention to me.

    One thing that I felt was missing in the article was the love angle. Love (or a persons perception of it) is the most powerful force ever. In a way, it can even alter time. I think a lot of guys who cheat are in love with their wives, but at the same time, feel unmet needs. Sometimes physical needs, sometimes emotional, most of the time both.

    And even worse, if said guy brings up his wants/needs/desires to his wife, he will almost always feel attacked during the course of the conversation. This is not usually the intent of the wife, it's more like the perception of the husband.

    The sad part is that if each person would see things from the others perspective, the issues would very likely be discussed in such a way to bring about positive change by both persons.

  3. #3

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    Re: Why men cheat on their wives

    Really great feedback!

  4. #4

    • world class bilge rat
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    Re: Why men cheat on their wives

    Quote Originally Posted by CaliforniaAdventurer View Post
    Really great feedback!
    Thanks!

    Straight from the heart.......

  5. #5

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    Re: Why men cheat on their wives

    My husband once paid me the greatest compliment a husband can make to his wife, when he said.

    "I never, did not want to come home".

    Men who cheat on their wives obviously don't feel the same way.

  6. #6

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    Re: Why men cheat on their wives

    Quote Originally Posted by Barbaraann View Post
    My husband once paid me the greatest compliment a husband can make to his wife, when he said.

    "I never, did not want to come home".

    Men who cheat on their wives obviously don't feel the same way.
    That's the truth!

    I can't say the same thing. My late wife, being bi-polar, wasn't exactly the most stable thing on the planet. Some mornings she would be pretty much a basket case, and I really didn't want to come home to that or even worse. But often, if she wasn't feeling well in the morning, she would be fine when I got home. Other times........

    It worked the other way too. It was the worst when she would be ok in the morning, but not so good when I got home.

    So yes, I'd agree that cheaters often don't want to come home. And guys who enjoy their home life have far less reason to cheat.

    But we need to remember though, it takes both spouses to make a desirable home life. One cannot do it on their own.

  7. #7

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    Re: Why men cheat on their wives

    Data has shown - repeatedly - that monogamy is not a natural state for humans. What is puzzling is why we expect, demand, and build into institutions an ideal that is rarely achieved. Two of the basic needs are to love and be loved, and surprisingly for many - variety. Those are a bad combination when neither of those needs are being met.

    Also remember - "cheating" can only occur when one or both parties in a relationship have pledged to be monogamous. Without setting up nearly impossible conditions to meet in said relationship - "cheating" cannot occur. Simply put, if you want to eliminate "cheating" you must not expect monogamy.







    I am Sambo, and I endorse this signature.

  8. #8

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    Re: Why men cheat on their wives

    It's up to the couple to decide, do I want to be in a monogamous relationship? If so, he or she needs a partner who wants the same thing.

    Cheating is when both agree to monogamy and then one person doesn't hold up their end of the bargain.

    Agreeing to an 'open relationship' from the beginning is not cheating.

  9. #9

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    Re: Why men cheat on their wives


  10. #10

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    Re: Why men cheat on their wives


  11. #11

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  12. #12

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    Re: Why men cheat on their wives

    OK So I think now we've got ALL our bases covered

    Vicki Larson: What's So Wrong With An Open Marriage?

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