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  1. #1

    • Pirate Princess
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    What do guys think?

    I have a question for you guys that I've been wondering. I knew I could find honesty from the men of MiceChat!

    When it comes to girls, is it more important that you have lots of the same interests, or that your personalities differ and compliment each other? Seems like just liking the same things (bands, movies, sports) or having the same hobbies doesn't exactly make for a match made in heaven. But if you get along really well and have nothing in common, there's no hope either. So what's more important to you, and how do you make it work?

    Thanks!
    "And don't underestimate the importance of BODY LANGUAGE!"

  2. #2

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    Re: What do guys think?

    My gf and I are very different people, with very different backgrounds, we both had one love that brought us together and that was Disney, from there we just got to know one another and our differences just ended up complimenting one another, we do have similar interests, but we also have many things that interest only one of us. It's pretty much about balance between two people. You give a little, you get a little. Compromise and flexibility are key.

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  3. #3

    • Angel Fan MC Man
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    Re: What do guys think?

    In my case, Kathleen and I did not have a lot of common interests when we first met - though we did have a few.

    The more we got to know one another though, we found that our personality types were pretty similar, and we felt very comfortable with each other - and the romantic "sparks" pretty much grew from that.

    Now, I have found interest in some of the things she liked and I didn't before, and vice versa.

    For me it's my second marriage, and for her it's her second major relationship...to paraphrase of an old song, love can be lovelier...the second time around...

    Like Anders said, it's about compromise and balance.
    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

  4. #4

    • Neep meep beep
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    Re: What do guys think?

    I know that for the women I've been involved in, we've been completely different. Now that I'm married, that's more true than ever.

    My parents were from different countries, were different races, spoke different primary languages, and were different religions, but they got along GREAT!

    Likewise, I learn from my wife's strengths and I compliment her weaknesses, and vice versa.

  5. #5

    • Pirate Princess
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    Re: What do guys think?

    Very insightful opinions guys. I knew this would be a good place to crack open the male take on relationships.

    I guess I just don't know what I'm looking for. I don't know if I should just be doing what I do and hope someone comes along, or go try new things and see if I find someone there. Life is a weird place, and you gotta find JUST EXACTLY the right type of ppl to hang out with. How the heck does one do that and not go crazy?!? :P

    Again, thanks for the insight, and keep it coming!
    "And don't underestimate the importance of BODY LANGUAGE!"

  6. #6

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    Re: What do guys think?

    Quote Originally Posted by LiTtLeMeRmAiD
    Very insightful opinions guys. I knew this would be a good place to crack open the male take on relationships.

    I guess I just don't know what I'm looking for. I don't know if I should just be doing what I do and hope someone comes along, or go try new things and see if I find someone there. Life is a weird place, and you gotta find JUST EXACTLY the right type of ppl to hang out with. How the heck does one do that and not go crazy?!? :P

    Again, thanks for the insight, and keep it coming!
    if you go try new things, make sure it's something related to something you love. For me, joining MiceChat was an extension of my love of Disneyland and going to meets an extension of that and managed to meet the love of my life and many great friends. Do the things you love, or try new things related to what you love, somewhere you'll find someone without trying.

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  7. #7

    • insufferable know-it-all
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    Re: What do guys think?

    Find yourself a local hangout based on your interests - some place you'd go to and hang out even if no one else went with you. For those of us in SoCal, that's obviously Disneyland and the meets. For you up in NoCal, you're going to have to find a different type of hangout. If you're into hockey or ice skating, it could be the ice rink, if you're into the environment it could be volunteering with some environmental group, could be helping out with an animal rescue group, etc. Just some place that you can go and do and interact, where you are totally comfortable with and by yourself, and preferably engaging in some activity (because it beats standing around trying to justify your presence somewhere, LOL)

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  8. #8

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    Re: What do guys think?

    I heard recently, and I believe it to be true, that deep down of everyone there is essencially one thing that they "need" emotionally in order for a relationship to work... The key is knowing what that one thing is, both in yourself and the other person... The problem is, guys don't open up very easily... And most men mature slower emotionally even to understand what those things are... This means there is a lot of trial and error envolved when you are younger...
    Check out my other blog:

  9. #9

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    Re: What do guys think?

    I always went out with girls that had different interests but maybe we shared at least one or two things we both liked. When you start to grow closer you might find that each person shows more interest in what the other likes. It is still ok to like different things and have time where you go and do things separately.

    I do think it helps to have some of the same interests just so you can share in the excitement but it is ok to like different things.
    DL 1975-2005 30 years of visiting
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    He kuikawa ka 'ikena o kela wahi ho'oku ka'a e waiho kala'e ihola ma 'o!



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  10. #10

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    Re: What do guys think?

    Ooooooh! Good question!

    For me, sense of humor was HUGE! If you can't goof off and "get" each other's jokes, I think you're going to be in a world of trouble. I had gone out with a couple of what I considered to be really attractive girls, but found myself just staring at them when they thought something was funny. (And vice versa.) So...those relationships didn't go anywhere. In fact, if you enjoy laughing, and the girl you are going out with has a laugh that drives you nuts, this is a good indicator that you might want to let her go.

    That being said, it's all up to YOU and what YOU want in a relationship. I can talk to my wife on SEVERAL levels. We can disagree on politics, our kids, movies....all types of things, but the IMPORTANT thing is that we can TALK at the same level. I'm not talking down to her, nor she to me. We can be goofy and enjoy each other's goofiness, we can cry at the same films, laugh at the same jokes, have discussions about global warming, our kids, the yard...whatever....and walk away feeling like we've just shared something with someone who is LIKE us...if you take my meaning.

    Beyond laughter, my wife is truly my soul mate. We "get" each other. We complete each other. However, she's not into Football, college basketball, power tools, and I'm not into cooking, journalism, or decorating the house. In those aspects, having different interests can really be a GOOD thing.

    It also helps that we both share the same faith. In fact, that's how we met. We both have the same deep seeded values, and we both want exactly the same things for our kids.

    So...backing the truck up, what drew me to her? She was TOTALLY HOT when I first saw her, but when we when out on our first date, it was like talking to an old friend. It wasn't forced, we laughed easily, and it wasn't long after that that I knew she was the one for me.

    And we will have been married 17 years next Friday.

  11. #11

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    Re: What do guys think?

    Agreed on the sense of humor. That's really important to me. Somebody who takes everything too seriously isn't going to meld well with my brand of wacky fun. My gf and I have a number of interests in common, but not all that many. We are both quite independent, so we haven't ended up dealing with problems like one person being completely dependent on the other for things. Flexibility and communication are indeed big in the relationship. You don't need to have everything in common, but having at least a couple of things you enjoy doing together, and a few more things that one or the other can compromise on and still spend time together can really help.
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  12. #12

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    Re: What do guys think?

    Quote Originally Posted by localdisnyfan
    Ooooooh! Good question!

    For me, sense of humor was HUGE! If you can't goof off and "get" each other's jokes, I think you're going to be in a world of trouble. I had gone out with a couple of what I considered to be really attractive girls, but found myself just staring at them when they thought something was funny. (And vice versa.) So...those relationships didn't go anywhere. In fact, if you enjoy laughing, and the girl you are going out with has a laugh that drives you nuts, this is a good indicator that you might want to let her go.

    That being said, it's all up to YOU and what YOU want in a relationship. I can talk to my wife on SEVERAL levels. We can disagree on politics, our kids, movies....all types of things, but the IMPORTANT thing is that we can TALK at the same level. I'm not talking down to her, nor she to me. We can be goofy and enjoy each other's goofiness, we can cry at the same films, laugh at the same jokes, have discussions about global warming, our kids, the yard...whatever....and walk away feeling like we've just shared something with someone who is LIKE us...if you take my meaning.

    Beyond laughter, my wife is truly my soul mate. We "get" each other. We complete each other. However, she's not into Football, college basketball, power tools, and I'm not into cooking, journalism, or decorating the house. In those aspects, having different interests can really be a GOOD thing.

    It also helps that we both share the same faith. In fact, that's how we met. We both have the same deep seeded values, and we both want exactly the same things for our kids.

    So...backing the truck up, what drew me to her? She was TOTALLY HOT when I first saw her, but when we when out on our first date, it was like talking to an old friend. It wasn't forced, we laughed easily, and it wasn't long after that that I knew she was the one for me.

    And we will have been married 17 years next Friday.
    Wow what a great response! You and your wife have exactly what I want in life. You sound so happy having the perfect balance of personality and independent interests. Congrats on your anniversary!
    "And don't underestimate the importance of BODY LANGUAGE!"

  13. #13

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    Re: What do guys think?

    My wife and I have quite a bit in common...and quite a few differences as well. The biggest thing we have in common is our attitudes - we're both laid back, easy going people. We work well together as a team to solve problems and get through things. There's very little, if any, tearing each other down or yelling at each other when things go wrong. Not saying this doesn't work for other folks. I know couples who have been together for many years that fight almost all the time. It works for them and it makes them stronger as a couple.

    So, what I'm saying here, is to consider the idea that it's more important to have similar attitudes rather than similar interests.

    LDF, congrats on making it 17 years!

    My wife and I just celebrated our 10th at WDW in February! Whoohoo!

  14. #14

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    Re: What do guys think?

    The girls that I dated tended to have a lot of the same interests as I, as a consequence 20 years later most of them and I still keep in touch.

    My wife on the other hand hates almost everything I like, we are polar opposites, from two very different backgrounds (I'm Hispanic, she's very Anglo) but we love each other more so today than when we married almost 15 years ago.

  15. #15

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    Re: What do guys think?

    Sailerm, thank you for sharing that. It's so inspiring. I guess its different for everyone. Isn't it stinky that we have to take the time to find the one? I guess I'm a victim of the "instant gratification" that's consumed our generation *sigh*.
    "And don't underestimate the importance of BODY LANGUAGE!"

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